Trust Issues (ON HOLD bc I have school)

We got back to Kashmir's pretty late and went to bed. I had one thing I needed to do before I went to sleep though. I grabbed a pair of shorts and wrapped them around my razor blade as I quickly went to the bathroom and shut and locked the door. I sat the shorts aside so I could actually change into them before I went to sleep. I closed my eyes and quietly played Knives and Pens with my phone as I drug the blade across my skin. Blood welled out of the wound and I wiped it off. I made two more cuts before cleaning the blade and changing into the shorts. I pulled on a hoodie to hide the cuts and fell asleep on the couch listening to 'Lost it All'. I was woken up by cold water trickling down my face. "Damn it, Kashmir! Why the fuck would you pour water on me?" I yelled but my voice cracked several times causing her to laugh even harder than she already was. "Get up so we aren't late you sleepy head!" She laughed. I groaned and stood up. "Fuck off." I told her playfully as I grabbed some clothes and headed towards the bathroom. "I love you too, Ivey!" Kashmir called after me as I shut the door. I quickly put on a Black Veil Brides shirts with a Black Veil Brides hoodie over it to cover my wounds. I threw on some black skinny jeans and my black high top converse. I fixed my makeup and hair and then we started the drive back to Warped for the next shows. Once we got there I told Kashmir about the passes Ashley had given me and she gave me this look that said 'Why would he give us these and why do you have his number'. I rolled my eyes. "Ooohhh! Ashley has a crussshhhh.....!" She said rather loudly and I smacked her arm playfully. "Who do I have a crush on?" Said a familiar voice. I turned around to see Ashley. Kashmir looked like she was going to faint and she was drooling slightly. I elbowed her. "Kaz... You're drooling." I whispered out of the corner of my mouth. Ashley laughed. "Is this who you came with, Ivey?" Ashley asked as he pulled me into a hug. I laughed. "Yeah. This is my best friend, Kashmir. But I really call her my sister." I explained and he winked at me. I heard Kashmir make some sound effect and I rolled my eyes. Ashley led us backstage so Kashmir could meet the others. As soon as I entered the room CC literally jumped on me. "CC! You are much bigger than I am! Get off me!" I gasped out between laughs. I heard him 'awww' and he got off me. I caught my breath and gave him a hug. Jinxx grabbed my wrist to pull me into a hug but he grabbed my fresh cuts and I gasped in pain. They all knew I self harmed except Kashmir. Jinxx froze. He rolled up my sleeve and looked horrified. "Ivey! Did you do this last night? You should've called Ash!" Jinxx said as he pulled my sleeve down. I sighed. "Yes I did it last night." I replied. Ashley gripped my shoulders and turned me around to face him. "You are going to tell me everything right now." He said seriously as he led me from the room to a different room that I realized must be the dressing room. We sat down and I began to explain my past and what I went through as of today. "When are you going back home?" Ashley asked. "After Warped. So tonight." I replied and my chest felt kind of constricted at the thought. Ashley sensed my tension and placed a hand on my chin to make me look up at him. "I will always be here for you. You can talk to me anytime. Even when we aren't down here." Ashley said as we gazed into eachothers eyes. I wanted to cry. "It just feels like it won't do good since you won't ever be around. I'll still feel alone. I think what I really need is a shoulder to cry on, Ashley. I sit up all night listening to Rebel Love Song and Savior because they make me feel better. I cut because I feel alone." I explained to him as I realized i was moments away from crying. He leaned closer to me and I could feel his breath on my face. "And now you do have a shoulder to cry on. You aren't in school right now are you?" Ashley asked me. "No. Why?" I replied in confusion. "Why don't we let your aunt get to know Ella and Juliet and then she'll let you come to LA with us for the summer. She won't have to know wether your staying with them or whoever of us. From what you've told me she should be cool after getting to know them." Ashley told me confidently. I agreed and he told me i could meet Ella and Juliet later before I left.

Notes

Hope this chapter is pretty good. I think imma update again in a minute because I'm bored af. Love y'all -Vale