Babysitter or Hero

I wake up to beeping. I look around and see I'm hooked up to machine. It all dones on me. I start to feel like crying fuck Turquoise where is she is she ok? A nurse walks in and says "Andy Ray Watson."
"Yes."
"Ok your up."
"Where is Turquoise?"
"Who?"
"The girl I brought in."
"Oh her. You can see her when the doctor sines the release papers. He said he would sine them when you wake up. Here's your clothes in the meantime. I'll be back in ten minutes." She leaves and I get changed. 10 minutes later. The nurse comes back in and says "ok sents you changed and the doctor signed the release papers. I'll take you to her." She leads me down a long hallway. Every room we go by it looks like the people in the rooms are sicker and sicker. I hope Turquoise is ok and not really sick. We get to the end of the hallway and she goes into a room. I follow her into the room. I see Turquoise hooked up to more machines then I was.
I go to her bedside and say "what's wrong with her?"
I wake up to beeping. I look around and see I'm hooked up to machine. It all dones on me. I start to feel like crying fuck Turquoise where is she is she ok? A nurse walks in and says "Andy Ray Watson."
"Yes."
"Ok your up."
"Where is Turquoise?"
"Who?"
"The girl I brought in."
"Oh her. You can see her when the doctor sines the release papers. He said he would sine them when you wake up. Here's your clothes in the meantime. I'll be back in ten minutes." She leaves and I get changed. 10 minutes later. The nurse comes back in and says "ok sents you changed and the doctor signed the release papers. I'll take you to her." She leads me down a long hallway. Every room we go by it looks like the people in the rooms are sicker and sicker. I hope Turquoise is ok and not really sick. We get to the end of the hallway and she goes into a room. I follow her into the room. I see Turquoise hooked up to more machines then I was.
I go to her bedside and say "what's wrong with her?" "She's in a coma. If your didn't bring her in when you did she would be dead."
"We need a nurse in bay 202." Someone outside said. The nurse runs out and I drop to my knees. "This is my fault this is my fault." I repeat to myself 20 times. I get up off the ground and look at her. I feel tears starting to drop down my face. I move the hair from her face and hold her hand "why did this happen? Why did I leave? Why oh why? For the rest of the day I stay in the room and fall asleep in one of the chairs. I wake up in the room I stay with her for an hour. I leave and try to find my car. 30 minutes later I find my car. I get in and drive to my house. 1 hour later. I get to my house. I go in and make me something to eat then take a shower and change into dark blue jeans a red tank top. 6 hours and 30 minutes later. I get back to Turquoise's room. I sit in a chair next to her and sing. Quiet as I watch you falling
You become the pray again
I can see your skin is crawling
Lipstick cases and sin

Wake up, wake up, wake up
Your drowning, same old song n' dance
Wake up, wake up, wake up, My darling,
Never stood a chance

Lost in love you are
Out of touch so far
An illusion
It's all just smoke and mirrors

Always chasing scars
Never gets you far
An illusion
It's all just Smoke and Mirrors

Hear it in her voice
She's stalling
"You were just another man"
Your claims of love are falling
Now it's clear you can't win

Wake up, wake up, wake up
Hearts pounding, praying for romance
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
It's sounding, time to try again

Lost in love you are
Out of touch so far
An illusion
It's all just smoke and mirrors

Always chasing scars
Never gets you far
An illusion
It's all just smoke and mirrors

I'd rather be alone
Than put you on a throne
And lose my faith in
Smoke and mirrors

Black painted eyes
Cover the lies
It's time you threw away your cruel disguise

Lost in love you are
Out of touch so far
An illusion
It's all just Smoke and Mirrors

Always chasing scars
Never gets you far
An illusion
It's all just smoke and mirrors

I'd rather be alone
Than put you on a throne
And lose my faith in
Smoke and Mirrors
I wake up to Turquoise flat lining. I jump up dropping the book to the floor and moving the chair three feet back. I go to the door way and say "DOCTOR DOCTOR DOCTOR I NEED A DOCTOR IN HERE!" Four nurses and a doctor come running in. They push me back. They start to work on her for 20 minutes. It's the fifth time there shocking her and the doctor say "call it." Call it starts to repeat in my head tears starts falling down to the floor like a waterfall. No no no no this can't be. Not Turquoise. Why why did I have to leave. Wall the nurse says "time of death 3:37am." I push them out of the way and hold Turquoise in my arms. "No you can't go. You can't be gone. You can't do this to me or your brother. I love you. You can't leave your to young to die. Stay with me. I kiss her head and look at the doctor he says "you have to leave and if you don't we will have to thow you out. We we'll contact her brother. You can't do anything for her now." I put Turquoise down and leave the hospital. I go to my car and drive home speeding not careing. 23 minutes later. I get home I go up to my room and cry myself to sleep. I wake up and go downstairs and get something to eat. 2 months later. I wake up. I look at the calendar and see it's Turquoise funeral tomorrow. I grab a bottle of beer by my bed. Empty figures. I go downstairs and grab my whisky bottle and drink it. 3 bottles or whiskey 10 beers and 30 shots later. "I have become trash. Showing up to work drunk. Drinking all day and night for a month. I drink 3 vodka bottles and 5 more beers. Darkness starts to suranound me. I fall on the table. I see Turquoise.
"Turquoise?"
"Andy don't do this stop."
"I don't think I can. I miss you."
"I know but don't do this. You have a life to live don't kill yourself please I love you. I don't want to see you here intill it's your time."
I start crying "but Turquoise."
"No buts if you love me you well stop."
"I do love you."
"Good." She leans into me and closes her eyes I close my eyes. She kisses me and I kiss back. We part. Tears in my eyes not wanting to let go.

Notes

Don't be mad at me.