Limbo

RACHEL:

I lie here in bed, pretending to watch TV, when all of my attention is really on the door. I've been here for three days, and the only people I've seen are doctors, nurses, and more cops than I ever realized existed. Not only have Whitworth and his people been here, but I've had to deal with a metric fuck-ton of questions from the Mounties, the CISC, and even a couple of people from Interpol. I know that they're just doing their job, and that they have to ask all of their questions, but after awhile it just gets to the point where I want to tell them, "It's been lovely, but I need to scream now."

But no matter how much time I spend staring at that slab of wood, or how much I wish for it, the people that I actually want to see are nowhere to be found. Even though it hurts, I've accepted the fact that Ash doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, but I thought that at least one of the other guys might drop in, even if it was only to say goodbye. But it seems that isn't the case, since no one has even called.

Unfortunately, that means that I'm bored nearly to the point of tears, because I can't really do much right now. My body was essentially in suspended animation for over a year, so my muscle tone and strength is pretty well fucked right now. This is my third day here, and I still need to have a nurse help me get to the bathroom, and I just this morning got my hands coordinated enough to actually pick up the TV remote, instead of just stabbing at it while it's on the nightstand. According to the doctors, I'm gonna have to retrain my muscles to do everything I used to be able to do, which means physical therapy, probably for several months. Somehow, I have the feeling that I'm not going to enjoy the process, but it's the only was I can get myself back to normal, so I'm trying to get myself psyched up to just do it and get it over with.

I hear someone tap on the door, and my heart sort of jumps as it swings open, but it sinks again when I see that it's just Peggy, my daytime nurse. She smiles at me and says, "There are some people here to see you, are you up for some company, hon?"

Finally, they're here! I think, as I try to look past her. "As long as it's not more cops, then sure. Go ahead and let them in."

She goes back out, and a couple of seconds later, the door starts swinging open, kind of slowly, and a head comes around the edge. But instead of Ash, or any of the other guys, the person who's looking at me somewhat uncertainly is a young girl with short blonde hair, who almost instantly breaks into a huge smile and hurls herself into the room.

"Sissy, you're really here!" she shrieks as she practically flings herself into the bed with me. "I've missed you so much, I didn't think I'd ever get to see you again!"

"I've missed you, too, sweetie," I say as I wrap my arms around her and squeeze as tightly as I'm able. "You look so much better than when you went away, are you feeling all right now?"

"Oh, I'm a lot better now," she assures me. "I still have to go have checkups once in awhile, but it's all gone right now, and the doctor said that I have a really good chance of not getting it back."

We talk for a couple of minutes, then the door opens again, and I look up to see my Aunt Wendy step into the room, with a couple of strange men behind her. She comes around to the other side of the bed and leans down to kiss my cheek. "Hello there, hon, we're so glad to have you back. We would have been here sooner, but we needed to take care of some things, so they won't interrupt us now."

Evie notices me glancing at the men, and gestures toward the closest one, who sort of resembles Viggo Mortenson, announcing, "That's Jed, he's really cool. He's Aunt Wendy's fiancee, so he's gonna be our uncle soon."

He smiles, and walks over to stand next to my aunt. "Hello, Rachel. I've heard a lot about you from your sister, so it's nice to finally meet you." He gestures to the other guy, and says, "This is my brother, Reid, he's an attorney, and he's agreed to help get everything sorted out for you and Evie."

"What do you mean, sort everything out?"

"All of the reporters who've been trying to get at you, for one thing," Aunt Wendy replies. "With Reid here, we can have him give out any statements that need to go out, unless you want to speak to them. Plus, he can also take care of getting any property that Victor had sold, and getting the proceeds to you girls. And if things get too out of control, he can help make arrangements to protect your privacy."

"Well, I already know that the house went back to the bank, and someone else already has it," I told her. "Other than that, I have no clue what he might have squirreled away while I was out of commission, so I can't help you there."

"That's why I'm here, young lady, so you don't have to worry about that," Reid says. "All you need to do is concentrate on getting back on your feet."

Evie looks up at them, almost vibrating with excitement as she squeals, "Can I tell her now? Can I, huh? Pleeeease?"

They all chuckle, and Aunt Wendy reaches out to fluff her hair. "Yes, you can tell her, but turn the volume down a notch, or they might kick us all out."

Evie claps her hand to her mouth and says, "Oops, sorry!" in a slightly lower tone. Then she turns back to me, and says, "You get to come home with us, Sissy! Isn't that awesome? We have a really pretty house, with a big yard and a pool, and you can play with my puppy, and we can take her for walks when you feel better. Doesn't that sound cool?"

"Yes, it sounds very cool, kiddo, but I thought that they said I was going to have to stay in the hospital for awhile. What happened to that?"

"That was when you didn't have anyone here to look after you while you're rehabbing," Aunt Wendy explains. "But since Jed and I are willing to take the responsibility, you'll be flown to the hospital in Sacramento so they can evaluate your condition a bit more. Hopefully that will only take a couple of days, then you can come live with us, and do outpatient therapy. And once you're better, you can decide if you want to go to school, or find a job and go out on your own, or whatever else you might like to do."

"Okay, then, when are we figuring on doing this?"

"Right now, unless you have some reason that you'd rather wait," Jed responds. "Wendy has already signed all of their forms, so we can leave as soon as we can get someone to wheel you downstairs."

I glance at the clock, and see that visiting hours will be over in less than five minutes, and glancing out the window doesn't show me any of the cars that the guys have rented. So I guess this is it; they're not coming. So I shake my head and say, "No, we can go now. I thought I had some friends who might come to see me, but it seems that I was wrong, so I guess I don't have any reason to stay."

Reid leaves the room, and comes back a couple of minutes later, followed by a nurse with a wheelchair. She sends him and Jed back out while she and Aunt Wendy help me put on the new clothes they brought for me, then they sit me down in the chair, and I start my trip to California, and hopefully, to something resembling a normal life.

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ASHLEY:

"Oh, for fuck's sake, how many times do we have to keep repeating ourselves?" I groan, as the guy from Interpol asks me the same questions I've been answering for the last three days. "What's with you guys, anyway? I'd think that you'd be more interested in raking that batch of loonies over the coals than listening to us saying the same things over and over again."

"Trust me, Mr. Purdy, we definitely have people questioning Berridge's 'loonies', as you so aptly describe them. But we also need to be sure that we have every possible detail, and that none of you have forgotten anything."

"Well, pretty soon you'll be defeating your own purpose if this keeps up," I snap back. "Between you guys, the locals, and the Mounties, I think we've probably gotten all of five or six hours of sleep in the last thirty-odd hours, in some seriously uncomfortable chairs, and that wasn't all at once. Pretty soon we'll be lucky if I can remember my own fucking name, let alone anything else!"

He seems to be rather surprised to hear this, and leaves the room for several minutes. When he comes back, he says, "I've checked the interview logs, and it seems that you're correct, so you and your friends are free to go back to your lodgings for now. But we may need to speak to you all again, so please don't leave the area without informing us."

"Yeah, well, since our manager and our lawyer have been here since yesterday trying to talk them out of revoking our work visas and shipping us back to LA, we're not the ones you'll have to talk to about that," I retort.

He finally lets me leave the room, and I stagger out to meet Charlie, Bob, and the guys in the lobby of the building that they hustled us off to after they took Rachel's dad and his weirdos away, and rushed her off to the hospital. Everybody else looks about as wiped out as I feel, so I ask, "If you guys are as tired as I am, who the hell is driving?"

"Sue and Angie are coming to pick us up, they should be here in a few," Charlie says. "So we should be back at the house and able to crash in less than an hour."

"You can, if that's what you want, but I'm going to the hospital to see Rachel," I inform them. "I need to be sure that she's okay, and to apologize for being such a complete asshole. She might hate my guts, but I need to talk to her."

"Ashley, you're all about ready to drop in your tracks, so why don't you wait until tomorrow?" I hear Susan inquire from behind me. "You all need to get some decent food and some sleep, not necessarily in that order."

"If you want to take them back, that's fine. I'll walk there, or take a cab," I reply. "But if I don't do this, I'm not going to get any rest. So I'm going, whether anyone else want's to join me or not."

"Yeah, he'd do it, too," Andy sighs. "So we might as well stop and see her before we crash out. To be honest, I might sleep a little better myself if I see for myself that she's actually okay, or at least as okay as possible under the circumstances."

"Y'know, I think we probably all would, when you put it that way," CC chimes in.

Everyone else agrees, so we go out to the cars, the ladies drive to the hospital, and we all basically swarm into the lobby. Susan goes to the desk and asks for Rachel's room number, only to have the clerk tell her that visiting hours are over, and we'll have to come back tomorrow. She tries explaining that we've just been able to get there, and asks if we can go in for just a couple of minutes, but it doesn't do any good, so they argue back and forth until a doctor comes over and asks what the problem is.

"I've told these people repeatedly that visiting hours are over, but they keep insisting on seeing the patient," the clerk grumbles.

He asks who we're there to see, and when Susan gives him Rachel's name, we're totally stunned when he says, "Oh, I'm sorry, she's no longer a patient here, her family had her transferred just about forty-five minutes ago."

"Transferred where?" I manage to ask, but he just shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, but unless you're a relative, I can't tell you that," he states. "We respect the privacy of our patients here."

"Well, can you at least tell us if she's going to be okay?"

He looks at me for several seconds, and I start to think that I won't get an answer to that, either, but he finally says. "She's going to require therapy to get her muscles back in proper working order, but if she's diligent about it, she should be fine. She's actually quite fortunate, because most of the time, someone who has been in a coma for that long, especially when oxygen deprivation is involved, usually display some degree of neurological damage. But Mrs. Monroe's mental faculties seem to be in remarkably good shape, at least so far as our testing could determine."

He won't tell us anything else, so we head back out to the cars and go back to the B'and 'B. Everyone stumbles inside, and the girls are there waiting in the living room, basically flinging themselves on the guys, which nearly takes Jinxx and CC to the floor.

We all manage to get up to our rooms, and I think for a second about taking a shower, but I don't want to risk falling asleep under running water, so I decide to wait until I wake up. I turn on the radio as I peel off my clothes, and my brain is still replaying my last sight of Rachel like a continuous loop. She talked to her mom and Sawyer, and seemed to be arguing with them before she took her body back, like they were asking her to do something she didn't want to do. Since I heard her say that they were "free to go", I have to wonder if that's what they were arguing about. The thought that she might not have actually wanted to come back makes my chest tighten up, and the realization that she probably still thinks that I don't trust her, and that I was just using her, causes my stomach to do backflips.

How the fuck am I such a complete and total idiot? I had a chance with a sweet, intelligent, generous girl, who's also one of the most beautiful women I've ever laid eyes on, and I let my own paranoid stupidity ruin everything, and hurt her when she never deserved it.

And just as I'm ready to fall into bed, the volume on the radio surges up, and the words of the song that's playing freeze me in place:

"I'm here without you, baby,
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you, baby,
And I dream about you all the time."

This hits entirely too close to home, and I never make it to the bed, I just sink to the floor next to it, bury my face in the mattress, and sob like a lost little kid. I don't know how long it goes on, but at some point, I feel somebody lifting me off of the floor and putting me into bed. Then I hear Blasko's voice ask, "You gonna be all right now, Ash?"

"If you want the truth, I'm not sure if I'll ever really be okay again," I tell him. "At least not for awhile, anyway. Y'see, man, I'm such a complete idiot that I may have fucked up my entire life. And that's gonna be a little hard to recover from. So no, I don't think I am."

Notes