Love Me Till It Hurts

Alcohol doesn't help me to have clear ideas, and at first I honestly think of a hallucination. But when I try to analyze each part of his face to allow my head to analyze the multitude of information available to me. Those blue eyes, those black hair, those piercings ... no doubt to have. It's him. How not to recognize someone who has spent years decorating the walls of my own room? Andy still has his hand extended towards me and his worried eyes resting on me. I seize it with force, not breaking the eye contact, and raises me not without a slight dizziness that I put on the account of my drunkenness.

- Are you OK ?

I take some time to realize that he just asked me a question. Am I dreaming or Andy Biersack is really worried about me?

- Oh, uh ... Yes I'm fine

I stammer more than I really speak. I feel completely stupid in front of him. Andy is quickly caught by another man, whom I identify as CC, the drummer of the band. My eyes widen a little more in front of this other observation. The band seems to be walking quietly in the streets of Paris, as if nothing had happened. I take a quick look at the people who are a little further away and recognize the other members of the Black Veil Brides. There is Jake, accompanied by Roxanne, Ashley and Jinxx who holds Chloë by the hand. The latter seems to have recognized me and whisper something in the ear of her boyfriend. They were all there, in front of me, I can't believe it. My mind swirls at a fast pace, almost nauseating. As I get lost in the confusion of my thoughts, I find that Andy still has his gaze on me, which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. CC speaks.

- What's up girls! Mr. Biersack brings out to you his little number or what?

I am interrupted in my thoughts by this remark at once amusing and unflattering.

- Shut up man! I just wanted to make sure she was fine!
- It's okay, thank you.
- Apparently Chloë has seen them before, they're auditioning for us tomorrow. Said CC to Andy, as if we weren't there.

No sound can come out of my mouth. And I notice that neither Carole nor Avril will be able to said something too jugging by their stunned heads.

- And where did you go like that? Ashley asks us with the most macho man voice you can imagine.
- We were going back to our hotel.

My answer immediately earns me killer glances from my two friends.

- All right, go home safe girls and watch out for yourself. He launches before joining the rest of the band.

And here it is, it will teach me to always want to tell the truth.

- I see you tomorrow then, if I understood well.

Andy speaks as if he's just talking to me. I feel that I blush and it make me uncomfortable. I don't answer him. He walks away, giving me one last look. I try to sort out in my head. Too much information is jostling at the same time. I feel like I'm missing something, but I'm not sure what. They disappear from our field of vision.

- So that ... It was downright unreal ... Said Avril, stunned.
- And you "We were returning to our hotel"! Amy! He was clearly about to invite us to join them! Carole exclaims shaking me by the shoulders.
- Sorry ... His question caught me off guard!
- Maybe we should follow them and tell them we've changed our minds?

She is seeking approval from us.

- It's not a good idea ...
- Avril! Wake up! Where did your adoration for Jake went?
- Amy is right, it's not a good idea! We aren't groupies! Look how Ashley was keen! He clearly had an idea behind his head!
- So what ! We are grown up girls as I know!
- Carole!

Avril and I shouted her name in unison, which brings her back to reason.

- Good as you want! But Amy, you clearly missed the opportunity to fuck Andy Biersack, excuse me tell you!
- Nonsense !
- Yes you're right, you can sleep with him tomorrow!

I can't help but laugh at the falsely casual tone she uses. I take support between my two friends and we leave zigzagging to our place of accommodation.

After two attempts to type the hotel's entrance code, we arrive at the room which we share . Carole repeatedly apologizes to a green plant she jostled in the hallway, causing us to giggle uncontrollably. So that Ellie, who is in the next room, is pointing out. She quickly notices the state in which we are and crosses her arms as if to show us her dissatisfaction. Carole is quick to tell her about our atypical meeting and she's stunned. And of course she doesn't forget to omit her the theory that Andy only had his eyes glue to me.

- He's not a difficult man then! Said Ellie with a laugh, inviting me to look at myself in a mirror.

I have my hair all ruffled, my mascara has run a little under my eyelids and my eyes are bright and bloodshot.

- Scarry !

I can only confirm the fact that indeed I have a frightful look.

- I hope you have the ideas clear for tomorrow! Ellie underline to conclude our conversation.

I hate when she thinks she's more adult than I do. But for once, she's probably right.

- Yes, don't worry.

I kiss her on the cheek and join the other two in the room. Carole is already slumped on the bunk bed without taking the time to take off her clothes and starts snoring. Fortunately I thought to bring earplugs. Even though I know I will have trouble falling asleep after this emotional end of the night. But contrary to what I thought, I end up letting myself go into a sleep punctuated with images where I meet a charming young man with long black hair and bright blue eyes.

Notes