A Demon's Bargain

I was surprised to see the Andy-man-thing waiting for me patiently outside my bedroom. I had wondered if I had been hallucinating him. I supposed that could still be the case, really.

He grinned at me ferally, cocking his head. "Pray show me your balcony, mistress, that you may indulge your sinful craving." Honestly, the way he said it, it sounded like he was suggesting something absolutely scandalous. He had such an incredible voice! How he had known I'd been hankering for a smoke, I wasn't sure, but he was clearly some kind of alien, fairy, or maybe a demon?

I couldn't even bring myself to make eye contact; I was embarrassed to be thinking so appreciatively about someone clearly outside of my own species. I doubted he'd actually truly welcome the attention. Andy’s kind, whatever that was exactly, was most likely just naturally flirtatious. I wondered why such a bizarre creature was really here, and was surprised to feel very little fear. "Sure." I led him onto the balcony and tried to collect my thoughts.

So… Some otherworldly or supernatural being was here- a sexy one. Why? Did he come from another galaxy, fairyland, or, eh, Satan? Did Satan exist? Would bumming a smoke from this guy doom my soul? Did souls exist?

Ultimately, I decided that, if the fate of my soul was determined by the smoking of one cigarette, than the whole system was fucked. If that were the case, I was already screwed, surely. Hopefully weird Satan-cigarettes weren't laced with drugs.

More likely, honestly, Andy-man was an alien. Maybe he was a genetic hybrid-thing. I wondered if he was going to abduct me, perhaps probe me... Shit! Don't think about that!

I figured, though, if cat-man wanted to kill me, he probably would have already. I bet he could bitch-slap with that tail like an angry iguana!

Andy offered me one of his strange cigarettes, took one for himself, lit mine, and then his, with his crazy, igniting thumb claw. He exhaled, then smiled, and it was totally dazzling. "I see very well that my appearance here vexes and concerns you, my sweet peach. Do not be troubled; I hate to see your lovely brow so creased. With me, you may always speak your mind and be at ease. Please," Andy stepped closer, putting his free hand over the hand I had resting on the railing, "I insist."

I stared at our hands, dumbstruck, as Andy ran his clawed thumb over my knuckles. I glanced up at him, and he licked he lips before smiling again and releasing my hand. He turned around and started pacing along the balcony, tail whipping like an agitated cat's. Dang, look at that butt in those tight pants! I sucked more cigarette in, unsure what to say, as I tried not to get caught staring.

After a while, the fascinating Andy-man came to rest, and, putting both hands on the ledge, snorted a billowing cloud of smoke out both nostrils. Seemingly a lot more came out than he had inhaled, which made me grin.

He turned and looked at me, and I quickly looked away. "Why do you always look away from me so when I speak? Am I so repulsive?" I shook my head, smiling at the side of the building. "If you are more comfortable as such, very well. Just know that I am very vain, and would love to know how to earn the gaze of those lovely, dark eyes. Even now I wilt and feel ugly, that you avert them so at every opportunity."

I glanced quickly at Andy. He was staring at me in a way that made me feel like I needed some time alone with my vibrator very soon.

"I think you know very well you're not ugly, Andy-man. What are you and why are you here?" Good. It had been long past time to grow a little spine, there. I even managed a semi-steady gaze, sort of, at parts of Andy, not exactly his eyes. Avoiding going too far south. But I was at least definitely standing up straight.

Andy preened and said dramatically, "How do you feel about ... Supernatural?"

What the hell? The television show? Hmm... Was he a psychotic magician fanboy of the show? A cinema special effects guy? Did aliens really like it? I really hadn't seen that coming.

"Well, I watched, I think, the first Season with my ex-boyfriend, right after it came out. But then, after he left me, I mean, I've just always associated it with him, so I never watched any more of it." Andy frowned. What did that mean? I guessed he really liked the show. "Look, I know all my fellow geeks and nerds love it, but it reminds me too much of what I’ve been through, ok?" Andy was still scowling. Damn it! "Look, if it's that important to you, I guess I could give it another try, but I'll have to re-watch the-"

Andy held up a hand. "-Mistress, are you talking about the television program, Supernatural?" I nodded. Andy laughed, and it was so striking I dropped my cigarette.

Andy bent to pick it up for me, then hesitated, looking at it. "Nothing that has been on the ground is good enough for you. Here, have the rest of mine, should you desire it." I accepted it, with a mute nod, not knowing what to say. Andy held my old cigarette in between two fingers and burnt it to ash with a quick burst of flame in his palm, making me grin.

Andy smiled. "I'm glad you like my parlor tricks, (Y/N). But what I was asking, and I beg forgiveness for my lack of clarity, I must have mumbled, was how do you feel about THE supernatural, the metaphysical, and such."

Oh! I giggled. "Well. Not a whole lot." I felt like I should say something else. "I like horror movies, but I don't like the scary ghost ones with freaky suspense when I'm alone at night." I thought about the demon thing. "I'm, uh, agnostic?"

I took a drag of the cigarette Andy had given me, secretly relishing the idea that it had been against his shapely lips, then stubbed it out, and motioned we go inside. I sat on the couch and my heart leapt in my chest when Andy sat right next to me. I felt his tail trace up my arm, then tuck some hair behind my ear that had been in my face. Oh geez. I was going to have to change my underwear. Why the Hell did he have such an effect on me?

"Allow me to explain, my sweet siren. I am a demon. A very particular kind of demon.” Andy smirked at me. “You seem very sharp, (Y/N). I am sure, if you wish to think in traditional terms, that you could guess which of the seven sins is my specialty.”

I swallowed. Indeed I could. Andy even smelled amazing! Very masculine; with a hint of bonfire. I just nodded, wondering where this was going.

Andy’s eyes were calm but appraising. “I am an elite demon of desire, an adept. The Dark Lord himself created me. That brings me to why I am here.”

Andy took my hands in both of his and gave me such a look I was certain my clothes were going to melt clean off. “You are why I am here, (Y/N), you are a veritable enchantress to me. I will be frank with you and tell you that, when I see you, when I touch you, I am stirred from my apathy. You have enticed me, above all other lonely women on Earth, and I have answered your call.”

I cocked my head. I wasn’t a fool. “Keep talking, Andy-man. Clearly there’s a lot more to this.” Plus I liked the sound of his voice. But I kept that to myself.

Andy clasped my hands together, rubbing my knuckles. “I am here to give you an offer of romance and companionship, everything you've ever dreamed of with a man, fulfillment unparalleled; to treat you as my goddess and my queen. I can guarantee you will get what you want. I can promise that you will have gratification. Your body will ache from all the pleasure that I bring it, every day, as much as you want. You will never have slept so soundly, you will feel so content. Your mind will be virtually congested from all the bliss. Can anyone else give you an assurance like that, signed, sealed, and delivered?"

I snorted. "Bullshit! If it were that simple, demon-Andy, you'd have a girlfriend or a wife, right? What are you getting out of this; what is the price I pay? How long would this even last? Just tell me everything. Don’t waste my time.”

And over the course of about half an hour, the sexy demon told me all the details. How he benefited by my pleasurable reactions, that he could leave at any time he chose, that I would essentially be doomed romantically afterwards. It was a terrible idea. I knew that some slutty demon that had manipulated however many thousands of women before me was likely incapable of even feeling genuine sympathy, much less love. If I agreed, I’d be discarding any chance of real love for a guaranteed facsimile.

I turned to tell Andy a polite ‘no thank you,’ when I realized that, deep in my gut, that actually wasn’t what I wanted to do. Even if that would have been the smart thing, I just couldn’t make myself follow through. Just for once, I wanted, so badly, to be held. Embraced by a real person, even if he wasn’t human. Have someone else to talk to, just for a moment. Someone I could treat well, show kindness to, and share beautiful things with in this often too-ugly world. And there was something about this cat-man that drew me in, it wasn’t just that he was good looking. Was it his quirky manner of speech? Maybe Andy liked going to the movies?

Notes

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