Andley: I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream
Chapter Seventeen: You Said You Loved Me As You Left Me
A small chuckle escaped at the sight of their shocked faces. "You look like you've just seen a ghost." I smiled and James nudged me.
"You're lying." The taller one, Andy I believe, responded. He sounded emotionless, factual, but the look in his eyes showed his mind was racing.
"Nope." I popped the 'p' and grinned.
"How can we believe you?" The other one, Ashley, queried. I suppose it was a fair enough question. We'd been helping hold them captive for days and then expected them to just trust us. I sighed, I knew I was going to have to tell them. Two complete strangers who I was going to have to confess everything to, to tell them a story I hated to repeat. I turned to face James, he just nodded and reached over, rubbing my shoulder reassuringly.
"OK, let me explain. I've been here a long time, a lot longer than most. I say here, but to be honest it hasn't always been the same place, just the same person." They seemed to understand, but I wasn't sure; I was going to have to be blunt about this, as hard as it would be. "Anyway, one day this guy came along. Bit porky, ginger beard and drunk more than you could imagine. His name was Danny." I laughed as I remembered my first impression of him. "At first I found him annoying. He was rude, stupid and prone to violence. I'm sure you can imagine why Jonathan liked having him around. Then one day, due to unexplained changes of circumstance, I had to share a room with him."
"At the time we were doing considerably...better that we are now," James interjected "We had a nicer place to live, to stay. Even Jonathan was nicer, really." I just nodded and continued.
"At first I hated him. He just caused trouble wherever he went, and for some reason I always ended up having to dig him out of it. But as time went by we began to...bond, I suppose. It wasn't long before Danny was my best friend, and I his. We did everything together, and we found out we were more alike than we had first thought." A sad smiled pulled at my face. "Then, one night, after getting beyond drunk, something...happened. In the morning, after we had sobered up, we realise we had feelings for each other. Neither of us could deny it anymore, but we couldn't admit it either. Jonathan would be mad. Things were going downhill here as well. We never used to be like this, Jonathan never used to be out leader, as such. It was just a group of us who had nowhere else to go. Me, Danny, James and two others had been in a band. It wasn't going too well, and these guys took us in. As time went by, Jonathan got more and more controlling, and for whatever reason we all let him. He started turning to crime, seeking revenge for even petty things. It was funny, really. He'd seemed like a relatively nice guy. Despite the violence and his rather...twisted...imagination, he'd been nice enough. That didn't last.
"Anyway, Jonathan was - is - incredibly homophobic. He would never stand to have to gays in his little group. So we decided to keep it a secret. We had a few good months, before he found out..." I hadn't realised I had been crying until I felt a warm wetness drop onto my arm. Remembering it all hurt, remembering Danny. My one and only true love, the man who I would give my everything for. I smiled weakly and continued, being careful to choose my words. "Danny was...new enough...that Jonathan could...could...dispose of him, easily." My words were becoming choked, I couldn't go on. Every time I thought of that night, the night I lost all love, hope and happiness, it made me cry. But speaking it out loud, with actual words to express my feeling; it was much worse. I looked over at James, pleading with my eyes for him to take over. I could see tears glistening in his eyes, close to falling over, but he stayed strong.
"But Ben. Ben knew too much, and he was too valuable to Jonathan. He couldn't kill him and he definitely couldn't let him go. So he decided Ben's punishment was to, to watch it. To watch Danny's, Danny's...departure." I could see it all, like I was back there again. It was the reason I had wished to die, the cause of numerous sleepless nights and haunted days. The sight of Danny down on his knees, his eyes glistening with tears, not quite hazel, not quite blue. A small smile pulled at his face. Not a genuine one, though. A knife held firmly against his neck, blood already beginning to pour. I love you. He whispered his last words as Jonathan put pressure to the knife, my screams filling the air as I was forced to watch, forced to remain standing, held there by Jonathans workers. Blood covering the ground, Danny's lifeless body, Jonathan's evil smirk, my screams and cries echoing around the empty alleyway. It had all been for nothing.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, holding me tightly. I expected to see James, but instead was greeted by Ashley who held me as I wept. Andy joined him, and James, as I just cried and cried. I'd promised myself I wouldn't break down, but it was too late. The tears gradually faded as I managed to push the memories to the back of my mind. It was the only way I'd been able to get through this, to ignore the heartache and loss. I pulled away from the others.
"It's been a year since, well, you know," I mumbled, the others rearranging their positions to face me better. "and for some reason, throughout that time I found myself constantly questioning what we were doing. Not that I hadn't before, just that it affected me more. I forced myself to carry on, knowing it would end badly if I disobeyed Jonathan. I didn't care if he killed me, and he knew that. I knew he would hurt others instead, and I couldn't stand that. But now, seeing you two there, seeing what you've got and remembering what I've lost. I can't do this, not anymore. I spoke to the others about it. Sam and Cameron - our other two best friends - they were, less keen. Not that they didn't care, but they were too scared, I s'pose. James, however, was in. He'd always been the most, skeptical, about Jonathan." A small smile pulled at James' lips. "So we decided enough was enough, and so we formed a plan. We're getting you out of here, and we're making sure Jonathon pays. For good."
Andy and Ashley just nodded slowly. I think they finally believed us. After a year of waiting, hurting and torment, I was finally going to get my revenge. And boy, did it feel good...
"You're lying." The taller one, Andy I believe, responded. He sounded emotionless, factual, but the look in his eyes showed his mind was racing.
"Nope." I popped the 'p' and grinned.
"How can we believe you?" The other one, Ashley, queried. I suppose it was a fair enough question. We'd been helping hold them captive for days and then expected them to just trust us. I sighed, I knew I was going to have to tell them. Two complete strangers who I was going to have to confess everything to, to tell them a story I hated to repeat. I turned to face James, he just nodded and reached over, rubbing my shoulder reassuringly.
"OK, let me explain. I've been here a long time, a lot longer than most. I say here, but to be honest it hasn't always been the same place, just the same person." They seemed to understand, but I wasn't sure; I was going to have to be blunt about this, as hard as it would be. "Anyway, one day this guy came along. Bit porky, ginger beard and drunk more than you could imagine. His name was Danny." I laughed as I remembered my first impression of him. "At first I found him annoying. He was rude, stupid and prone to violence. I'm sure you can imagine why Jonathan liked having him around. Then one day, due to unexplained changes of circumstance, I had to share a room with him."
"At the time we were doing considerably...better that we are now," James interjected "We had a nicer place to live, to stay. Even Jonathan was nicer, really." I just nodded and continued.
"At first I hated him. He just caused trouble wherever he went, and for some reason I always ended up having to dig him out of it. But as time went by we began to...bond, I suppose. It wasn't long before Danny was my best friend, and I his. We did everything together, and we found out we were more alike than we had first thought." A sad smiled pulled at my face. "Then, one night, after getting beyond drunk, something...happened. In the morning, after we had sobered up, we realise we had feelings for each other. Neither of us could deny it anymore, but we couldn't admit it either. Jonathan would be mad. Things were going downhill here as well. We never used to be like this, Jonathan never used to be out leader, as such. It was just a group of us who had nowhere else to go. Me, Danny, James and two others had been in a band. It wasn't going too well, and these guys took us in. As time went by, Jonathan got more and more controlling, and for whatever reason we all let him. He started turning to crime, seeking revenge for even petty things. It was funny, really. He'd seemed like a relatively nice guy. Despite the violence and his rather...twisted...imagination, he'd been nice enough. That didn't last.
"Anyway, Jonathan was - is - incredibly homophobic. He would never stand to have to gays in his little group. So we decided to keep it a secret. We had a few good months, before he found out..." I hadn't realised I had been crying until I felt a warm wetness drop onto my arm. Remembering it all hurt, remembering Danny. My one and only true love, the man who I would give my everything for. I smiled weakly and continued, being careful to choose my words. "Danny was...new enough...that Jonathan could...could...dispose of him, easily." My words were becoming choked, I couldn't go on. Every time I thought of that night, the night I lost all love, hope and happiness, it made me cry. But speaking it out loud, with actual words to express my feeling; it was much worse. I looked over at James, pleading with my eyes for him to take over. I could see tears glistening in his eyes, close to falling over, but he stayed strong.
"But Ben. Ben knew too much, and he was too valuable to Jonathan. He couldn't kill him and he definitely couldn't let him go. So he decided Ben's punishment was to, to watch it. To watch Danny's, Danny's...departure." I could see it all, like I was back there again. It was the reason I had wished to die, the cause of numerous sleepless nights and haunted days. The sight of Danny down on his knees, his eyes glistening with tears, not quite hazel, not quite blue. A small smile pulled at his face. Not a genuine one, though. A knife held firmly against his neck, blood already beginning to pour. I love you. He whispered his last words as Jonathan put pressure to the knife, my screams filling the air as I was forced to watch, forced to remain standing, held there by Jonathans workers. Blood covering the ground, Danny's lifeless body, Jonathan's evil smirk, my screams and cries echoing around the empty alleyway. It had all been for nothing.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, holding me tightly. I expected to see James, but instead was greeted by Ashley who held me as I wept. Andy joined him, and James, as I just cried and cried. I'd promised myself I wouldn't break down, but it was too late. The tears gradually faded as I managed to push the memories to the back of my mind. It was the only way I'd been able to get through this, to ignore the heartache and loss. I pulled away from the others.
"It's been a year since, well, you know," I mumbled, the others rearranging their positions to face me better. "and for some reason, throughout that time I found myself constantly questioning what we were doing. Not that I hadn't before, just that it affected me more. I forced myself to carry on, knowing it would end badly if I disobeyed Jonathan. I didn't care if he killed me, and he knew that. I knew he would hurt others instead, and I couldn't stand that. But now, seeing you two there, seeing what you've got and remembering what I've lost. I can't do this, not anymore. I spoke to the others about it. Sam and Cameron - our other two best friends - they were, less keen. Not that they didn't care, but they were too scared, I s'pose. James, however, was in. He'd always been the most, skeptical, about Jonathan." A small smile pulled at James' lips. "So we decided enough was enough, and so we formed a plan. We're getting you out of here, and we're making sure Jonathon pays. For good."
Andy and Ashley just nodded slowly. I think they finally believed us. After a year of waiting, hurting and torment, I was finally going to get my revenge. And boy, did it feel good...
Notes
Title: Lyrics from Black Veil Brides - The Mortician's Daughter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGIyj3BmqoQ)Yeah, I know the title is cheesy but it fits so:P Sorry it's a sad one, there'll be more action and ninja-awesomeness in the next chapter, I promise:3
I love this story! :D
4/1/15