At first, Andy was very resistant and anxious when I brought up leaving the apartment. Apparently I needed to stay literally within a few feet of him, or our contract would come to an end. I reassured him that I’d be careful, but he was beside himself with worry that we’d be separated.

At last, after I pointed out that our contract was modified from his usual (it would only be nullified if we were separated before a month’s time, not ended), and swore up and down that I’d sign a new one if needed, he conceded. It made me start to realize that maybe Andy really was serious about… whatever, exactly, he felt about me. I knew he couldn’t feel love, so perhaps he hadn’t exaggerated when he said I tasted really good? Maybe it was a form of addiction?

Before we left, Andy had insisted I go to the bathroom, putting up a huge fuss! I suppose I hadn’t thought about how public restrooms were separated by gender. It made me wonder how many times Andy had accidentally ended a contract because one of his women needed to piss during an outing...

The other thing I hadn’t considered was how the hell Andy would just walk around without being noticed. But after I came out of the bathroom, I found he had tucked his tail down an uncharacteristically loose pair of pants, and he was wearing gloves. Sexy, clever man!

I decided to surprise him by taking him to Eden Park, specifically the Krohn Conservatory. Something told me, deep in my gut, that he’d just love seeing a botanical garden. Maybe we’d hit up the Cincinnati art Museum as well.

Andy was excitable and fussy as soon as we got out of the house. He told me he hadn’t really been out and about in Cincinnati since just after the First World War. He asked if we were going to see “the reservoir, that memorial sculpture, or that festive little gazebo with the onion dome on top,” and I told him I had even better plans. There was so much there to see, apparently more than a hundred years ago.

I decided to start out with the more quiet of the two, and took Andy into the Cincinnati Art Museum. I hadn’t really been before, and luckily they were open on Saturdays until 5pm. Andy had apparently been once before, but said it had grown considerably in size.

We went from room to room, occasionally exchanging quiet commentary. Andy was the most fond of the portraits, especially Duveneck’s ‘Girl in Black Hood’ and Mosler’s ‘The Quadroon Girl.’ Cox’s ‘The Approach of Love’ also got an appreciative nod. Landscapes were a little boring to him; I definitely enjoyed them more than he did. When it came to pottery or furniture, I quickly learned to breeze through the exhibit, as Andy would inevitably quip that he had, ‘something far better,’ at home. We shared a chuckle over Corot’s ‘Don Quixote.’

Andy grew a little irritable; he was convinced that all the men in the museum were checking me out, which was ridiculous! When we got to the contemporary section, Andy pitched a small, quieter version of a tantrum and declared that he could stomach no more art for the day.

Leaving the car at the Art Museum, we walked along Eden Park Drive, around Mirror Lake, until we reached the Krohn Conservatory. Andy was immediately curious about what lay inside the aluminum and glass walls, but I wasn’t expecting his reaction when I told him it was an indoor botanical garden.

He stiffened slightly, but I noticed it as he’d insisted I take his arm wherever we walked. His voice was heavier than the situation merited. “My lady… you have taken me to view the florae?”

Immediately I felt ridiculous. What interest could a demon possibly have in Earthly plants? “We, we certainly don’t have to go in. I just thought you might like it.” I finished lamely, my earlier gut intuition now forgotten. “And I knew they were open today, being Saturday…”

Andy swallowed hard. “No-no, by all means. Let us go onward and see what lies inside.”

Andy may have agreed to go in, but something was off about him from the moment he saw all the copious vegetation. “Do you have allergies?” Andy just shook his head and gestured for me to continue walking.

I decided to cut my losses and make my way to my most favorite parts. I brought him to the rainforest waterfall display, but Andy only appeared a little green and lost as he looked around us. Without pausing, I decided to make one last ditch effort and took him to the Orchid house. As soon as we entered the little glass, temple, his face drained of all color. “Are you alright?”

Andy blinked slowly. His reply was uncharacteristically soft, “I think it may be all the human food, I believe I’m having gastrointestinal distress…”

I saw through his transparent lie immediately. “Really, Andy, are you ok? I’m right here for you, you know. We have all the time in the world, we can go wherever you want-“

He cut me off, “-Who can say how much time we have? You’re but a mortal!” He scowled. “My intestines pain me, can we return to your abode?” I could see his tail twitching a bit by the seat of his pants, and started to worry.

Not wanting Andy to either shit himself (I wasn’t sure how accustomed he was to dealing with flatulence), or to keep talking about immortality while in a public park, I quickly offered to go get the car, then come round and pick him up. Andy panicked at the idea of me leaving him and the contract being nullified, making me realize my rookie mistake.

As we made our way back to the Art Museum, his mood seemed to improve drastically. I noted to myself that Andy might, in fact, be allergic to certain kinds of foliage, and unwilling to tell me out of embarrassment. Hopefully that had been the cause of his strange episode.

When I asked if Andy was up for going out to see a movie, he looked at me guiltily and admitted that his nerves were frayed at the possibility of our separation, and that he most definitely still wanted to go back to my apartment. The moment was so strangely touching, and unexpected. I felt my heart melting as I looked into his stunning, cerulean eyes. They shined brightly when I said that going home was just fine, and he kissed my hand and called me, ‘generous beyond measure.’

When we got home, I sent Andy off to the bathroom to make sure he didn’t just need to let it all out after all. I could hear him mumbling happily to himself that my bathroom had a fan, while ruefully noting that it had no windows. He must have taken damned near half an hour to do his business, and then I heard him starting a shower!

Concerned, I knocked on the door. “Andy?”


His voice came through the door fuzzily. “Stay back, mistress! The stench of digested matter is beyond my very comprehension! I’ll not have you die of suffocation from my waste! At this very moment, I swear I am cleansing myself of residue-“

I started laughing. “-Well, alright, I’m going to order a pizza-“

Andy piped up, irate, “-I’ll eat no more human food! I wish only to sup between your luscious thighs! Don’t even think of…” I wandered off, giggling, and checked out the menu before ordering.

Andy did not emerge from my bedroom until a while after the pizza had been delivered. He made his ways suspiciously to my side. “So…pizza?”

I covered my mouth to reply. “Yeah, have you tried it?”

Andy sniffed in disgust. “Not recently. Do not expect me to share in it, I loathe excrement!”

I picked up a pillow from the sofa and tossed it at him. “It’s not excrement, it’s just pizza! Just try a bite!”

Andy looked horribly affronted, but nonetheless approached the box. He inhaled daintily, cocking his head to the side. I watched, amused, as he lifted the lid and snuffled again. “It does have a pleasant odor. Are these hallucinogenic mushrooms?” I shook my head. “Hmm… perhaps just a small taste?”

I smiled at him. “You want a bite of my slice? Everybody poops, Andy.”

Andy shook his head at me and rolled his eyes. “I most certainly do not! And I believe I’d like a piece of my own, to do with what I please…” Of course, he ate the whole thing, purring happily.

We spent the night eating our pizza and watching Netflix while we cuddled. I’d never had such a great vacation!

Notes

Credit is due to my co-conspirator, The Unforgiven, for help with editing and plot development.

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Duveneck's 'Girl in Black Hood'


Mosler's 'The Quadroon Girl'


Cox's 'The Approach of Love'


Corot's 'Don Quixote'


The Krohn Conservatory's Orchid House