Consume Me

Going back to the bus I started to free my mind a little more, I need to stop my anxiety from growing on me and my mood at all costs. Everyone is in a really happy mood, I love to see them like that, this overwhelming joyful situation is probably going to go back down after a few days.
Hanging out with 5 guys is not the easiest, chatting makeup and clothes with them is not quite easy, their fashion sense is not the best, I pick most of their stage outfits. As soon as we open the bus door Marilyn jumps everywhere, the cutest little baby pug I have ever seen in my life. My mom would never let me have any pets at home. Oh there she goes haunting my head again... I thought I had forgotten her.
The first show is after tomorrow, we are all thinking about it but Ashley seems very much distant lately, very lost in his thoughts, I don't know he really is somewhere else. Maybe I could talk to him about it. Later. I need some time to myself.
I am glad that there is a room at the back of the bus, I made it my place, where I stored all of my stuff and where I can chill as much as I want, and all the boys knows that this is MY place and they are not allowed in it, I love my boys but I need my time too. This place is pretty spacious and extra comfy, filled with couches, I made my bed here, so I could leave the rest of the bus the other. I heard Marilyn scratching at my door so I let her in, I can’t wait to see her grow up, she is going to be the prettiest pug. It’s crazy how much I fell in love with her.


It is now 6pm and decide that it’s probably the right time if I wanna talk to Ash’, I walk out of my room and he is sitting in his bunk bed, playing with his phone.
“Talking to someone ? I ask.
- Yeah my mom wanted to know where we were so far, nothing important.
- I never knew you called your mom ‘Sexy Blondie’ on your phone.
- Well maybe that’s not my mom.
- Haha I knew it! So you got a new girl huh?
- I don’t, it’s a girl I used to see but I don’t really like her. Attitude as big as her tits, non-existant brain.
- Sounds like every girl you invited in your bed.
- Hey how rude!
- Yeah but tell me it’s not true!
- Well at least I don’t have to think when I spend time with them.
- I got you. So what’s on your mind? You’ve been thinking a lot.
- How do you know?
- Your face says it all.
- Oh so now you’re watching me?
- I-I’m not! It’s just that you seem pretty distant you know..” He made me blush on that one.
“Well I dunno you tell me what’s wrong with me. He replied
- Well nothing then.
- Great.
- You don’t have to be a douche with me.
- I am not being a douche pretty face.
- Ok bye then, see ya.”
He called me pretty face. That was an awkward conversation but I feel kinda weird, there is something going on and I cant figure it out. And I mean, something going on between the both of us, I feel something too.
I’ll have to admit that Ashley is pretty charming, maybe I do care about this little smile that makes every girl scream and act kinda crazy. It feels like I never noticed that smile before, or the effect that it does on me now is different. I go back to the back of the bus feeling the weirdest, he made me loose all of my words after all. Ok I want to erase these thoughts from my mind now. Please, please stop thinking about that. I sit on the floor and put both my hands on my ears, close my eyes and try my hardest to think about something else.
And there she goes again.
Hi mom, missed you.
At the same time Andy enters the room.
“Andy I told you to knock befo-
-Lena, it’s your mom. Something happened.”
My world is falling apart.

Notes

Hello! I am so sorry I completely stopped posting chapters but I needed to figure a lot of shit for my life, but here i am again, and pretty inspired too!