I’d decided to take a few days off; I was in good shape in terms of my little harem. Energy stream was nice and steady, not too many gals of an advanced age or overly unstable. Just sadness, which suited my needs.

Getting the text from the Big Man had been completely unexpected. At first I’d thought maybe I was in for it, maybe I’d done something stupid. But after thinking on it some more, I realized I’d been doing everything completely by the book for years. I always did… more or less.

So, I poured myself a double shot of whiskey and had a seat. Naturally, now that I wasn’t supposed to start a hunt, I was positively itching to go find a beautiful, lonesome woman. I had a contrary streak, but I kept it under control. Getting texts from Big Daddy was no laughing matter.

---

Around four in the afternoon on Monday, I heard a knock on the door. Well, here we go…

I had been wearing suits for the last couple of days, since I wanted to present a certain, competent aspect, and I had no idea when Boss Man was going to show up. I was glad I’d being doing it when I opened the door and saw Lucifer standing, alone, on my doorstep. “My Lord, please, come in.”

I moved aside. “Can I fetch you any refreshments? I have a variety stored away, ranging from joy over cuddles to-“

Apophis shook his head. “-No thanks, kid. You will not believe why I’m here.” He groaned and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “Your brother, Andy, is in a world of shit.”

I couldn’t stop my eyes from bulging in surprise. Andy? His golden child? My mind raced as I followed the Devil to have a seat in my den.

Andy… For a long time, after he’d managed to rope an angel in and get her under contract, we had not been on the best of terms. It hadn’t suited my ego that he had accomplished something I never had, when he was so much younger. That he had a bad attitude after the fact was only rubbing salt in the wound.

He’d always been favored, inexplicably, by the Dark Lord. It had previously been a mere thorn in my side, but once he’d been the direct cause of an angel’s fall from grace, we’d gone through a period of being at odds. He was an ungrateful prat.

Andy was a hog of the spotlight, it was true, but I was pretty sure I’d finally gotten accustomed to it. He could be as melodramatic as he wanted, I had decided to be a modern man and take the higher road. I hadn’t even tried to steal any targets from him mid-negotiation in a few centuries, nor he, I. And I certainly respected him; he had a certain theatrical flare, sticking to his antiquated ways so stubbornly. He wasn’t quite as old-fashioned as Jinxx, but he was getting there.

As Belial had a seat, I realized I’d still failed to say anything. “Would you like some whiskey? It’s a nice bottle; Kavalan Vinho Barrique, a barrel proof, single malt…” I trailed off when he waved at me to fetch him a glass.

I waited as Ash-Shaytan had a taste, and felt gratified when he smiled a bit. “Yeah, that is nice! Tastes a bit fruity, like pear.” I nodded and refilled his glass.

He was frowning again, which made me nervous. “Look, Ash, I have a bunch of crazy shit to tell you. So I’m going to start off by clarifying that I am absolutely telling the truth and not pulling your leg.” I nodded and listened as he spoke.

What Satan had to say blew my mind. He was in love; Andy was in love! Andy was his son, as in, from his actual nutsack! But then came the truly crazy part. He wanted me to shack up with the woman Andy was in love with, while Andy went on some harebrained quest to do Yahweh’s bidding. They wanted to convince him to break the contract and give the girl immortality!

I emptied my own drink and poured myself another. Shit.

Notes

Let me know what you think! Please rate/subscribe/comment/etc.! It's the only feedback I ever get! :D