As you fade into the night.

I sliced the cold silver blade across my wrist ever line I carved made my anxiety bubble down as I looked at the work I did regret instantly making my pain created high die down.

I was immediatly washed over with disappointment and discust, the human I had became was not the human I thought I was. But I don't even know if I knew who I was back then. I sure as hell wasn't making my parents proud, or my cousin, god if he saw me like this he would not be proud but that's exactly why I kept him out of all the events that had happened this week.

Last Friday night started off as any Friday night, I had my friend Matt coming over to watch movies while my parents went out for dinner, but it didn't end normal, hardly.

----

"Are you sure you don't want to come? Matt you're welcome to also you know that" my mom said walking into the living room where me and Matt were siting on the tan couch.

The tv was set up on the Play station home Screen waiting for a disk to be put in which Matt was searching for now his black hair swooping up to look at my mother in a pleasant smile.

"No I think we're all set right?" He asked towards me and I nodded

"Yeah we're going to order a pizza or something, besides you two barley get a night out alone anymore, you could use it" I said towards my beautiful blond haired mother.

She didn't resemble me much, her hair being blond that fell against her pale white skin with her blue eyes. I got most my genes from my dad who stood tall with tan skin, dark hair and dark eyes that matched my long dark hair that I had styled with side bangs that fell against my tan skin.

"as long as you guys are sure" she said as my dad walked in

"we are"

" okay, be good , there's money on top of the fridge so you guys can get that pizza I heard you mention, we shouldn't be home too late " my dad said walking behind the couch and messing up matts hair making him laugh

Me and Matt had been friends since diapers, so his home was mine and vise versa, he loved my parents and I knew they loved him as their own also.

" okay bye we love you" we both said as they leaned down and kissed my head before they headed out the door.

"okay find a movie and ill order the pizza" Matt instructed tossing the disks my way as he pulled his skinny jeaned body of my couch and into the kitchen.

I skimmed through the disks before settling on fight club. I stood up and popped the disk in before settling back into the couch as Matt hopped next to me

"Be here in 20, mm fight club wise choice" he smirked at me as the credits rolled on and I smiled settling into the couch.

After we had eaten and put a second movie in we ended up sprawled basically on top of each other half asleep when a hard steady nock julted me awake.

I sprung up shaking Matt as another nock pounded

" who is it?" He whispered getting up

" we'll not mom and dad they have a key" I said and I saw him peer over my head towards the window

"What the fuck?" He asked quickly getting up as another nock erupted

I stood up too and followed him to the door as I saw what he saw. Red and blue flashing lights.

I stood next to him and he opened the door revealing two police offers holding their hats by their sides. The color from my body drained as I gripped Matt arm. I knew what this was, who wouldn't.

"Jessica ferguson?"

I nodded and he sighed out softly

"Your parents owned a red suburban correct?"

I nodded again and they shook sadly

"I'm deeply sorry to be the one to say this but, I'm afraid your parents were in a fatal accedent, I'm so sorry"
--

And those where the words that sent my life down hill. My life turned upside down at those words, I was 17 and now I had no one.

We had no family really my mom being an only child the only family we had was my dads two sisters, one sister living in Canada and the other living right in the neighborhood.

That night I called her and she came right over and insited on me staying with her util we figured things out but I declined.

And that's how I ended up here, on my bedroom floor, cutting my life away to my cousins music. A sad start to my new life

The song was cut off and silenced as my ringtone cut in. I sighed out before lifting the phone and looking at it Immediatly smiling at the sight of my cousins contact.

I knew he'd call eventually I hit the accept button and put it to my ear

" hello?"

" hey"

jinxx's voice said calm and smooth

"Momma jinxx tell you?" I asked and I felt it grow quiet

" she did Jess"

I didn't reply and I heard his shaky voice breath in and out

"I'm so sorry" he said and I smiled slightly wiping my eyes

" it's okay"

" no it's not, I missed the funeral and everything all because I've been in London, and I could have been there for you, I should have been there for you" he said

"jinxx, you can't help your schedule"

"I know I can't but, I just wanted to be there"

"I could've used you"

" I bet, speaking of which, how are you?" He asked and I sighed looking down at the work I had done

" as good as I can get" I all but whispered

" so me and my mom talked and we came up with something, but I want to make sure you're okay with it" he said and I stayed silent waiting for him to go on

"you can't stay in that house alone, and I , I have an extra room in my apartment so I was thinking maybe, you could live with me and Sammi?" He asked making me freeze and look at my purple wall

Move to LA? With him, that's been my dream forever

. "You're serious?"

"One hundred percent"

" oh my god, yes " I said and I heard a slight chuckle

" I was hoping that would be a yes"

"Of course, why would I say no?" I asked and he laughed again

" don't be smart on me I just was being polite and asking, would you have rathered I just came and took you without permission?"

"I'd follow you anywhere jinxx you know that" I said and he laughed again

" I know love I know"

I smiled before his voice came in again

"Okay so, I'm coming in tomorrow, should be there around noon, or later, but just expect me okay?"

I smiled wider

" I will"

" okay good, now get some sleep, ill see you tomorrow, I love you" I heard him say down the line and I smiled again A true smile, in a week, he always did that

" I love you too jinxx, goodnight"

" goodnight"

The line clicked off and the sat against the wall again, maybe a fresh start would be the best, just to get away and actually try to do something with my life.

Notes

Hey guys! So new story hope u like it! Comment and let me know, some of you might Regonize me from my other story " maybe there's still hope, and the SEQUAL" I can't feel anything anymore" I am NOT. Quoting the stories only just publishing some others I made. Enjoy;)