The Cost Of Winning

ASHLEY'S POV :

I'm ready to climb the fucking wall waiting for Ryan to get here , I don't think I've stopped moving since we got here .

"Ash , why don't you sit down ?" , Juliet asks . "You're gonna wear a groove in the floor ."

"How the hell am I supposed to sit ? You can't possibly think that I'm just gonna kick back and relax after what just happened !"

"No , I don't think that , but I also don't think you're gonna have a very productive talk with Ryan if you don't calm down a little bit ." , she calmly replies .

I open my mouth to say something , then close it again when I realize that she's right . No matter how I feel right now , I can't lose it when he gets here , not if I want to have a chance in hell of getting him to help me deal with Fianna and Miki .

I stop pacing and force myself to stand still and take a few deep breaths , and Andy walks over and puts his hand on my shoulder . "Dude , chill out , we'll get this figured out ."

"How the hell do you figure , man ? Be honest with me , does this make any fucking sense to you ?" , I ask .

"Being totally honest , yes , and no ."

I look at him , waiting for him to explain what the hell he means , and he says , " Yes , because the way things were going between the two of you that last couple of months , we were actually kind of surprised she stayed as long as she did . And no , because I personally can't imagine how I'd feel if I were in your place . Even if she didn't want to deal with you anymore , I would've expected her to let you know something , if only to get child support ."

The doorbell rings , and Juliet goes over to open it , letting Ryan in . Things must've been less than pleasant after we left , because he looks about as wired as I feel .

"So did you manage to talk my bitch of an ex into giving me a chance to know my kid ?" , I ask him .

I'm actually surprised when he stops , glares at me , and says , "If this is how you plan on this conversation going , Purdy , it's already done ." He then turns around and starts heading back toward the door .

"Whoa , man what the fuck does THAT mean ? I thought we were gonna discuss this !" , I ask incredulously .

" If you want to talk about anything , then you'd better start being a bit more careful with your choice of words . You know that I'm an only child , like you , and 'Kaela grew up with four brothers , so Fianna is the closest thing to a sister that either of us have . She's given up everything she wanted to do with her life , and busts her ass to be a good mom to that baby , so throwing around insults isn't going to incline me to do shit for you !"

Andy and Jules look as surprised as I am , but I take a couple more breaths , and say , "OK , if that's what you want , no more insults . I never meant to imply that she wasn't a good mother , but can you not understand that it pisses me off that she just cut me out of my kids life without ever giving me a chance ? Hell , if we hadn't run into each other , I'd probably never know I even HAVE a kid !"

"It would be a little easier to understand if your first response hadn't been , 'Well , congratulations , Fi , who's the lucky baby daddy ?' Or are you going to deny that those were your words ?" , he inquires .

"No , I'm not , it was probably something like that , but I thought that she was just yanking my chain , she was pretty pissed at me that night ." , I acknowledge .

"Yes , of course , because that's the first thing that would cross ANYONE'S mind when the girl they've been fucking for the better part of a year says she's pregnant ." , he responds , the sarcasm in his voice heavy enough to sink a battleship .

When he says this , I realize for the first time how bad that might actually sound to someone who didn't know the whole story , and now I'm actually a bit worried . Does this mean he's not gonna help me ?

"So where does that put us , Ryan ? Am I going to get to see my daughter or not ? Is Fianna going to finally be reasonable ?" , I ask .

"From what I understand from her and 'Kaela , there seems to be some concern about your reliability , Ash . Apparently , she doesn't want to have to explain to Brenna why you're suddenly in her life , and then have you lose interest and bail ."

"You CANNOT be fucking serious , Ryan ! That's crap , and you know it !" , I yell in frustration .

"I guess it seems reasonable to her , since that's apparently what happened with your relationship ." , he says . " Or at least that's how she feels . I can see that you really want this , man , but the girls aren't sure . I'll try to get them to think about it some more , if I can do it without getting myself put in a body - cast , or un - engaged , but I can't make any guarantees ."

I can see that I'm not gonna have much luck this way , Ryan's in kind of a tight spot , and even under these circumstances , I'd feel kind of bad about putting him in a position where he might lose the girl he wants to marry . So I'm just going to have to take care of this myself .

"If you can do anything , I'd be really grateful ." , I tell him . "But don't put yourself in a bad spot with your chick , I don't want to be responsible for that , even if she does hate my guts ."

"Like I said , she thinks of Fianna as her little sister , so she doesn't like to see her get hurt ."

We talk for another couple of minutes , then he says that he'll call me if he comes up with anything , and leaves .

As soon as I see his car pull out of the driveway , I pick up my phone and start scrolling through my contacts .

"What are you up to , Ash , who are you calling ?", Andy asks .

As I find the number I want , I turn to him and say , " He's not going to get anywhere with them , but if she thinks she's going to get away with keeping me away from my kid , she'd damn well better think again !"

I push the button , and listen to the phone ring . As it's picked up on the other end , I say , "Hey , Dina , it's Ash . I have a bit of a legal issue , and I was wondering if you might know someone around here who might be able to help me out ?"

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