I don't know how long we were there for, it could have been minutes, hours or even days. All I know is Ashley was broken, lying in my arms, crying and crying, a complete wreck. He couldn't handle this. Not that I could, I just hid it; I had to stay strong for Ash. How did we even get ourselves into this? This was the sort of thing that happened in soap opera's, the stories where no-one could just live a normal life and be happy. Sure, my life hadn't been normal, but it was happy. And I finally found Ashes, the love of my life. Everything was just so perfect, and now this. I shouldn't be surprised, really. Since when did I deserve happiness? So much good had been in my life lately, this was bound to happen just to even things out.
But what about Ashley? My outlaw, he didn't deserve any of this. He deserve to be protected and kept safe from any and all harm. He deserved to be happy. Clearly being with me had only caused him pain. Loving him is the most selfish thing I've ever done. But that doesn't stop me doing it. I loved him way too much to lose him! We would fight through this together. We would stay strong, we would make it out of here one way or another. I didn't care what anyone else thought of us, I didn't even care about the CC ordeal. Ashley had wanted to tell the fans, but I'd been less enthusiastic. But right now, I didn't care anymore. All the silly problems, all the tension, it wouldn't matter when we got out of here. No, not when: if. If we make it through the night, if we make it out alive.
I shouldn't be thinking like this. I should be thinking "when", I should be thinking about how we'd explain everything to the guys, I should be planning our future . But I couldn't. I used to say I never did anything without planning it 6 months in advance. I didn't even know if I had 6 months left. Did I? Would they kill us, would they really? I wanted to say "no", to reassure myself it was mainly bluff, but I couldn't. I knew Jonathan too well. He wasn't one for mercy. Never had been, never will be...

~FLASHBACK TO HIGH SCHOOL~

"Aww, look guys! Ballsack is on his own again! Aww poor Andrea, all alone. Boo hoo hoo!!" His taunting voice ran in my ear, the upper-class accent seeping through. He had grown up in a rich, posh family and tried to hide it. He didn't do it very well, he could never keep to one accent. Everyone knew, but no-one would dare say anything. "Oi! Ballsack, I'm talking to you!" The voice behind me repeated. I just ignored him. No matter how much he teased me, insulted me and bullied me I wasn't going to rise to it. "OI!" He yelled and pushed me forwards. I tripped and fell to the side, whacking against the lockers. Damn it hurt, but I couldn't let it show. I just got up and carried on walking. "LOOK AT ME YOU FAGGOT!" He screamed as I walked away. Two of his crew stepped into my path, I couldn't get away. Not again...
I turned slowly to face him. "Please, Jonathan, just let me go..." I knew it was pathetic, he'd never listen; he never did. Laughter erupted down the hallway, more people joining in. Cries of "faggot", "emo", "gay-boy", "freak" and "worthless" echoed through my mind. I fought back tears as best I could, but I felt a trickle poor down my face.
"Aww, baby's crying guys! Maybe this'll make you feel better, baby!" And he punched me square in the face, his bone-head jocks joining in with the laughter and the punched. They hit every inch of my body which was already bruised black and blue. Kicking me in the stomach, pulling my hair, pushing me into the walls and into each other. I felt blood drip from my nose and tasted it on my lips. I screamed and cried but they wouldn't stop. Jonathan pushed me then, hard enough I fell straight over on the floor. Everyone else cleared away and he walked towards me. I stared into his eyes. Most of the others who beat me, they looked either hateful or pitiful. Some even looked sorry. But not him, he just looked...emotionless. His eyes were glassed over, a dark brown that made them look almost hollow, a menacing smile pulled at his lips, revealing his sharp, pointed teeth.
"You never learn, do you Ballsack..." He sounded almost...sad? No, not him. He wasn't weak, or sorry, it would just be another weird accent. One hard kick in the stomach, a chorus of laughter and they walked away, leaving me lying there. Bleeding, crying, bruised and battered and wishing I could just die...

~FLASHBACK ENDS~


The tears were pouring freely from my eyes. Ashley was sleeping in my arms, so I didn't need to hide it any more. I let the tears seep down my cheeks, I let the small sobs escape my lips, I let the panic, the paranoia and the fear set in. I could feel my breathing fasten, I could feel a panic attack coming on. The only thing I could do was try and calm down, so I slid away from Ashes and crawled into a corner, my breathing still uneven. My body was shaking, my mind was racing and I couldn't fight it. The tears flowed down my face and for the first time in years, I really wanted to die.
After what felt like an eternity, I managed to control my breathing and shaking. The tears dried up and exhausted I fell asleep, no longer able to keep fighting. And now, I was nothing more than the broken boy I used to be...

Notes

Title: Lyrics from Bring Me The Horizon - Crucify Me (youtube.com/watch?v=hCaeBEL-wi8)
Glad you guys are enjoying this. I think I'll end this in about another 5 chapters, just to give you an idea as to how much is left. Hope you like this chapter :3