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As you fade into the night.

I love you more than I could ever scream

He rested his forehead on mine still stroking my cheek.

" I can honestly say, I love you" His words made me freeze. He loved me. It's only been a week but I knew I loved him.

" I - I love you too ash" I said and i saw him smile.

He leaned forward and softly kissed my lips with passion. He pulled apart .

" so.. They know about us" he said and my eyes widened.

" wait , how are you still alive?" I asked figuring jinxx would kill him.

"i was just as shocked as you are, honestly jinxx was happy" he said

" we'll hell has officially frozen over" I said and he laughed again.


" so what did Haley say when I left?" I asked and he rubbed my arm.

" just that she only called you fat and ugly to let you know, that she was helping you" he said and I froze. Jinxx was deffinatly going to catch on about stuff now.

" wow.."

" yeah, but we should back" I nodded and we stood up. He wrapped his arm around me as we made our walk silently back to the car. He got in just as his phone rang.

" ten bucks it's jinxx" I said and he chuckled taking it out of his pocket.

"and we have a winner." He cheered before answering.


" yes , yeah she's in the car next to me" he said then was silent again.

" okay, we'll be home in 5" he said and hung up putting the phone in the glovey then turning the car on.

" what did he want?" I asked as he pulled out.

"just making sure you were safe" I nodded

"you know he's going to lecture you right?" He asked and I sighed nodding. i wasn't looking forward to it.

"trust me, I know I'm in for it. If I were you I'd stay away when it happens" I said and he looked at me.

"I've been there before when he found out that you harmed again.."

" it's not just that this time ash.. I can't tell you just, take my warning" We pulled in and got out.

I slowly walked behind Ashley as he opened the door and walked in the living room. Right when I got in Sammi flew on me.

She let go and Andy came to me giving me a hug.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know she was doing that. I'm so fuckig sorry" he said into my neck. I pulled away and kissed his cheek.

"Andy, it's fine " I said and he gave a small smile Cc and jake both piled on me.

" how's your face?" Cc asked touching my right eye and I winced.

"You and biersack are matching" jake said and I looked at Andy who had a bruise on his right eye.

" shit" I said laughing.

Jinxx came to me and hugged me squeezing me.

" I'm so sorry" he said

"I'm fine jinxx" I said and he pulled away looking at me.

"Are you really Jess?" He asked and I sighed knowing where this was going. The others looked at us.

"Jinxx.." I muttered and he looked around.

" guys why don't you go in the kitchen me and jinxx need to talk to Jess" Sammi said and I sighed.

" come on no you don't" I protested

"Jess" Sammi started

" no I'm not getting a lecture we don't need to do this" I said as the other stared at me.

"yes , yes we do , and unless you want them to hear it I think you should just sit down because your not getting out of this" jinxx said and the guys froze looking at me.

I sat on the couch while Sammi walked out with the guys. I remained silent as jinxx stood in front of me.sammi returned and sat next to me.

"Jess I want you to show me your scars. AILL of them" jinxx said .

" ji-"

" no, just please now" he said and I nodded slowly. I took off my shirt leaving me in a tank top. Revealing scars going all up my arms. I lifted my shirt a little revealing the ones on my stomach all new.

" shit" he muttered looking at them. He traced a few as I saw a tear drop down his face. I put my shirt back on. And started at him as he rubbed his face.

"when was the last time?" He asked and I froze

"Jess" Sammi said

" last night" I muttered

"Sammi, go in her room and take all the razors away" he said and Sammi slowly stood up and walked to the stairs. I felt a tear fall down my face. Jinxx wiped it away.

" I know but you know I need to do this" he said I sat back down and he sat next to me.

"Jess, you've been starving yourself too haven't you?" He asked as I froze.

" Jess.." I felt tears pour down my face.

"Jessica Beatrice ferguson answer my question!" he said raising his voice as he stood up.

"Yes" I mumbled. He looked at me as I saw a tear fall down his face. He sighed rubbing his face.

" how long?"

" a week after I came here" I said and he sighed louder.

" Jess! You've been clean for a fucking year and you let one person brake you down?!" He shouted. I rubbed my face sighing.

" it's not just her!its everybody jinxx they're right! I just needed to lose some weight"

" do you understand how stupid that is?!" He yelled again.

" no jinxx! No I don't fucking understand how stupid it is, especially since I'm to busy dealing with it! Your the one who doesn't fucking understand!"

" what jess what don't I understand?" He asked. I hated this I hated fighting with him.

" ME! You don't you claim you do but do you know how much I'm hurting! I've lost 3 people in my life within the past year! I get bullied every fucking day and I hate myself! Do you know how it feels to hate yourself! To look at your reflection and absolutely hate it?! No no you fucking don't!" I screamed as tears poured down my face. I saw his face soften and his mouth open a little.

" Jess.."

" no jinxx! You don't understand! I hate myself I hate life I hate everything I just don't understand why life is doing this to me" I cried burying my head in my knees. Jinxx came over and kneeled in front of me wiping my face.

"Jess, no no don't say that, don't hate yourself , there's nothing to hate ,I know you've been threw so much and i forget that I'm sorry" he said. He sat next to me and brought me to his chest. I cried into him. I felt bad for yelling at him he's always been there for me.

" I'm sorry, I know your still mourning and Haley didn't help and neither am I by yelling at you" he said rubbing my back.

" I - I just miss them" I said into his chest as he stroked my hair.

"I know sweetie , I know, I'm sorry for yelling at you, it's just I can't deal with you hurting yourself like this" he said and I nodded.

"I know" " listen, I'm going to help you, first step is eating okay? You have to eat for me again, even a little, second is no self harming please, your so much better than that" he said

"Third, you need to let me tell the others about your whole past so they can help you"

"Fine" I said and i saw him smile kissing my forehead just as we heard a sneeze just outside the living room door.

" guys.." Jinxx called and we heard whispers following by a slap. Ashley, cc, jake and Andy slowly walked in the living room.

"how long have you been there?" Jinxx asked and they all remained quiet.

" long enough to hear you use Beatrice's full name" Ashley said. Andy elbowed his stomach. I glared at him and he smirked just as Sammi came back down the stairs with a small box.

She dumped it on the table revealing about 20 blades. I kept the box in my dresser .The guys froze and gasped at the sight.

" shit Jess" cc said

"oh no there's more" Sammi said then turned to me.

" phone" she said holding her hand out. I sighed and took it out handing it to her. She took the Case off my iPhone and held it up revealing 4 taped inside. She tore them off and put them into the pile.

The guys gasped and jinxx shook his head.

" anymore?" She asked raising her eyebrow.

"maybe.." I muttered. Their eyes widened.

" where?" Jake asked I remained quiet.

"Jess." Andy said and I sighed , might as well tell them, maybe itll be good.

"One under the bed, 2 taped inside my first dresser drawer, 2 in my beside table drawer and a few under my mattress."

" Jesus Christ" Sammi muttered running up the stairs.

"Is that all?" Jinxx asked and I nodded.

" are you sure?" Cc asked

"Yes.." I muttered just as Sammi came down throwing them on the table.

" fuck" Andy muttered

" I'll be checking you for new scars everyday" jinxx said and I nodded. Jinxx put the blades in the small box and slipped it in his pocket.

"so when did they get in here?" Sammi asked

"they were listeng the whole time" jinxx said and she nodded

" so i guess jess has some explaining to do" Sammi said sitting on the couch. Jinxx sat me next to her and he sat next to me. He motioned for the others to sit.

"How do you want to do this?" Jinxx asked to me and I sighed. " tell them everything, but your doing it" I said and he nodded.

" first off, I want to sart with how close me and Jess are" he said and they nodded.

"my parents lived on the same street as hers so growing up we were close.me being 7 years older than her I always saw her more as my little sister than my cousin. I protected her and was always there utill I moved out when she was 11 to start a band. I always kept in touch and talked on the phone. She always came to me with a problem when she was younger, but when she turned 14 is when things started getting rough." I tensed and Jinxx put his arm around me.

" she started getting bullied a lot. I even witnessed some of it when I would pick her up from school. When she turned 15 is when she started self harming and starving herself. It was getting better until that summer." I froze taking In a breath.

" that was when she attempted suicide for the first time" jinxx said and I saw them all look at me mouths opened.

" remember when I left for a week because my mom was sick?" he asked and they nodded slowly.

" Jess called me during school saying she was done with everything so I imediatly got on a plane and when I got there that night her parents said she was in her room. When I got up tere I found her bleeding on the floor with a bottle of sleeping pills" he said. Tears fell down my face and I saw the others start to tear up.

"she didn't want me to tell you guys so I didn't. She got better though , she found a boy named Cameron" he said and tears immediately came down my face at his name.

" best kid I've met, he helped her stop harming herself and to start loving herself. She was happy finally. They got together a few weeks after her attempt and lasted 8 months" he said.

" why did you guys brake up?" Cc asked and I froze alittle choking on my tears. They immediately got looks of worry as jinxx put his arm around me tighter.

" it's okay Jess.." He said and I burried my head more into his chest.

He let out a breath.

"they didn't.. A year ago they were driving home one night when a drunk driver hit the car. Cam leaned over and covered Jess"

I was shaking by this point leaning into jinxx's chest. Sammi was rubbing my back.

" he died on impact while Jess escaped with only a concussion. Which again I rushed down for, we weren't on tour at the time so you guys didn't know but when I got there she was completly shut down. I stayed with my aunt and uncle for 3 months with her until we came on tour. I managed to help her and she was better she had stopped harming again, and was doing good Until a few months ago she started again and then when her parents died"

" so.. That's it" he said I was shaking into his chest while tears fell down my face fast.

" shh Jess it's okay" he said rubbing my shoulders again. I lifted my head and saw them all looking at me. Tears were on their faces and I just buried more into jinxx.

" Jess it's okay come on" Sammi said rubbing my back but I couldn't stop. I hated the past.

Jinxx stood up and picked me up in his arms walking out of the room and up the stairs. He went into my room and out me on the bed. He sat next to me.

" I know it's hard jessy but they needed to know" he said and I took in a breath.

"I-I know, I- I just hate thinking about it" I said and he nodded rubbing circles in my back

. " I know you do, but it's better to talk about the memories and past instead of letting it build up" he said. I felt my eyes start to droop as I leaned against his chest.

" why don't you get some sleep" he said and I nodded slowly. He moved me so I was laying against my pillow and he put the blanket over me. He kissed my forehead.

" I love you Jess get some sleep" he said and walked out. I slowed my breathing and shut my eyes desperately wanting sleep to overcome me.


jinxx's pov:

I walked down the stairs slowly and into the living room where they all were sitting there. They're faces were red and I sighed sitting next to Sammi.

" I I didn't know she went through so much" jake said and I nodded.

"that's why I'm so protective, me and my parents are her only family and if anything happens to her , I don't know what i'd do" I said rubbing my face.

" me neither, ever since I met her I've gotten attached to her " Sammi said and I smiled rubbing her shoulder.

" I understand now, " Andy said and I nodded.

"It broke my heart when she started to brake down" cc said and I nodded again.

" I know , it hurts me also"

" is she okay now?" Ash asked and I shrugged

" I think she's sleeping but she's probably going to wake up with a nightmare so I should probably go lay down with her" I said but Ashley stood up.

" no ill do it" he said and we all smiled.

" go ahead" He smiled and ran up the stairs.

"wow, he really cares for her" jake said and we nodded.

"I know I'm happy they both need somebody "

" maybe he can help her" Sammi said

"I know he can" I said back and they smiled as we sat back in the couch.


Ashley's pov:

I ran up the stairs and to Jessica's door silently opening it and looking in. She was asleep on her bed and I smiled walking in.

I laid down next to her and she instantly came closer. I wrapped my arms around her and smile as she rested her head on my chest and I nuzzled Into her neck slowly drifting off.

I woke up to Jess moving around crying. Nightmare.

" Jess" I said rubbing her back.

Her eyes snapped open and she looked at me worriedly. When she saw it was me she relaxed and laid against my chest crying a little.

"hey it's okay it was just a dream" I said rubbing her back.

" I know it was just so real" she said into my chest and I held her closer rubbing her back.

" I know , just relax okay baby? Go back to sleep ill be here to protect you" I said and I felt her relax a little

. " I love you" she said sleepily

"I love you too, now sleep ill be here" I said I kissed her head and she snuggle closer into my chest slowing her breathing.

" I'll always be here" I whispered even though I'm pretty sure she couldn't hear me.

I looked at her and instantly made a promise to myself that I would protect this girl with life and give her something living for.

I had to.


So here it is!! Don't hate me


I love this so much update soon plzzzz

Madison Madison


IzzieDeadnow IzzieDeadnow

This story is amazing! It made me smile, laugh and cry. This is one of the greatest stories I have ever read before. You have done amazing job! When I started reading this I couldn't stop cause I just had to keep reading cause I had to know what's gonna happen next.
At first I was sure she would end up with Andy but then after a while it was obvious that it would be ash and they are so super cute together in this story. I LOVE THIS AND CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! :)

BubbleslovesBVB BubbleslovesBVB

All the feels!!!

IzzieDeadnow IzzieDeadnow

Yay she's awake!

musicminxx musicminxx