After Life

I was altogether bollixed by these newly revealed aspects of (Y/N)’s appearance. I instinctively averted my eyes and made a vague gesture in an attempt to buy time to gather my scattered thoughts. It failed miserably.

“God’s teeth, what’s gotten into you? First you come racing out of the night, bellowing like some ale-soused apple john, an then your bloomin head falls right off again, an as soon as you’ve managed to pop it back on, you’re staring at me like you’ve never seen me ere…” As her voice trailed off, I steeled myself and met her troubled gaze. I opened my mouth without knowing for certain what I intended to say, but was interrupted.

She spoke slowly and her words had bite. “The way you look at me now’s changed. I recognize that look. That’s pity. I’ll have none of that!” Turning about, ripped nightdress waving wildly, she marched back towards the trees.

I panicked. Everything was going wrong (I wasn’t even sure what!), and I felt some sort of culpability, judging by the discomfort in my incorporeal midsection. Things had gone from phallic humor, to lustful perplexity, to horrifying injuries in one night! Women! Nothing but trouble!

In my moment of hysteria, I did the unthinkable, and spoke the bald truth in rapid-fire fashion. “Wait, please! You’re so beautiful, but someone laid hands on you, defiled you! What happened? Are you alright? I heard dreadful cries! Can anything even hurt us? We’re dead, it doesn’t make sense…” She stopped walking, but did not turn to face me, which only fueling my garbled babbling. “I, err, you’re interesting! I only want to talk to you more, have a real conversation! And how were you closer to me just now? Just please come back!”

There was a long pause, made thick by the sounds of the night. (Y/N) turned back to face me, “a man strangled the life right outta me, so it bloody well stands to reason that I’m not alright. It’s a bit late to play the part of the knight in shiny armor. I don’t need your pity, nor your criticism of my singin.”

Singing? That horrible ululation had been (Y/N) singing! Unable to think of anything appropriate or sensitive to say, instead I crossed my arms and blurted, “Nothing wrong with a bit of concern on my part, it sounded something awful.”

(Y/N) crossed her own arms under her ample, loosely confined bosom, and squared her shoulders. “Well I’m just as fine as I ever am. What you really mean to say’s that you want to know how I died and ended up stuck in the forest?”

At that juncture, it would have been most accurate to partially correct her, and let her know that I wanted to know all about her in general, not just her death. I was fascinated by her, consumed by all manner of thoughts and questions about her. I was so eager at the idea of someone I could finally talk to. In lieu of that, I straightened my spine to the fullest and shot her a challenging look, “Yes.” Realizing my error, I lamely added, “if you please.”

With a roll of her eyes and a barely audible, “hmph!” she walked quickly back to face me from a few strides away. Taking a seat in the grass, she pointed expectantly at the ground by my feet. Far more excited than I ever would have been willing to admit, I sat at once, the jubilation soaring through me and rendering me obedient.

She reached forward, her hand held as though she were warming it by a fire. Unsure if I was meant to reciprocate, I did the same, until my hand rested flat against the unseen barrier. (Y/N) leaned forward a bit further than I, and I couldn’t help but take note of her cleavage as it threatened to fall out of her shift. Her loud snort drew my attention back to her face, where I realized I had been caught staring. Dead or not, I could have sworn I felt fire in my cheeks.

She shook her head a bit, “you lot are all the same…” She thumped her outstretched hand against what I assumed was her own invisible wall. “See? I have a jail cell too, like you. But every year, just like today, my coop gets a tich less cramped. This is the first time I’ve been able to leave the woods since I kicked off, s’why I was able to chuck that penis stone at you earlier today. I figure you’re in the same lot with your own cage?”

Though I hadn’t felt like I was ‘caged’ in quite some time, it occurred to me that I had free rein of most of my land and a constant flow of people to amuse me. (Y/N) had been stuck in an unchanging forest, alone, for presumably quite a long time (given that she’d recognized my name). I nodded slowly as the first seed of real understanding for her circumstances began to take root. I didn’t dare interrupt, and she had that look about her like she had quite a bit to say.

Her expression softened for just a moment, showing a glimpse of something other than annoyance. “I reckon there can’t be any harm in telling you how I got killed. I mean, I know what happened to you already. Seems fair enough.”

I had to grit my teeth to keep myself from interrupting, so as to (once again) correct the inaccuracies in the version she had heard of my demise. But the tale she proceeded to tell was so awful that, perhaps for the first time, I forgot all about the injustices of my own death. For those moments, I forgot all about anything else entirely.

Notes

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