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A Demon's Bargain

#39

It just didn’t matter how old I got; I was still a parent. The absolute second I had confirmed that (Y/N) and Andy were finally getting extra friendly, I had stopped snooping. I mean, I was glad (thrilled, actually) but I sure as shit didn’t want to actually see it go down!

But it was like a small weight was lifted off my chest. I finally watched the Reds game, took care of a little top-priority satanic business, went to see Amy, and of course got a bit of a tongue-lashing for such a close call. Then came the next step in ensuring my son (and potential heir’s) future.

I really didn’t like making trips upstairs. I wasn’t unwelcome per se, but being there just made my skin itch. Dennis and I already had a complex relationship; the fact that I was going to him to ask a favor would make things even more awkward than usual…

I cringed before adjusting my ball cap in the mirror and quickly looking myself over. I decided to go casual and tuck away all the demonic-looking stuff (horns, wings, and tail), in case I ran into some unsuspecting angel and it shat its pants, toga, or whatever the fuck. I hoped no one would notice the holes in my cap.

With a sigh, I poked a route through the dimensions to my old home. Sensing my Father was in his den, I opted for the entryway. Hmph. With a grunt, I jumped the long distance, then opened the portal and materialized.

It went even less smoothly than I had anticipated. I heard a chorus of, “The Dark One!” “The Morning Star!” etc., around me as angels scattered, and I groaned. Why did I even bother? Only one did not flee, and I wasn’t exactly glad to see him. Ugh, Michael. Really? That prick had the meanest uppercut.

Thankfully, he just nodded, and refrained from macho posturing. “I’ll let Him know you’re here.”

For the sake of playing nice, I didn’t laugh out loud at such a ludicrous remark. Let the Lord of All Things know I was here? Please… Instead, I just nodded and waited, holding in a fiery belch of irritation until no one was looking.

Well, I had thought no one was looking. However, I soon spotted a small angel child, hidden behind a post. He was looking at me, frightened, but curious. I felt bad, so I gave him a lame thumbs-up. He wrinkled his nose in confusion. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to be too friendly, seem like some kind of stereotypically ‘tempting’ asshole-

Michael came back, hand resting ‘casually’ on the pommel of his ever-present sword (as though I’d try any shit here, what the fuck?). “He’s waiting for you, brother.”

Again, instead of skewering Michael’s eyes out with my claws for daring to still call me his brother, I just nodded, and headed down the old, familiar hall to the All-Father’s den. I walked in, and there he was, sitting on a sofa, in a matching tracksuit. “Hey Dennis-“

He snorted. “-Can’t you call me Dad? We’ve talked about this! I know you don’t live at home anymore, but calling me Dennis is just…” He shook his head and trailed off, looking tired, and I decided to let it go for the time being.

I took a seat in an armchair next to the sofa and waited for Aten to tell me what he thought of my predicament. Andy’s fate rested in the hands of a cranky, old man. Shit.

After a minute, he got an irritated expression, rolling his eyes at me. “Look, we’ve been over that before, too. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, but I can’t magically sense how you want to express the situation to me, exactly what you want to say or accomplish. You still have free will, Chris. Dang! Don’t you want to use it and put your case forward for your boy? Hmm?”

I was indignant. “Don't you 'hmm' me, for Pete’s sake! I’m worried about Andy, as in, your grandson, your proper grandson-“

The Almighty raised a hand. “-I know who he is-“

I stood up, smoke shooting out of my nose despite myself. “-Well do you even care? I love him, not just because I want to make him my heir, I actually love him like a son, a real son! And I know how children should be treated! I remember his childhood, and one day I want to give it back to him-“

Elohim stood tall, ever the imposing, silver fox. “-Chris, hold on a second-“

But I had lost my temper, as I sometimes did, and there was no stopping me then. “-Jesus, will you listen to yourself? I love-“

Well, I had thought there was no stopping me. But Jesus, as in, my much younger brother, stuck his head in the den. “What’s up? You called?” I waved lamely, stopping mid-rant, feeling like a total douche. Poor kid, he looked so excited to see me... “Oh, Chris! Hey man!”

Jesus took a step into the den, but our Father walked swiftly up to him. “My son, would you join the Cherubim and lead them in discussion of, um, something really, really… good?”

Jesus’ eyes flicked over to me and he nodded in comprehension. “Absolutely. Catch you later, Chris!” He waved. I waved back again and sighed before sitting back down.

This was not going how I had envisioned. And why did Jesus’ followers, who had made me their antithesis, absolutely have to end up being called Christians, anyway? That still got under my skin!

Shàngdì chuckled. “Yeah, the irony of that never gets old, kiddo. You know he'd really like to get to know you better."

I groaned. "Do you have any idea how much mayhem would ensue if the three of us went to a ballgame together? What if any one of us was recognized? People would flip out and think Armageddon was coming. It would ruin the whole game!”

He blinked. "Ah, yeah… perhaps we could just watch one on the telly instead?” I groaned. “So anyway. You were saying?”

I decided to take things from a new angle. “You know that, when Andy was born, we made the decision to raise him as a demon, so he could be immortal. When he was old enough, we had to hide his memories of his childhood, so he could blend in.” I sighed. “He’s done very well for himself. Insofar as I know, no one knows he has a human mother, not even Andy. He is the very first among his kind.”

I rubbed my eyes, trying to think about what I wanted to say in advance, but unable. Instead, I just spoke from my satanic heart. “Andy is in love, Den... dad, and he doesn’t even know it. It’s with a girl he has under contract, which is a disaster! I’m sure you know how that kind of bargain works. I imagine you can even read it with your, you know, all-seeing eye or whatever.”

The Creator raised a silver eyebrow at me. “Give me your version of how you see things, Chris.”

I frowned. This was unnecessary torture. Had he been reading self-help books again? “I… I think I’ve made mistakes with Andy. He doesn’t know what love feels like, he doesn’t know how to recognize it in himself.”

I frowned before voicing one of my greatest fears. “I think, I mean, I’m not sure, but I think he may even have been in love already. I missed all the signs.”

My voice cracked as I remembered how badly Andy had dealt with losing the only person he’d ever remembered deeply caring about. “He didn’t know what to do with those kinds of feelings, what caring about someone else meant, and I wasn’t there for him. I failed him as a father. Because of that, he ruined what he had with a mark he cared about, maybe even loved, in the past.”

Dì leaned forward a little, listening carefully. I forged onwards. “Anyway, Andy’s currently in a contract with a human, mortal woman, that I'm sure he's in love with. As things stand, it’s almost a standard contract, but with a minor loophole. If he leaves before a month’s time, then he might be able to see this girl again. But she would be free to love someone else; so he’ll never do that, he has too much pride. If he leaves after a month’s time, then he’s ruined the possibility of her ever finding fulfillment again, and he can't see her. Of course, he could just never leave her apartment, but he’d go insane, and I want my son and heir.”

Jehovah raised the obvious point. “Why can Andy not visit her again after he leaves, after the full month has passed? Has he never tried that with women before?”

I hated it when he played these stupid games! Obviously, he knew the answer already. Not wanting to irritate him, I shook my head. “The strength of the grief the women feel prevents him from approaching, it’s all in the contract. It would take power greater than Andy’s, even greater than mine, to allow him to come near them. Once he ends a contract, he can’t ever get anywhere close to that woman again. And besides that, there's the additional problem of this girl’s mortality.”

I put my head in my hands, at a loss. I took a moment to slowly inhale, then exhale, then rub my eyes again. “Please. Andy will die without her love; I’ve already seen him come near death when she was hesitant with her affections. I will lose my son. You will lose your grandson. I’ve come asking for your help, for a way out of his contract, some solution. It’s too powerful a thing for me to break it. You are the only one who can.”

I watched the Infinite One, the oldest being in existence, sit back and think, rubbing his whiskers. My son’s fate hung in the balance.

Notes

Comments

@Merelan


Aww- glad you enjoyed! I generally never write chapters that long, but it didn't feel right to just randomly cut it in half (or thirds, heh).

SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah
6/4/19

I loved this sooo much. Perfect way to lighten up my day! Andy is sooo cute! :)

Merelan Merelan
6/4/19

NO!!! I love this version of Andy, want many many more chapters lol. :)

Merelan Merelan
3/25/19

@Merelan

Oh dear- did you want it to? D:

The main plot has 2 chapters to go (I think) but there’s a semi-lengthy epilogue that may not seem very necessary right now, but that will make a lot more sense after the prequel has been published.

SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah
3/25/19

Yay happy chapter... But is it time for the story to sashay away?!?

Merelan Merelan
3/23/19