“Holy diver, you’ve been down too long in the midnight sea, oh what’s becoming of me-“

“I’d like to be everything you want. Hey girl, lemme talk to ya. If I was your boyfriend-“

“We can take a ride on my big green tractor, we can go slow or we can go faster-“

“We can go to the park after dark, and smoke that tumble weed. As the marijuana burns we can-“

“Stay with me. Stay with me. Oh tonight you’re gonna stay with-“

“Seriously”, I snapped, swatting one of Oliver’s hands. “Pick a channel and stick with it.”

Oliver pouted from his spot next to me in the car. “There’s nothing but bollocks and cumdumpsters on the radio!” he exclaimed, reaching for the dial again.

I sighed. “Rod Stewart is not a cumdumpster.” I couldn’t wait to get rid of Oliver. He was kind of annoying. When he woke up this morning, I had to take him to a store to buy more meat to stave him off till he got home. He whined the entire time in the car about being hot or needing to pee or, now, not being able to find something on the radio.

“Psh, you never heard him before he was in the Faces”, Oliver muttered. “C’mon Thorne.”

“If you can’t make up your mind within the next five channels, I pick.”

“Five?! But that’s not enough-“

“Then I’m picking.” Oliver glowered a little when I found a station playing the
Eurhythmics.

“This is lame 80s goth shit”, Oliver grumbled.

“Well, you were being difficult.”

“No I wasn’t-oh, we’re getting close! Thorne take a left!” Oliver reached over and pushed the steering wheel, forcing me to take a harsh left onto a dirt road.

“Oliver! What the Hell?!” I gasped.

He ran a hand through his dark hair and shrugged. “You were going to miss the turn. You were going to drive right by my street.”

“No I wasn’t”, I groaned. “If you were paying attention to the road and not the radio-“

“I don’t have to. You’re the one driving.” I pressed my lips together and didn’t say anything as we drove deeper into the bayou. Oliver didn’t speak either until another dirt path appeared.

“Take this right”, he said. “It’s my driveway.”

“Your driveway?” I repeated. “Oliver, this looks like a road?”

“I have a large house and a large estate”, he shrugged. I made the turn which was kind of a path up a large hill. The dirt road slithered up the hill into a thicket of trees that got denser as we drove. Suddenly, there was a break in the trees. A large white plantation house came into view, decorated with brightly coloured flower beds and a cute carriage house. It also had the big wrap-around porch and Corinthian columns with a black shingled roof.

“Do you like it?” Oliver asked eagerly. “I’ve thought about selling it a few times but…there’s so much history here and well, who doesn’t like classic southern homes? All of the other vampires are jealous. They have modern villas or live in shanty shacks. Nothing with the beauty and care put into this. But they’re not as good at faking their own deaths so they can pass their houses down to themselves.”

“It’s beautiful”, I murmured, trying to count the windows.

Oliver smiled. “Do you want to come inside? I can give you a quick tour?”

“S-sure”, I answered. I parked the car and got out with Oliver who quickly jogged up to the shaded porch.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’moooon, Thorne! I’m going to get heat exhaust!” he whined. I stepped up the ancient wooden stairs, which surprisingly didn’t squeak from my weight. The paint wasn’t peeling, in fact it looked freshly scraped with a new coat replacing the old. Oliver unlocked the door once I was by his side and let me in. The entry hall had soft yellow walls with dark wooden floors and matching dark hall tables. On the left and right side were large archways where I could see other rooms and straight in front of us was a large staircase.

“Erm, to your left is the sitting room, the billiards room is to your right. Let’s go upstairs!” Oliver smiled. He rushed upstairs and pulled me after him. “All of the bedrooms are up here. Mine’s back here.” Oliver walked all the way down the hall to a pair of double doors that sat across from another pair. He chose the ones on the left and pushed the dark wooden planks open.

The walls were soft green with dark red and earthy yellow accents. There were windows to the right and across from the door, facing what were assumably the side and back yards. A large canopied bed faced us from a spot between windows on the back wall, with some pillows gathered up to make a perfect niche for watching the plasma screen TV to the left. “It’s not that great”, Oliver shrugged, walking in. I realized that to the left, hidden by the door, was a walk in closet, dresser, and changing screen. Oliver hid behind there and I could see his skinny silhouette changing clothes. He was so tall that his head peeked up over the screen. “Um, the bathroom, over there”, he called, pointing to another door on the left. “I renovated it so it’s fairly modern. The shower’s really nice if you want to wash the grave dust from you?”

I laughed and shook my head. Oliver reappeared wearing skinnys and a flannel shirt. “Damn, I’m such a nice grandfather”, he sighed. “Always leaving myself the best stuff. Come feel this bed! It’s a Tempurpedic!”

Oliver jumped on his bed and waved for me to come over so I did. I pressed a hand down only to feel it get sucked into the mattress. “No, that’s not how you feel a bed, you daft twit”, Oliver laughed. He grabbed me by the waist and yanked me down. My head hit the pillow and I felt the urge to sleep. The mattress was made of memory foam and I could literally feel it swallowing my body. “Isn’t this nice?” Oliver asked. “Beds have come such a long way since I was born. Dear Christ, I remember when I was a kid and all it was was skins and some hay.”

I closed my eyes and listened to Oliver talk. His voice was sing songy, his accent causing him to pronounce different vowels in a strange melodic way. He sounded happy with his house, like he was a little kid that had just moved into a really cool castle. I had to keep reminding myself that Oliver was 600 something and not an overgrown six year old. “Oliver…what was it like when you were a kid?” I asked. I picked a question that I knew would have a lengthy answer just so I could hear his voice talk to me until I passed out.

“Erm, dirty. I had lots of siblings since, you know, in the day most of them were going to die. A lot of the older ones died in a small second outbreak of the Plague the year I was born, which for the record is exactly 1400. My family was poor. We were farm hands. I had a brother who wanted to join the royal army but…that never happened. He got pneumonia, a fairly nasty case of it too. Oh, I had a sister with epilepsy who was locked away in a loony bin for being possessed. And-Thorne, are you awake? You’re starting to fall asleep.”

“I’m awake”, I mumbled. Cold fingertips gripped my chin and jerked my head up. My eyes snapped open and I locked eyes with Oliver.

“No you’re not”, he chuckled. “You’re sleeping!”

“Well-“

“Well nothing”, Oliver smiled. He sat me up and beamed. “Go home and get some sleep but be back here by seven with your siblings so you can try my Cajun shrimp, alright?”

“You want me back here?” I questioned.

Oliver rolled his eyes. “Of course! We’re friends now!”

I nodded slowly and stood up. Oliver helped me get downstairs and get in my car. “Seven. Remember that”, he said sternly.

“I know”, I replied.

Oliver reached through the window and kissed my hand softly. His lips felt like electricity on my skin. Quickly he pulled away and grinned. “Remember, love, Ballsack isn’t the only one with your scent”, he winked. I tried to wrap my head around what that meant and why he kissed my hand. I was at least a little more alert now, just enough that I was semi-agitated when he kicked my car tires. “Get going!” he yelled. “You can’t see me if you get home late and sleep in!” I smirked and turned on the car. Oliver waved enthusiastically at me.

“I’ll see you later!” he called. “Either for dinner or a late night snack!” From his grin, I knew he was joking but it still made me shiver. The thought of being eaten wasn’t really appealing so I decided that tonight Nikki, Valerie, and I would take Oliver’s offer of free shrimp in turn for the safety of my neck.

Notes

Andy has an actual role as of the next chapter :D

(by the way, I never listen to BVB anymore because I can't find anything I like sooo if anyone wants to recommend some songs? Yeah, that'd be nice O.o)