I got up from the couch and went into my room at the back of the bus, knowing that Ashley would follow me. And In fact, I was right, as soon as I close the door I hear a knock, I open it and see Ashley.
“Come in; I say; But let’s keep the door open.
- I am sorry for what happened.
- Ashley you don’t have to, we were both pretty conscious about what happened, I don’t regret anything.
- Yeah me neither, but it’s just that um.. I never felt that kind of feeling with a person before.
- What feeling Ashley? You’ve slept with a few girls already, and I mean I am 18 and most probably not the hottest girl you’ve seen.
- No but it’s not about that this time.” I’ve never seen Ashley this soft before, in real life he is the most caring person but his love for bimbos makes him appear kinda ‘tough’, he has something new in his eyes. We stay in this awkward silence for quite some time.
“I think that what we are feeling is not right Ash, it can’t be; I break this silence.
- Well you tell me pretty face.” We start giggling. I’m not sure if I want to fall for him or not, I mean it’s clearly happening, I know it but maybe I could hide it. I largely like it better when we simply laugh together. Andy is joining us into the room.
“What’s happening in there kids? He starts.
- Kids? Well look at you Andy; Ahs’ replies.
- We were talking about how handsome you are.” I tease Andy; At the same time Jake comes out of the bathroom.
“Wow I’ve never seen this many people in this one room; He jokes.
- Yeah and it’s never going to happen again, everybody get out!” I end the conversation there. I think I figured it all out, for now at least, let’s just go around this tour like this. They all get out leaving me alone, feeling good about myself for the first time in ages. I think I can do this and build my life over again, without my mom this time.

The day passes by, it’s a pretty nice day, tomorrow is the first show and rehearsals, I already planned an outfit for this because I wanna be looking good in the middle of these 5 boys.
Andy ordered some pizzas for us to eat, we sit down on the couches and talk about the upcoming show.
“So, what are you guys planning on wearing for tomorrow night? I first asked;
- The same as usual, all black and tons of makeup. Jinxx answered;
- Ok, sounds good to me. And um are you going to do the same makeup always? Because that would be cool, people would recognize you instantly. I added;
- Yeah that’s a good idea, I’ll have to admit that we never did one makeup twice. Jake replied;
- I could help you out guys, I love makeup and I am kinda good at it. I said;
- Finally our makeup is going to look like something!” CC laughed. We finished eating and all went on doing our own thing, I decided to take a shower. When the boiling water touched my skin I realized I didn’t showered yesterday, too occupied thinking about my mother. I took a long steamy shower, I need to take care of myself a little bit more, I shaved my legs, armpits and down there, got out of the shower and decided to cut my hair a little shorter. They are about shoulder length right now and I decide to cut them right under my ears, I have natural black hair which I am grateful for, because I would’ve dyed them black anyways.
I go out of the small bathroom and notice that everyone is in their bunk bed, I probably took too much time showering. I go to my “little paradise”, put on my earphones and listen to Paramore’s album, Riot.
My music is low enough to hear that someone knocked on my door: “Come in.” Ashley enters: “I know that you didn’t expect me but I don’t want to be alone tonight and I would’ve invited you in my bunk but it’s quite small, I’m just coming for a chat.
- Yeah sure! I’m down for a sleepless night anyways.” He sits down in front of me, compliments my new haircut,and we start talking about the show, about our past, future, present and soon it’s already 7am. We really talked all night long and it was great, I love learning new things about people close to me, it feels like you’ll never know everything even if you already know a lot.
Of course we are the first in the ‘living room’ for breakfast, Andy is kind of surprised when he wakes up, Ashley tends to be the last one to wake up everyday, so seeing him up at 8 am is pretty shocking. Andy notices my haircut too and says that it’s fitting my personality a little more, he seems to like it.
Today is the big day, I can feel the stressed atmosphere that is going on around the bus, they are not usually very stressed out when it comes to show, but the first day of tour is always a bit overwhelming. I can’t wait to see them perform again.

It is now 7pm and the boys are getting ready for the show, I gave them a little makeup lesson so they can start to have a true personality on stage. I decide to leave the dressing room for a second, I think I need a cigarette, I go out through the back door of the building, get my pack out and light up my cigarette. I notice a black figure going towards me, he gets closer and I recognize him immediately: that’s Anthony.

“Hey what are you doing here? How did you find m-” He cuts my sentence by punching me in the stomach.

Notes

I don't have a lot to say about this, just thanks for the 700 views, it goes right to my heart