Connections

My eyes scan the words on the page, but they’re so tired that each word is covered in fuzz. I blink hard and try to focus, but I get three words into the sentence before the fuzz returns.

I lean back in the dining room chair and rub my eyes, a yawn rising up and out of my chest. The loud Rob Zombie mix keeping me awake has long lost its luster, and I turn it down some before just shutting it off. I look at the table in front of me, where a cup that held numerous amounts of coffee, my nearly dead phone, a laptop with a dim screen, and a notebook with a pen reside. The notebook holds only a few scribbles, since this research was almost futile.

Moving forward so my elbows can rest on the table, I rest my head against my palms, the heels of which dig into my eye sockets. I’ve spent hours doing this research and haven’t gotten anywhere, other than the number for an attorney who helped in a case sort of similar to this one and an increasing strength of guilt. I should’ve thought this out before just taking him. If I really wanted him to be safe, I wouldn’t have escalated the situation, and I would’ve looked into the legality of this first. I should’ve figured out my options on how to get him back here safely and legally. Now I’m here and--

“Mina?” I hear, though muffled by my headphones.

I turn and pull out an earbud, meeting Andy’s tired eyes. He’s also not wearing a shirt, which I try to ignore, and his pajama bottoms hang low on his hips. I blink hard and remove my other earbud before shutting my laptop. “What’re you doing up?” I ask.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he says, taking a few more steps in. “It’s almost four in the morning, Mina.”

I look up at the dark window before opening my phone long enough to confirm that it’s 3:44 in the morning. I rub my eyes again and say, “That explains why I’m so tired.”

“I just came out here for some water,” he explains before pouring himself a glass from the fridge. He comes forward and takes a seat at the table. The low lighting in the kitchen makes it hard to really focus on him, like he’s a Greek sculpture from 1000 feet away. I think he’s looking at me when he asks, “Research for Davey?”

I nod and resume my position with the heels of my hands in my eyes, trying to stimulate some blood flow. “I’ve gotten nothing, Andy. No cases of this happening to anybody else, no lawyers specializing in a case this fucked up.” I look up and glance at him. He’s taking a sip, I think, or maybe scratching his cheek. “I’ve royally fucked up,” I continue. “I don’t know of a way to keep Davey here. I kidnapped him, I’ve essentially taken him hostage. Sloane is his legal guardian, and every day I keep Davey from her it gets worse.” I sigh and look down. “I don’t even care if I go to jail for this, so long as he’s safe. But I can’t tell someone that and say he has to go to my Grandma. She could fight for legal custody but after what I did, there’s almost no footing for a case anymore.” I rest my folded arms on the table and set my head down. I’ve fucked up everything.

I can feel Andy sit up and then when he puts his hand on my back and starts rubbing. “Mina, you rescued your brother from an abusive legal guardian. Don’t forget that,” he murmurs. “If you hadn’t gone, where would Davey be now? In New Mexico where those assholes would continue to hurt him? You’re trying to give him a better life.”

“It doesn’t mean a thing if he has to go back because of me,” I snap, but I soften immediately. Andy doesn’t deserve having his head bit off. I rest my chin on my arms. “I’m sorry. I just... All I know is that as far as the law goes, I’m screwed. I have barely any proof of abuse, and I’m the one who kidnapped him. If I brought that to a judge, I’d be laughed at before being cuffed.”

Andy doesn’t have anything to say, because he knows I’m right. I shut my laptop, the search currently futile. I sigh and sit all the way back in my chair before saying, “I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.”

For a moment there’s silence, but Andy only lets it last for the one moment. “Well, at least for tonight, you’re going to sleep. We can try to figure it out in the morning, after your grandmother has picked Davey up.”

I nod, too tired to argue. All this will do is waste valuable research time. However, I can’t even focus on the scribbles in my notebook, so at minimum my eyes need to rest. I unfold my leg from underneath me and let it fall to the floor before a crippling jab of needles hits it. I curse under my breath before explaining to Andy, “My leg is super fucking asleep.”

He chuckles and stands up, helping me to my feet. “The best thing then is to walk.”

I groan as I wrap my arm around his shoulders to keep my balance, and his arm slides easily around my waist. I hobble along as the pins and needles float down my leg, Andy helping me. The blood flow makes it to my ankle as we arrive to my and Davey’s room. I take my arm back as I open the door. “Goodnight,” I mumble.

“Goodnight,” he returns, and once I’m inside I shut the door on his tired eyes.

I turn and look at Davey, who’s fast asleep and curled up with his back to the wall, something I notice he always does. He’s wrapped tight in the Batman blanket Andy gave him, so I grab the comforter that’s been kicked to the end of the bed and wrap it around me as I get into bed, trying my best to be slow and quiet. I watch his sleeping face for a while. His brows aren’t furrowed, his eyelids flutter a little, his mouth is just barely pursed open. He is so relaxed in this house that it makes my insides feel warm and gooey. With the new ferocious heat of determination in my heart, I shut my eyes and fall asleep almost as suddenly as my leg did.





I wake up to Davey gently pushing me. “Mina, wake up. Grandma’s here, she wants to talk to you.”

Groaning, I squeeze my eyes shut tighter. It then occurs to me that means it’s eleven o’clock and I’m still in bed. I sit up quickly, a little too quickly since my head starts spinning. I grab it and shut my eyes again as I say, “Tell her I’ll be there in just a sec.”

“Okay,” he says, running out of the room. I open my eyes and watch him fly down the hallway, his favorite purple tutu and a cape all I can see. I almost laugh at how silly he is before getting up. I start to walk out the door when I realize I’m wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday, so I quickly change and put a brush through my hair before walking to the kitchen.

Grandma is sitting on one of the bar stools in front of the counter while Andy is standing in the kitchen. Both of them are laughing about something. While not concerning, it’s a little surprising since Grandma hasn’t really shown much interest one way or another in Andy.

It’s Andy who notices me first. “Good morning, Mina,” he greets.

Grandma turns and notices me. “Oh hello, Mina,” she laughs. “Good to see you actually awake and moving around this morning.”

I laugh it off. She’s always been an early morning person, so I’m usually up before anyone else. Davey comes running around the corner, his arms outstretched like he’s flying. “Look at this cool cape Andy found in his stuff!” Davey yelled excitedly.

“It’s rad, lovebug,” I say, smiling at him. I crouch down to hug him.

As we pull away, Davey starts bubbling, “Grandma said that there’s this museum that has a whole bunch of dinosaur fossils and things to look at. And there’s tar!”

Grandma laughs. “The La Brea Tar Pits,” she clarifies. When I look up at her, with about as neutral of a face as I can make in front of Davey, she continues, “I figured I could take him to get him off your hands for a while.” She gives me a look of “Duh, I’m going to be as careful as possible.”

I’m still concerned, so I stand up. “The Tar Pits, huh?” I ask, trying to insinuate my skepticism to her while also trying not to alert Davey.

I can sense the defiance as she gives me a look of “you’re questioning my judgement?”, but I march on. As Davey runs down the hall I lower my voice. “I’m watching over my shoulder even when I take Davey to my car and back. Sloane could be anywhere.”

“Sloane isn’t going to walk around the Tar Pits just looking for kids; it would make her look suspicious,” she argues cooly. “There will be literally thousands of kids there for fieldtrips, and I have I am not a helpless woman.” She shakes her bag as if to remind me that her pepper spray can protect her from a six-foot-four abusive pedophile.

“Grandma, this isn’t a good idea,” I state. “He’ll be in the wide open. What if he gets hurt and has to go to the hospital? What if--”

“Mina, you seem to forget that I raised you from the time you were his age and into the woman standing before me,” she says, and I can tell this is her final word. “We will be just fine. She’s looking for you and a little boy in little boy clothes, not an old woman with a little boy in a tutu. Besides, you can’t keep him locked up in this house forever”

“A tutu is technically a little boy’s clothes,” I mutter, taking a seat beside her at the counter, and I hear Davey down the hall.

“Andy! These sunglasses were just sitting on the cabinet in the hallway can I have them?” he asks, his words almost slurring with how fast he’s talking.

I had completely forgotten about the other adult in the room, who heard me arguing with Grandma. I give him a glance, but he’s already looking at Davey in the kitchen doorway. “Absolutely, little man! They look great.”

I almost laugh at the image before me, Davey in a regular green t-shirt, a Batman cape, a purple tutu, and his faded Converse, with black Ray Bans sunglasses that are obviously a little too big for him. He hasn’t breached a subject of more skirts or dresses or anything yet, but then again it’s not like I take him shopping all the time. Most of the time he’s in pants but when he thinks it’s a special occasion he puts on the tutu.

“How do I look?” he asks me, and he flexes his arms in an effort to, I assume, emulate a superhero.

“You look like a badass,” I tell him, and I get a sharp look from my grandma about cursing, but whatever. He’s thrilled and he shouts in excitement to the beat of his jumps.

“Relax, Davey,” Grandma says, but she’s smiling too. “I’ll text you every couple of hours, alright? And obviously, we’ll be careful.” She stands and grabs her purse off the counter. “It was lovely talking with you, Andy,” she says before walking into the living room.

“The pleasure’s mine,” he responds, and we both follow. Grandma grabs Davey’s hand as they walk to the door, and Andy tries to get ahead to open the door for them but isn’t fast enough. Instead Grandma opens the door herself and looks down at Davey before looking at us. “I love you,” she says to me.

Davey quickly runs back and hugs me around the legs, not giving me a chance to bend down. “Love you, Mina, bye!” he yells, running back and grabbing Grandma’s hand. He tries to pull her through the door like he does with me, but she yanks him back and doesn’t allow it.

I swallow the fear-induced words dying to leave my lips and instead force a smile. “I love both of you. Be safe, please.”

Grandma nods and turns back outside. They step out and I watch them from the door as they get into the car, and then as they pull out of the driveway and out of the neighborhood. My heart is in my throat.

Andy’s voice makes me jump. “I’d rather not let all the flies in,” he tries to joke, but having seen me jump he changes his tone. “I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

I sigh as I walk out from the door’s path and let him close it. I don’t even have the words for how nervous this is making me. My stomach feels like it’s tied in a knot, I can feel my heartbeat in my ears. I look at Andy, who’s been looking at me. He opens his mouth to speak but I interrupt him before he can. “You don’t think this is a bad idea?” I ask, my words as fast as Davey’s were moments ago.

“Absolutely not,” he says, and my eyebrows raise. “I’ve been to the La Brea Tar Pits. The place is kid city. They’re not gonna’ pay, like, fifty bucks or whatever just to look around there. In fact, they’re still probably hanging around your apartment. Besides, Davey is a far cry from what they know him to look like. He’s gained at least ten pounds and has grown at least an inch, his hair is blue, and he’s wearing a tutu.”

Unfortunately, Andy is quite the wordsmith. I sigh and look at my feet, unable to give him a good rebuttal. We stand in silence for a moment before he says, “Hey, I wanna’ take you somewhere.”

Instantly I look up at him with the look of “I told you we can’t do that.” I may have been quick to judge, but it’s the last thing I need to have to deal with additional feelings for another boy.

“Not like that,” he says, and he raises his hands. “You ever hike?”

Notes

Damn, remember this era of cute?



Anyway, as you know I've quit making excuses about my late uploads. However, listen to some David Bowie and you'll feel better.

(and not to be like, that person or whatever, but like maybe I'd update faster if like people showed any interesting in me uploading at all or whatever but y'know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

All my love,
Niki X,,,,,,x