I couldn’t decide exactly how I wanted to issue my proclamation. Just posting it without some manner of pomp and circumstance didn’t seem adequate. Should I just inform the Court, then let word spread on its own? Or did the occasion warrant posters, Palace decorations, a spot on the evening news, or any other manner of fluff? Even worse, was it necessary for me to hold a formal Ball?

I cringed at that thought. As I’d gotten older, my distaste for flouncing around in fancy dress had only grown.

I tried to rationalize the process through, step by step. For one, I needed to announce that I had a trueborn son, birthed by an immortal, human woman. Additionally, I needed to establish that Andy was to be my heir upon completion of his atonement.

But I felt like that left too much unanswered. Everyone would want to know what it was Andy was doing; if there were a Ball, his absence would be regarded as a bad omen.

Also, while Amy and I had been married, she’d always been crystal clear about the fact that she had exactly zero desire to assume the post of my Queen. She had no tolerance for bureaucracy and constant red tape. She was much more of a hands-on, grassroots involvement in the community type of person.

But that would only raise more questions, if I didn’t clarify somehow that Amy was still around, and as my much-beloved wife. Unsure what to make of the situation, I went to the fridge and popped myself open an Arrogant Bastard Ale. I figured, if I just relaxed a little, it would come to me, in time.

---

Four hours later, I had made up my mind. I’d make a dramatic declaration before the Court at the Palace, and be sure to invite the damned press. I’d even have trumpets and whatnot to add a little glitz. Begrudgingly I decided to order that potted flowers be put up around the city of Dis, following my announcement, to make things seem festive. Ultimately, I held off on the Ball, at least for the time being.

---

The next day, I was in a bizarrely light-hearted mood. Perhaps because, at last, I was going to air out one of my biggest secrets. My wife and son would finally, officially, be part of my life.

I stood at the podium, at the front of the Great Hall, in full, decorative dress. I had even oiled my horns in advance so they’d glisten in pictures; the ladies loved that. I signaled to the trumpeters to quiet down, and the Great Hall gradually went silent, though the irritating flashing of cameras continued.

I held my prepared speech in my hand and began to read. I’d never been much good at memorizing long tracts of text. “To all of my subjects, I make this pronouncement, and I bid you take careful heed of my words. On this day, I declare that my natural-born son, Andrew the demon of desire, is now the heir to my throne.” There were shocked gasps, but no one dared to say anything outright.

I continued on. “Andrew is my son by my immortal, human wife, Amy. Andrew is unique, being both a manner of cambion and a nephilim, and you will all treat him with the respect he is due as your Prince. He is currently on a divine mission, but once his duties have been fulfilled, he will assume his role in full.”

I nodded. All things considered, that had gone pretty smoothly. “Let the entirety of the Netherworld rejoice in welcoming my wife, my son, and his partner here at the Palace and elsewhere. Whosoever does not will find themselves the subjects of appropriately severe disciplinary action.” I gave my best menacing grin before leaving the pedestal to the sound of the trumpets, a barrage of flashing cameras, and the applause of the Court.

I strode away as quickly as I could to my study, only pausing to order that the flowerpots be placed and the champagne and hors d’oeuvres be served. I had no desire to mingle and have my ass kissed for the many hours it would take for the crowded Court to dissipate from the Great Hall. I could hardly wait until Amy was here with me, at last!

Notes

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