Audrey's POV
I wake with Maria's familiar voice humming in the tent. Slowly, I pulled myself up to sit as I watched her work. We had a lot of Wild Ones in the infirmary tent. So many returned with wounds or illnesses from the cold, wet cellars of the tower. Blair had come out everyday and gave us all a little healing. The scars now adorned my wrists from the rope that almost killed me. My side was almost healed done, only a large scab about the size of my palm. It would take a few more times to heal over completely. Maria slowly moved from bedside to bed size, administering medications I'd helped to make with her. The small place was a chorus of coughs and I could tell Maria was becoming slightly overwhelmed its the large number of patients. Other women of the camp had volunteered to help, but I'd been back for four days and awake for two now. Carefully, I pulled myself up from the bed and called to Maria that I was going for a walk and would return later to assist her. She nodded and continued her work. I adjusted the blue jean short I was wearing and the black tank top with my black leather combat vest still on. The light burned my eyes as I pulled back the tent flap. I had heard the buzz that tonight would be the official cremation and burial ceramoy of all of the dead Rebels. As much as it killed me inside, Blair had told me of Ella's passing, and even though I knew Jakes heart was hers, I knew he would need someone tonight. I'd be inflicting so much pain on myself by doing this, my heart still pleaded and begged for him, but my will no matter had a say in this. I would be there for him despite my personal emotional suicide.

I wandered the dusty path of the camp. Things had changed since the return of the imprisoned. Families had been reunited, loves reclaimed, and friends linked back together. It seemed everything was changing for the camp, for the better. Even the sky didn't seem so intense anymore. Sunlight doesn't seem to burn as badly, the heat not as blistering. I happened to love now appreciate everything I had since I was released from my hell in the form of a metal cellar and a coarse hanging rope. Everything was more beautiful, lovely in its own way.
I glanced over to center of the camp, a large circle of people were talking. I stopped in my tracks as I realized, some of these people had been hostiges from Isring. A young man with sandy colored hair turned. It was Roth, the youngest of my older brothers. He turned his head and double took as his brown eyes scanned over me. He stopped mid sentence. I bolted toward him, sprinting the short distance. He wrapped me in his arms, picking me up and holding me against his muscled chest.
"Audrey! Oh my god, you're alive! Oh sissy," he choked.
"Roth, I thought you were dead. Oh my god, oh my god. Oh fuck I missed you so badly!" I cried as he set me down, but kept his arms around me as I buried my face into the blue shirt he wore.
"Ahh sis. I'm so happy now. I've been so worried about you."
"I thought a soldier would have killed you since you are in the guard."
"I'm a strong one," he said as he squeezed me lightly.

We stepped apart. "What about..." I trailed off.
His face seemed to fall. "Zion was killed in the original attack on Isring. I haven seen dad or
Skyler or Westen." So our oldest brother was dead, and our father and other two older brothers were missing. Wonderful.
"Oh," I said quietly. He hugged me. "At least you're safe. I don't know what I would do without you, Roth. If you hadn't showed me how to fight I would be dead right now."
"That's what big brothers do for their baby sisters."
"I'm not a baby anymore, but I certainly am your little sister."
"Tell you what, I'm going to help the Legion with the burial tonight. Will you be there?" he asked.
"Most likely."
"Why don't you meet up with me after? We have some catching up to do."

I said goodbye to Roth. He had always been my closest friend, and favorite brother. I could trust him with anything. He had been to break the law of Isring and teach me to fight along with teaching me the art of war plotting and strategy. That helped the rebels be freed because of Andy and Is plan. My life had changed so severely in just a few weeks times. I'd gone from a depressed and oppressed girl in a village of male dominated hierarchy and now I was a free spirit in a refugee camp.

The afternoon faded into the early evening, and the sky began to change to the light orange as the sun began to descend over the ocean of sand. I wandered to the edge of the desert, where the bodies were burned. The camp was beginning to congregate. I slowly moved through the small crowd, making my way to the front. One in the front line I spotted Blair, who was standing with her hands around CCs arm.
She sadly smiled at me and held a hand out to me. I walked across the gap to her as she stretched her arms out to me and hugged me tenderly. I layed my head on her shoulder as I hugged her back.
"Things will be OK, Audrey," she whispered in my ear.
I sighed and released her. Andy walked around the corner with Ashley and Jinxx, who was hand and hand with Juliet and Jinxx with Sammi). I raised my eyebrow as I saw Jake wasn't with them. Andy released his hand from Juliet's and stepped forward, addressing the crowd for mourners.

"Tonight," he called out, "tonight, we will celebrate the lives of each fallen one in the name of our liberty. Those who were imprisoned, those who fought, and those who were taken. As we celebrate their lives, please remember that they are in peace now. Each one will be brought forward be a loved one and named. Unfortunately we have many who we don't know, but we will pay them the respect they deserve.
We will begin. Falon Rossi, soldier of Isring. Seth Anile, Isring." Andy read off the names and one by one the dead were brought forward, each was wrapped in white sheeting. They were layed side by side on a large wooden support line that had been built.
My heart burned as Ella was called, and jake slowly trudged forward, tears slowly falling as he marched forward, face set strongly with her in his arms. He layed her covered body beside another. He placed his hand over her chest, and kissed her covered forehead one more time before stepped away. He retreated behind the large crates that stood as a backdrop. I glanced at Blair and turned, before rounding the corner of the crates. Jake was standing, one arm over his head resting against a crate, head leaning on it. His fists were clentched as he closed his eyes, trying so desperately not to cry.
"Jake," I whispered.
His eyes opened, red and swollen as he looked at me. He slammed his fist into the crate as he turned away from me. "This isn't a good time."
I crossed the short space between us and layed a hand in his shoulder. "I just wanted to check on you. I know...I know that you want to be left alone, but when you need to talk... I-I'll be here."
He didn't say anything. I held in a choking sob. A tear fell down my face. I couldn't help but sniffle. He suddenly turned around. "Why are you crying?" he asked sharply.
"You're not the only one who hurts, Jake."
"Really?! Did you just lose the love of your life, just moments before you could have saved them?" he growled. His words hurt, like each one was a knife in my heart.

"Yes I did." I choked on my words as another tear came cascading down my face.
His face twisted in a mix of pain and anger. "Stop chasing me, Audrey. It won't work."
"That never seemed to matter when you kissed me! Or how the night before the march began to the tower you noted me to sleep in the same bed as you, while you wrapped ourselves togther that night! What did you think that would do? What the hell was I supposed to do if she was alive now? Just drop to the side and watch you two be in love? How fucking considerate Jake!" I yelled through the hot tears. I stared at him, waiting for a reply which didn't come.

I turned on my heel, wiping the tears and sprinting from him. Why the hell did I even come? What did I expect? Jake was just hug me and say 'Audrey, even though the girl I proposed to and love died, I love you now and want to be yours.' I'm a fool. I slowed to a walk and kicked a large pebble out of my way. I leaned on the metal structure in front of me, turning my back to it and sinking to the ground. I placed my head in my knees and cried. My mind was racing. Maybe I should just go back to Isring with Roth. Maybe I don't belong here. The church of fear, the church of failure, the church of fools, I belonged no where. I was treated cruely no matter where I went. I've been pushed down so many times I don't want to get back up. I simply don't belong here. I'm just a marching reject, a complete defect. No one will ever just tell me the truth. Should I just end it all? I could easily end all this pain. Oh who am I kidding? The gates of heaven would lock shut in my face. Hell is completely full probably with all of the shadows we killed. I fear, I don't belong here, I belong no where. I'm subjected to constant misery.

I curled my arms around my knees as the words rang in my heads you don't belong. You miserable reject. you fuck up. A thousand lies have made me so cold now. I can longer look at anything the same way, he's so far away from me now, but I swear I can't stop dreaming about Jake. His gorgeous face keeps ceiling into my dreams, torturing me with the ideas of what could be, more like what could have been between us. I choak back my sons, and do the only thing to calm my self. I remember an old song that my
brother would sing. He had heard the song when our mother had died. Our father had sang it to himself.
I forgot some of the words, but I just started singing to myself quietly, alone under the desert night sky.

"I've heard this life is over rated, but I hope that it gets better as we go.
I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time.
Im here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight, it's only you and me."

I found myself finally calming down. I opened my eyes and wiped them, brushing away the last few painful tears. I looked the way I had came, smoke now rising, a white and grey shadow drifting away into the starless night sky. I was still filled with pain, but it was a little more bearable now. I stood up and brushed myself off. I wandered back the way I had came, but then decided as I neared the fire that it was probably best that I not run into jake right now. It was for my own well being. I turned and walked down the main road to the infirmary, but I knocked into something large and solid. I closed my eyes as I bumped into it, rather...him. I opened my eyes, glaring into those dark eyes.

Notes

Here ya go!
I hope you like this and PLEASE comment!

I used we don't belong by BVB and Here without you by 3 doors down