The Cost Of Winning

ASHLEY'S POV :

As I dash down the hall , I see Bren standing in the doorway , practically running in place , her little face covered with tears . I crouch down in front of her , and say , "What's wrong , sweetie ? Do you feel bad ?"

Shaking her head almost violently , she says , "Me was seepin' , and a big fump woked me . Me wooks for Mommy , and her nots here , so I goes to finded her , and her seepin' in the bafwoom and her won't woked up !"

I get back up and practically break the world land - speed record sprinting into my guest room , and through the bathroom door I see Fianna slumped on the floor , practically curled into a ball between the toilet and the sink . Dashing into the room , I drop down on my knees next to her , and I'm shocked to realize that I can feel heat radiating off of her like a furnace .

Grabbing my phone out of my pocket , I punch the numbers on the screen , and hear , "911 . Please state the nature of your emergency ."

"Yeah , I need an ambulance right away ! My girlfriend is unconscious on the floor , and she's burning up ."

"Can you give me the address , sir , so I can dispatch the paramedics ?"

I give her my address , and answer a few questions , then I feel Bren clutching my arm . I look at her standing there , her eyes huge , and I realize that I'm going to need someone to help me watch her .

"Sweetie , I need you to do something important for me , so we can help Mommy . Can you go get Mommy's phone and bring it to me , please ?"

She lets go of my arm and runs across the room to pick up Fi's phone from the nightstand , bringing it back to me . "Here , Daddy ." , she says .

I take the phone and pull up her contacts . My first instinct is to call Miki , but then I remember that she's pregnant , and I don't want to scare her , so I hit the button that says "Web", and hand the phone to Brenna .

"I just called Mr . Web , and I need you to talk to him , and tell him what happened . Can you do that for me , cutie ?" , I tell her , and she takes the phone from me .

"I talks to him , Daddy . Me want's to help , too ."

I resume talking to the 911 dispatcher , and after a few seconds , I hear Bren starting to talk . "It Bwen , Unca Webby . Mommy no can talk on hers phone . Her falls down and goes to seepin' in the fwoor , and Daddy telled me to talks to yous ."

"Him talks on he's phone to the hopsickle peoples , so they wills comes to woked Mommy ." She pauses for several seconds , then says , "Otay , Unca Webby ."

She holds the phone next to my head , and tells me , "Unca Webby wants to talk to yous ear , Daddy ."

I give a light cough , so he'll know I'm here , and he says , "Okay , Ashley , here's what you want to do . When the ambulance arrives , tell them you want to go to Memorial . Linda Wesson is their chief of staff , and she's an old friend of ours . Pauline is calling her right now to tell her to expect you . I'll call Mikaela as soon as I hang up , and we'll catch up with you there , all right ?"

I nod , and Bren takes the phone back . "Daddy's head says yes , Unca Webby . Otay , byebye ."

She hands the phone back to me , and I end the call , then gather her into my free arm and give her a squeeze , then say , "Okay , sweetie , I need you to be a big girl for just a couple more minutes , okay ? Can you go get your pajamas , and Pickle , because we might have to take a nap at the hospital later ."

"Me is wearin' mines jammies , Daddy . See ."

"Okay , then go get some regular clothes to put on later , please ."

She reluctantly lets go of me , and goes to her dresser , just as the doorbell rings . I bolt down the hall to the living room , and let the EMT's in , leading them to Fianna . Bren is standing next to her , with Pickle in one hand , and some clothes in the other , and I scoop her up in my arms as the paramedics check Fi , and get her onto the stretcher .

Remembering what Web said , I tell them , "We want to go to Memorial . Her doctor's already been called , and she's waiting for us there ."

"Not a problem , sir . Now , I need you to tell me , does she take any sort of medications ?"

"Yeah , she just had surgery a couple of weeks ago , she gave our daughter part of her liver . They're over there on the nightstand ." , I reply .

The female EMT goes over , grabs the bottles , and says , "One's an antibiotic , no issue there , and the pain pills look like they've barely been touched , so she didn't OD ."

Bren and I follow them outside , and I lock the door , then climb into the back with Fianna . As we pull out , I hear the guy on the radio , talking to somebody , and he says . "Bringing in a twenty - two year old female . Unconscious , temperature one hundred five point three degrees . Liver transplant surgery within the last two weeks , patient was the donor ."

One hundred and five ?! Holy fuck , no wonder she was so damn hot ! As I look at her , I see her eyes flutter open , but they're not really focused . I brush her hair out of her face , and say , "We're taking you to the hospital , hon . They'll get this fixed up , and then you can come back home with us ."

She blinks at me , and says , "Don't go , Mama , I don't want to stay by myself . I promise I'll be good ." Holy shit , her fever's so high she's delirious . Could this possibly get any worse ?

Apparently , this was entirely the wrong thought to have , because her eyes close again , and she starts jerking around on the stretcher . The guy with us pops up from his seat , and starts grabbing at the straps , yelling at the woman , "Step on it , Jamie , she's seizing !"

Bren bursts into tears as he straps Fianna to the stretcher , and I cuddle her to my chest and try to force myself to stay calm , even though I want to do the same thing myself . "Is Mommy go byebye , too , Daddy ? Don't wants her to go 'way ! Mommy is my goodest fwend !"

Even though the same question is running through my own mind right now , scaring me shitless , I do my best to keep my voice from cracking when I tell her . "No , cutie , Mommy's very sick , but when we get to the hospital , the doctor will fix it , and she can come back home with us . Everything is going to be okay ." And as the words are leaving my mouth , I'm hoping with every ounce of myself that I haven't just broken my promise to my daughter , and told her the worst lie of all .

We finally get to the hospital , and they pull her out of the ambulance and zip into the ER , while I join up with Web and Pauline , who are already here , talking with a short , blonde woman about Pauline's age . She introduces herself as Dr . Wesson , and after asking me a couple of questions about what happened , she heads into the back .

We all go sit down , and a few minutes later , Miki and Ryan come rushing through the door . "What the hell happened , Ash ?" , Miki demands . "They were just laying down to rest when I left !"

I explain to all of them what happened , and tell them what I heard the EMT say in the ambulance , and they're all as stunned as I was , especially when they hear about the seizure .

"Jesus , that's bad !" , Ryan mutters , almost to himself . "What the hell would cause that ? Is she allergic to the medicines or something ?"

"If that was the problem , she would've had issues before now ." , Pauline says . "It doesn't take almost two weeks to have an allergic reaction . There has to be something else going on ."

We sit and wait for what feels like eternity , but is actually only a little over an hour , before Dr . Wesson comes back out . Strangely , the first thing out of her mouth is a question about who did Fianna's surgery . I tell her who the doctor was , and she says . "This might be something you'll actually want to get involved in , Web . We're prepping Ms . Chandler for surgery right now , because the idiot who performed her original operation left a surgical sponge in the incision , and she's developed a massive infection . So we're going to go in and drain it , and make sure it hasn't caused any other damage . Did he do your daughter's surgery as well , Mr . Purdy ?"

"No , her doctor's name was Abernathy . They had two doctors so they could operate on both of them at the same time ."

"Good ." , she says , then turns her attention to Brenna . "Hello there , sweetheart . My name is Linda , what's yours ?"

"Me is Bwenna Cowween Chandwer . Where my Mommy is ?"

" I'm going to go take some bad stuff out of your Mommy in just a minute , Brenna , so she's taking a nap right now . Do you mind if I look at your tummy real quick , to see if it's okay ?"

I turn her around so the doctor can lift her shirt . After a quick inspection , she says , "No signs of infection , and she seems to be healing up well , but keep an eye out for any redness or swelling , just in case ."

She leaves to go get ready for the operation , and as I drop back into my chair , I hear Web on his phone , talking to someone named Ruth . When he ends the call , he sees us all looking at him , and he says , "That was Ruth Fernandez , she's the best malpractice attorney I know . I just explained our situation , and she's agreed to take on the case as a favor to me . I'd do it myself , but that's not really my field of expertise , and I don't want to risk giving that incompetent any loopholes to wiggle through ."

"Good , neither do I ." , I tell him . "Tell your friend that she can send the bills to me . One way or the other , that useless moron isn't getting the chance to fuck up like that again , if I have to keep him tied up in court for the rest of his natural life !"

After waiting a bit longer , Ryan convinces Miki to go to the cafeteria with him to get something to eat , and the others go along with them . I decide to stay here , and after they leave , Bren shifts in my lap , and says , "Daddy , I asts yous sumfin' ?"

"You can ask me anything , Bren . What do you want to know ?"

I'm not expecting her to ask , "Why you don'ts wike Mommy ? Her is nice ."

I can't even form words for a few seconds , but I finally manage to say , "Sweetie , I do like Mommy , very much . Why would you ask me that ?"

"Her thinks you doesn't . I hear her say to Aunt 'Kaela when her camed to sees us ."

I'm not sure I should go into this with her , but I have to know , so I ask , "What did they say , Bren ?"

"Aunt 'Kaela tells Mommy her no should fall down , and Mommy say that you's no wike her , and yous was borded , and want to move away , so her no do it , 'cause you's onwy want her to wive with us 'cause you wikes me ."

She thought I'd gotten bored with her ? There's nothing that could be further from the truth , but after looking at my journal , I guess I can see how she got that idea . When we first got together , we said "I love you" at least a dozen times a day , but when I think back , I realize that I'd stopped saying it somewhere along the way . And not only had I stopped saying it , I'd stopped showing it . I'd made her feel like she was being abandoned all over again , and it makes me feel sick .

I realize that Bren is still waiting for an answer , so I stand her on my lap , so I'm looking her in the eye , and explain , "Sweetie , before you were born , Daddy was very silly , and I did something that hurt Mommy's feelings , so maybe that's why she thinks I don't like her ."

"Din't yous sowwy her , Daddy ?" , she asks , very seriously . "Miss Kim say if yous make someone sad , yous should sowwy them , then theys know yous not a meanie , and yous can be fwends some more ."

"I didn't get the chance to tell her I was sorry , because she went away , and I didn't know where she was . I was going to tell her today , but she got sick . But I promise you , as soon as she gets better I'll tell her ."

"Am thats why yous vidorced ? 'Cause you was naughty ?'

I see Miki and the others heading back towards us , so I say , "Yes , cutie , that's why . But let's not talk about it in front of everybody else until I can talk to Mommy , okay ?"

"It ams a seekit ?"

"Just for now , until Mommy gets better , okay ?"

She nods , and sits back down on my lap , then Ryan walks over and hands her a juice box , and holds out a cup of coffee to me with his other hand . "I know you said you didn't want anything to eat , but I figured you could use some caffeine ." , he says .

I thank him , take a gulp , and then help Bren get the straw into her juice . We all sit back down to wait some more , and when Bren falls asleep , Pauline offers to take her to their house . Knowing we won 't get her out without a major tantrum if we wait 'til she wakes up , I agree , and she and Web leave with Brenna , so it's just me , Miki , and Ryan sitting here .

After probably another hour , Dr . Wesson comes out , and we all pop out of our chairs like we're spring - loaded . She walks over and says , "Ms . Chandler came through the surgey , but we're having to pump serious amounts of antibiotics into her , to be sure that we get everything out of her system . She's in recovery right now , but you should be able to see her in a couple of hours , barring any complications . But , just to let you know , she's very heavily medicated , so she may not be responsive , or even know that you're there ."

"But we'll know ." , I tell her . "And as long as she's alive , and getting better , I think we can live with that for now ."

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