Connections

I glance at Davey sitting across the store from me, playing on my phone. With his headphones on he looks so happy just playing his game. It makes me sigh in contentment and try to focus on the person in front of me, who just asked me something about prior work experience.

These two weeks have been hectic. I spoke with Nath-- Davey about the process we would have to go through to ensure that he’d never have to see Sloane again, and he agreed. I told him it would be difficult and long, but he seemed to understand.

I told him that until I publicly came out to a judge that I had essentially kidnapped my little brother from his abusive foster parents that we would have to disguise ourselves, just in case. I made a day of it, buying bleach and hair dye and asking him what color he wanted to dye his hair; he said blue! I lightened the brown with a bleach that I mixed heavily with conditioner, so it wouldn’t hurt his scalp or damage his hair too much, and dyed it a subtle midnight blue for the summer. When he starts school in the fall I told him he’d have to change it back. So he wouldn’t have to do it alone, I lightened my naturally black hair and dyed it crimson red (his suggestion), bright enough for his taste but dark enough that it was still career-acceptable. I also trimmed his hair so it wasn’t shaggy and hanging in his face, and I cut ten inches off of mine so it hung just above my shoulders. It was a nice change, and it helped with the disguise part too.

To my surprise, it was Davey’s idea to change his name. He told me that I shouldn’t call him Nathan, since people would be looking for a kid named Nathan, and that he hated it. There was a bully at his old school named Nathan, I guess, and he hated sharing the name. When I asked him what he wanted to be called, he said Davey. I told him if he wanted to legally change it one day that we could, the same day I took full custody and could change his last name to mine. He was in love with the idea.

I had confessed my crime to one person, and it was my grandmother Clarice. Our grandma is the only person in my family that I trust and truly love. She never bailed her son out of jail for his crimes and would take me in while he served his time, until eventually when I turned fourteen she just took custody of me. My dad would come to visit, but his petty thefts and drug dealing kept him occupied most of the time.

When I told her, she was appalled at my actions but didn’t call the police or anything. She met Davey (pre-disguise) and admitted to me how similar we looked. When I tried to explain how this happened, she scolded me for digging but conceded that she was glad I had done it. She was also just amazed that she had a grandson. It took a while for Davey to warm up to her and he kept close to me for most of the visit, but when we left he hugged her. This warmed both of our hearts.

Trying to find a job in Los Angeles is either really easy or truly the worst, but fate was being kind to me with this barista interview. While my apartment is a little more expensive than what a barista’s salary could offer, my grandma said she’d help me stay afloat for a bit until I got a better job. Unfortunately, I went to school to be a producer, and being a producer in LA is like being a piece of confetti at a show; there’s thousands out there. Being a woman in the industry doesn’t help either. However, bitching about the music industry doesn’t pay my rent.

After answering a few more questions, I start to notice a group of guys talking about Davey. One of them had pointed and said “kid” loud enough for me to hear, so I kept them in my peripheral vision. While I tried to believe that most people are generally okay, they’re still looking at my little brother.

Finally, as I’m being asked about “preferred” salary, one of the guys stands up and walks over to Davey. I clench my fist and try to act focused, but Davey is probably going to get panicky and I don’t need shit on taking care of my brother. I would’ve dropped him off at his grandma’s house, but he’s been having a rough morning. I make something up about two dollars above minimum wage and try to use my goals and brother as reasons, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.

The man kneels in front of Davey, who had seen him stand across the room and watched him walk over. He’s wearing black and has visible tattoos, some peeking out behind his textured black hair along his neck, but that part doesn’t concern me. As my interviewer goes on to say they pay minimum wage here and that nobody is special, Davey points at me and I watch the dude turn on his toes to look at me.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think you’re quite the right candidate for this position,” the woman in front of me states, and with barely a thought I throw out “ ‘Kay, thanks” and stand before she can continue. I walk right over to Davey and pick him up, and the guy stands in front of me.

“Davey, are you okay?” I ask.

He nods. “Jake wanted to make sure I wasn’t by myself,” he mumbles.

I meet the guy’s gaze. He clears his throat before saying, “Sorry if I wigged you out. Davey here looked like he was by himself and my friends and I were concerned. We didn’t mean anything by it.”

I sigh and ruffle Davey’s hair, and he slides down but grabs my hand still. “It’s fine. Thank you for your concern.” I shake out my own hair. “Sorry, I was just in an interview across the room. I would’ve dropped him off at his grandma’s, but I couldn’t.” In the back of my head, I yell at myself for revealing so much information to a stranger, but I’ve always had this weirdly inherent need to explain myself.

“It’s fine. We were just making sure he was okay,” he states. After looking back at them he asks, “Get the job at least?”

My heart sinks as I remember and shake my head. “No. I can’t live on nine dollars an hour but that’s what they’re paying kids who just got out of high school. I guess I’ll have to take my producing degree and go elsewhere.”

“Producing degree? As in music producer?” he asks.

I nod, getting my phone back from Davey and clearing the trash from his piece of lemon loaf and his hot chocolate. “Yeah. Anyway, thank you for checking on Davey.” I start to turn.

“Wait,” he says, so I turn and look at him again. “Um, this is totally crazy but one of our sound technicians just got in a car crash and will be out for the remainder of our record. We actually need someone to help. Would you be willing to stop by later today to meet with our producer? See if you’re the right fit?”

My eyes widen. I can’t believe it! What an unreal chance that this could have happened. I look around the room, not being used to having opportunities falling into my lap. “Are you kidding?”

He shakes his head with a chuckle. “No, actually. I know this all sounds crazy, like fan fiction or something, but we honestly need another sound technician.”

Davey pulls at my hand, so I look at him. He gives me this look of boredom and rests his cheek on my thigh. I squeeze his hand and look back up at the dude.

“Who is your producer?” I ask.

“John Feldmann,” he answers.

No fucking way. This is truly fan fiction indeed. “No way. You’re seriously not shitting me?”

“No,” he laughs.

“What’s your band called?” I ask.

“Black Veil Brides. I’m Jake, by the way.” He extends his hand.

I shake it. “Mina. I’ve heard of your band. I wouldn’t call myself a fan, though. I think I’ve only heard one song.”

“Then do some research on your way to Foxxy Studios. We’re moving soon, but that’s where we’re at right now. I’ll text Feldy now. Can you be there around four?” he asks.

In my head I’m already coming up with what I’m going to tell Davey. “Yeah, of course.”

“Great. Then I’ll text him and let him know you’re coming. There’s a call box at the door, just buzz and ask for Feldy. What’s your name again?” He takes out his phone.

“Mina Oswald,” I answer, jittery.

“Awesome. Alright, we’ll see you at four,” he says, smiling.

“Thank you so, so much. I’ll see you then.” I smile at him before I look at Davey again, and when he’s aware that we’re done we start walking out. I throw our trash out as we do.

No way! Of all the pieces of confetti in Los Angeles I happen to fall on the shoulder of Jake, a guy in a band big enough to be recording with John fucking Feldmann! The guy is a legend! He’s produced some of the best records in the rock world and I get to meet him and possibly work for him! No fucking way this is real!

“Where are you going at four?” Davey asks.

I unlock the car and get him inside before answering. “That man just gave me another interview to go to. It’s for a job I’d actually really enjoy.”

As he slides his seatbelt on, he asks, “Am I going?”

I glance at him, biting the inside of my cheek. “No, if that’s okay,” I say gently, cranking the air up to cool the car. “This is a big opportunity, lovebug. If I get this job we won’t have to worry about money for a while. You’ll be with grandma, though, okay? You won’t be by yourself with a stranger, and I’ll come get you as soon as I’m done.”

I can see the nervousness as he squirms in his seat. I take his hand in mine and say, “You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. There’s a cord connecting our hearts, remember? I’ll be able to feel you all the way at my interview. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise.”

He looks at me for a long minute before sighing. I can tell he’s upset that I’ll be gone, but I can’t bring him to this one. I don’t really want to leave him alone either, but my grandma is very capable and strong, and I know she wouldn’t let anything happen to him.

I hold his hand the entire ride home, occasionally squeezing it and glancing over at him. He looks back at me a few times, and when I smile he tries to smile back. It breaks my heart to see him upset, but I can’t be with him every second of the day. Whatever happened with Sloane and Richard really fucked with him, but I think it’s easier knowing that he’s so far away from them and that they don’t know where to look. At least I hope it is.

When we get home, I freshen up my makeup and clothes, opting out of my skirt for a pair of black skinny jeans without holes in them. I set Davey up with my Xbox I had before him and call Grandma, who says she’ll come over and watch him at my place so that Davey isn’t in a strange house. When I tell him he seems happier. I ask what he wants for dinner tonight and promise to make it for him since I’m leaving him for a while, and he tells me spaghetti and chocolate cake.

Once our grandma gets there, I head out. I put my Spotify on in the car, listening to Black Veil Brides’ first record, the one that has that song “Knives and Pens” on it that I’ve heard before. It’s from, like, six years ago but it isn’t bad. I find myself headbanging to it as I try to make my way through the 101 North traffic to get to the studio.

I show up twenty minutes early, so I finish the record and do some reconnaissance before I go in. There’s five guys, all of them with similar looks it seems. The dude I met today’s name is Jake Pitts and he’s the lead guitarist. Apparently, they’ve worked with Feldmann before on a previous record, and they’ve even worked with Bob Rock. I nod my head in respect to another legend. From looking at the band, it seems like they haven’t stuck with one style yet and it makes me wonder what they’re really like and how they’ve changed their music from their first record.

When I’m only ten minutes out, I get out of my car and head to the door. Being early is okay, right? And he said around four, and 3:50 is around four, so. I hit the buzzer at the door and tell them my name and that I’m meeting John, and they let me in.

As I walk down the hall I feel a little boulder of nerve in my stomach. This will be a big moment for me. If I can land this job, it gets my foot in the door of the industry that I’ve wanted to be in for most of my life. I can start making money doing something that I love, and if I manage to make a name for myself Davey and I could be set! I could do much nicer things for Davey and give him the things that he wants. I can make him happy. Hell, if I start making even a little extra money from this gig I can start looking into lawyers to help with my custody case!

With a new determination, I walk right up to the door and knock before entering.

In the room I’ve entered, there’s three men strewn about on two big leather sofas who are all on their phones. There’s another one sitting straight up with a guitar in his hand in a chair, and then I see John Feldmann’s desk and his bright blonde hair. Everyone turns to look at me, and I suddenly feel like a bug under a microscope.

Jake stands up, setting his guitar down against the wall. “Hey, Mina! Glad you could make it,” he says, walking to me. As I meet the gazes of the men in the room he introduces me. “Hey, Feldy, this is the girl, Mina, I was talking about. Crazy story, right?”

While a smile is on his face, I’m still incredibly intimidated by the man walking to me. As he extends his hand and introduces himself, I find my throat constricting. I force myself to shake his hand and introduce myself.

“Are you okay?” John asks.

I nod, swallowing hard. “Sorry, I’m just a fan of the records you produced. It’s really fucking rad standing in front of you.” When I hear what just came out of my mouth I clap my hands over it. Way to blow an interview!

He laughs and directs me to his desk, where there’s an empty desk chair beside his. “Don’t even worry about it, Mina. It’s a pleasure meeting people who like the things I do. I mean, I like the things I do too!”

I laugh and ease up a bit as I sit beside him. He looks on his computer and starts clicking around, asking me to give him a moment so he can finish something up. When I survey the room again, I meet the gaze of two of the men on the sofa, one of which I recognize from being at the coffee shop. His name is Christian I think? The drummer right? And the other guy’s name is Andy, who I sort of know. He was super popular in the Myspace days and he’s pretty attractive, so he pops up on my Instagram “things-you-may-like” every now and again. Christian looks back at his phone while Andy tilts his chin up in a way to greet me, and I nod back at him.

“So, Mina, tell me a bit about yourself,” John says, sitting back in his chair.

“Well, I went to USC Thornton and majored in--”

“Not that, not that,” he says, laughing. “We’ll talk qualifications later. I want to know if you’re a person I can work with.”

“Oh, um.” I clear my throat. “I’d say so. I work well by myself but in groups I tend to be a mediator and help keep things on track.”

“Are you usually upbeat or am I going to have to rally you when you walk in?” he asks, laughing.

“I’m generally positive, unless there’s something going on at home,” I answer. “I try to keep things light-hearted when working or when with others.”

“Good. We don’t want anybody sad when we’re making rock!” Christian shouts, playing an air guitar. When I glance at him I chuckle, and everyone else is too. Andy meets my gaze again so I look back at Feldy.

“Hey, sad songs can rock too,” he argues, laughing. “Don’t mind CC, he’s a character. Anyway, let’s talk qualifications now.”

I tell him about my Bachelors in Music Technology and my three minors in Music Production, Music Recording, and Songwriting. He seems impressed, particularly because it’s USC and it’s like a hundred things, but I forced myself to do well in school so that I could get a full ride so I could learn everything about music that I wanted to. I inform him that I’ve done a free internship at Standby records for two months for some little band making their record (which means I was pretty much their delivery girl) and that I’ve had interest in the industry since high school, where I took tech theater and always did lighting and sound for the shows. He acts impressed, which lightens my heart a bit. I then tell him that I’ve dabbled a bit in writing music myself and know how to play piano, guitar, ukelele, and drums, and this seems to hit him and he nods. He asks what my vision is, and I tell him that it’s to be a full-time music producer one day.

After talking about myself for what seems like half an hour, Feldy and I stop and sit for a moment. He laughs and opens his arms. “Well, you’re technically more fit for music production than I am. I think giving you this experience will definitely give all your brains and hard work some credibility. You’re hired.”

My heart soars! “Really?” My smile is glued to my face.

“Yep. Make sure to tell Ricky on your way out that you need to be added to the payroll. We’ll finish up tonight and see you tomorrow morning at ten. Sound good?” He smiles back.

“Yes, yes! Thank you so much!” I shake his hand as we both stand up. He pats me on my shoulder and introduces me to everyone but Ashley, who isn’t here today. I also meet another sound technician, Matt, and Jake’s girlfriend, Inna, who’s there just to pick him up. After that, I leave and walk to the front desk to meet Ricky and talk about my being added to the payroll.

I can’t believe this is happening! Who could’ve thought something so mind-numbingly rare would happen to me? What a stroke of luck! I can’t wait to go home and tell Davey, he’ll be thrilled! And if I play my cards right and start saving some money, I can start building my custody case for him! This is an unbelievable opportunity I just landed. I can’t wait to start!

As I start talking to Ricky at the desk I notice from my peripheral vision that Andy has walked out too, but he goes through a side door to a little patio area outside. I answer the questions I need to and make small talk for a minute, because he’s actually kinda sweet and he’s excited I’m working here too.

With that, I collect my things and start to walk out, but as soon as I do I literally smack right into Andy as he’s coming in from the patio, making him drop his cigarettes and his phone.

“Ah, shit! I’m sorry,” I mumble, stooping down to pick his things up. I stand up to hand them back to him and meet his gaze, and immediately I’m immobilized. His eyes are so blue. I thought that he edited them that way!

“Oh, it’s not a problem,” he laughs off, sliding the two items into his back pocket. “It was great meeting you today, by the way. Fuck, songwriting even when I shouldn’t be.”

I start laughing, more out of being nervous, and he chuckles too. “Well, um, it was great meeting you today. I can’t wait to start working with you,” I try to finish.

“Oh, you too,” he says, clearing his throat. “Uh, what time did you say you were coming around tomorrow?”

“Ten.” I swallow hard, trying to swallow my intimidation at the 6’3” man in front of me. I’m not afraid of him, but I’m intimidated. How does that make sense?

“Cool, okay. Well, uh, see you tomorrow then, Mina,” he says.

I nod, biting the inside of my cheek. “Yep. See you tomorrow, Andy.”

With this I quickly turn and start walking out. What the fuck was that? He was probably acting so awkwardly because I was acting so awkward! Great first impression, Mina. The guy probably thinks you’re a deranged fan or something.

My whole ride home I force the issue out of my thoughts and instead focus on Davey. I stop by a grocery store on the way home to pick up everything. When I get home, Davey is ecstatic and hugs me and tells me all about his time with grandma and the game they played. We make dinner together, although I do most of the work. Grandma stays for dinner, of course, and Davey seems to be warming up to her pretty well. When I reveal to them that I got the job they both cheer me on, Davey seeming a bit less excited than Grandma. He knows that it’ll take time away from us, but I think he’s getting to be okay about that.

When my grandma leaves, Davey and I change into our pajamas and watch Hercules again, which has started to become a weekly thing. When he falls asleep on the couch I carry him to the bed we still share, and I fall asleep knowing that I may be able to take care of my little brother better than I thought I would.

Notes

I mean, I promised Pear this would happen like a week ago and didn't, but y'know.

Hey if you comment I'm more likely to update faster, just so you know!

Yours,
~Niki X,,,,,,x

(P.S. just in case you forgot...)