Limbo

ASHLEY:

"So how long does it take to get to your house from here?" Lily inquires as we walk across the hotel parking lot toward the car I've rented. "Are we gonna have to stop for lunch or anything before we get there?"

"Oh, come on, now!" Dawn exclaims. "We just finished breakfast less than twenty minutes ago, you can't be hungry already!"

"No, just wondering."

"It usually takes about three hours to get there, unless there's roadwork or something going on," I tell them as we put our bags into the trunk. "So I was thinking that we can stop at a convenience store on the way out of town and grab something to drink for the trip, and if everything goes smoothly, we should be there before one o'clock. And I can guarantee you that my Nan, and whichever of my aunts happens to be there, will be more than happy to feed us."

I pull out of the parking lot and start making my way toward Interstate 70, which will take us most of the way home. The girls are looking around at everything as I drive, and as we get near one of the big roadside signs that tell people where to find food or gas, Lily lets out a squeal. "That sign says there's a Seven-Eleven at the next exit! Can we please stop there for our drinks, Ash? I'd really like to get a Slurpee!"

I cut a quick glance at Dawn, and inquire, "Is that good for you, babe? I'm fine stopping anywhere."

"Yeah, that actually does sound kind of good. I can't remember the last time I had a Slurpee."

I slow down to take the exit, and as I pull up in front of the store, Lily is out of the car almost before it stops. We follow her in, they head straight for the Slurpee dispenser, and since I'm not as much of a sugary drink fan as they are, I decide to have an iced coffee. I get my drink, walk over to where they're putting the plastic dome lids on their Slurpee cups, and as I look at what they're holding, the only thing I can think to say is, "Wow, those are bright! Are you sure they're not radioactive or something?"

Lily grins, and holds her nearly fluorescent green drink out toward me. "It's sour apple, wanna try it?" she offers.

"Thanks, kiddo, but I'll pass. That actually sounds like it could be painful," I reply. Then, slipping my arm around Dawn's waist, I ask, "And should I even ask what in the world you have? How do you get a striped Slurpee?"

"You alternate between the spigots," she says, gesturing at the machine with her peacock-blue and yellow beverage. "And it's blueberry and banana. I couldn't decide which I wanted, so I got both."

"I think I may be scared of both of you now," I laugh, as we head to the front of the store. "Okay, put your nuclear waste on the counter so the nice man can ring us up."

Lily gives me a raspberry, and Dawn wrinkles her nose at me. "Smartass," she mutters.

"Yeah, probably," I agree. "But I suppose that's better than being a dumbass."

We go back to the car, and finally manage to make it to the interstate. Since it's a Monday, and most people are already at work, we manage to make pretty good time, and we're driving through Kingdom City almost before I know it. "We're over halfway there, so it won't be too much longer," I tell them. In the rearview mirror, I see Lily nod, acknowledging that she heard me, then go back to the little electronic game that she brought with her.

Then I take a quick glance at Dawn, and I'm startled to see that she's gone pale, and is sort of working her bottom lip between her teeth. "Hey, you feel okay, darlin'?" I ask. "Do you need me to stop at a station or something?"

"No, I'm fine," she replies.

"Somehow I doubt that, since you're white as a sheet right now. Please tell me what's wrong."

She doesn't answer for several seconds, but when she finally does speak, I can barely hear her. "What if they don't like me?"

I have no idea where this came from, but I'm not going to try to deal with it while I'm driving, so I pull off the road into a grocery store parking lot and turn off the car. "What put that into your head?" I inquire. "There's no reason in the world why they wouldn't like you. You're smart, and talented, and you're a genuinely decent person, so what's not to like?"

"But have you told them about our family, and what sort of background we came from? What kind of horrible person Victor is?"

"Yes, I have. I explained everything to them as soon as we officially decided that we were dating. And it didn't bother them in the slightest," I inform her. "Actually, they were pretty impressed that you came out of the situation as well as you have. And just so my feelings on the matter are clear, even if they did decide for some unfathomable reason that they weren't fond of you, we'd just have to agree to disagree, because I happen to be madly in love with you, and I'm not going to let anyone or anything change that. And truthfully, I'm pretty sure that Nan will just be thrilled that I'm actually serious enough about someone to bring them home. She's told me that as long as I find someone who makes me happy, and actually cares about me, and not just what I do, then that's all that matters."

She seems to relax a bit after this, so I get back on the road, and within an hour, I see the sign for my exit. Then, just as I flip on the blinker, my phone goes off, so I tell Dawn, "Have a look and see who's calling, if you don't mind."

She picks up the phone, then tells me, "The caller ID says it's somebody named Kyle."

"That's my cousin. Go ahead and answer, if you don't mind."

She accepts the call, and I hear, "Hello? No, this is Dawn, he's driving right now. Umm, I don't know, hang on a sec." She moves the phone away, and says, "He wants to know how long until we get there."

"I just took the exit onto 19, so probably twenty minutes or so."

She repeats this to my cousin, then ends the call. "He said your grandma wanted to know so she could start getting food on the table. I guess she's been holding lunch until we get there."

I laugh, and reply, "Well, then I guess I'd better get a move on. Kyle gets kind of grumpy when he's hungry."

We finally drive into Berger, and Lily marvels at how small it is. "How many people live here?" she wonders.

"Last time I checked, a bit less than three hundred," I tell her.

"Wow, there are more people than that just in my school!"

After passing through town, we finally reach the road that leads to my childhood home, and within minutes, I see the familiar two-story pale blue house, and the barn just beyond. I pull up next to someone's pickup, and as I turn off the engine, even before I can open the door, I hear someone yell, "Mom! Tell Nanny they're here!"

I see a small figure bound off the porch and run toward the car, and recognize Kyle's daughter, Emily. As soon as I step out, she latches onto my waist and squeals, "Hi Ash! You haven't been home forever, we've missed you! And Nanny said that you were bringing somebody my age with you this time! Did you? I hope so, all of the other girls are too little, or don't want me to go anywhere with them."

I hug her back, and say, "Hey there, small fry. I've missed you all, too. And I think that Lily's a bit older than you, but you're probably still close enough to get along pretty well."

Lily opens the door and steps out of the car, looking at Em kind of curiously. "Hi, I'm Lily," she says. "I'm twelve and a half, how old are you?"

"I'll be twelve in April. And my name's Emily. Do you like kittens?"

Before I know it, Em has hauled her off to look at a litter of new kittens in the barn, and the front door opens just as they disappear around the corner. "Lunch is in ten minutes, so don't be too long out there, you hear me?" Nan calls out.

"Okay, Nanny! Well be back in a minute!"

Dawn closes the car door, and seems to be hesitating as Nan motions for me to come forward. She hugs me, then steps back and looks me over. "It's good to see you, sweetie. You look good, even though I still think you need some more meat on your bones."

"No thanks, Nan, I'll pass on that, if it's all the same to you. I'm glad to see you, too, I've missed the hell out of you guys."

She glances past my shoulder, then crooks her finger and says, "Come on over, hon, I don't bite!"

Dawn finally moves away from the car and walks over to stand next to me, just as Pop comes off the porch to join us. I get a hug and a slap on the back from him, then slide my arm around Dawn's waist, moving her slightly in front of me. "Nan, Pop, this is my girlfriend, Dawn Cameron. And babe, these are my grandparents."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you," she almost whispers. "Ash talks about you all the time."

"He's had quite a bit to say about you, too, sweetie," Nan replies, as she sweeps Dawn into a big hug, taking her slightly off guard. She then does the same sort of visual inspection she did with me, and announces, "Y'know, Ash, I thought you were probably exaggerating a bit, but she's every bit as pretty as you said."

"Yeah, I know," I agree. "But she's also one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, and smart and talented on top of it."

"Good to hear," Pop chimes in. "Those are the things that matter, 'cause pretty don't always last."

We all file into the house, and I introduce her to all of the other relatives who have shown up, then repeat the process when Lily comes in from the barn. It seems that she and Em have already become fast friends, and she's also quite excited when Nan offers to let her help with dinner later, and to teach her how to make a homemade pie crust.

As everyone chatters away over lunch, Dawn starts to relax, seeming to be a bit more at ease with everyone, even laughing a couple of times as my cousin's are being goofy. And a bit later in the afternoon, as people start heading back home, several of my relatives take time to let me know that they approve of my choice. We're also informed that Kyle and his wife, Amber, have promised to take Em to a movie that she's been wanting to see the next afternoon when she gets out of school, and she begs Dawn and her folks to let Lily go, too, which they finally agree to.

Then, once the crowd has cleared out, Nan asks me and Pop to get the bags out of the car while she shows the girls to the room they'll be sharing while we're here. We go grab them, and as I'm carrying them upstairs, I stop in my tracks as I see Dawn and Nan standing in the upstairs hallway, just outside the door of my room. Nan lifts her hand to point at something on the wall, and I instantly know what it is; a picture of me with my parents, that was taken just a couple of weeks before they died. It's been in that spot for as long as I can remember, and when I was a little kid, it always made me feel more secure when I went to bed at night, like they were still looking out for me.

"He was very handsome," I hear Dawn saying. "Ash looks a lot like him. She was very pretty, too. And she looks like someone who would have been fun to hang out with."

"Oh, yes," Nan says. "She had a marvelous sense of humor, Ash gets that from her. My son was a bit more serious. But they absolutely adored each other, there was no question about that. Just like there's no question about how the two of you feel about each other. I was watching you during lunch, and you look at him the same way his mother looked at my son. Like he's the center of your world."

Dawn looks away from the picture, at Nan, and very simply responds, "Because he is. I don't know if he told you this, but I was married before. My husband was killed almost two years ago. We got married pretty young, and even though we still cared about each other, we'd figured out that we weren't right for each other, we were actually about to file for divorce when he died. We loved each other, but we weren't in love, if that makes any sense. But it's totally different with Ash, I'm sure of what I want and how I feel, in ways that I never was with Sawyer. We understand each other, and I can't even think of not having him in my life now."

Nan reaches out to embrace her, and murmurs, "That's all I needed to know. I don't think I've ever seen my grandson happier than he is with you. And as long as he's happy, you'll always have a place here."

And when I hear that, I know there's nothing to be concerned about. She's been accepted, and if they don't already love her as much as I do, they soon will. She's one of the family now.

Notes