Hawke and the Order of the Brides

ANDY


This was the realest dream I’d ever encountered. I could smell the festering cesspool they called Kirkwall. Taste the pig-spit that was the Hanged Man’s ale. I could even reach out and touch Ezrathanis, a character I’d made for Dragonage using mods. Though I found it weird that each one of them knew about Hawke since Ezrathanis was supposed to be my Hawke. Maybe in this dream they co-existed. The only thing I didn’t like was how Ezrathanis, a girl I’d created through my own interpretation of perfection, was obsessed with Fenris. I strongly doubted the others had noticed how much time she spent staring at him then again, whenever I played the game, I always played a female and always romanced Fenris. First of all, because the female characters in Dragonage have the absolute most amazing hips to watch and second, Fenris was the coolest man in the game (assuming you play a female Hawke; if you play a guy then obviously you’d be the coolest). Even still, since it was my dream, I’d assume that the fictional love of my life would choose me, her creator, over an arrogant, mage hater like Fenris. Maybe I was a lucid dreamer and could change things around though.

“Andy, it’s your go”, Isabella smiled. I looked up from my hand of cards into the face of the lusty pirate captain. She looked even more realistic in my dream. “Play something, kitten.”

“Why should he?” Fenris scoffed. He’d made a point to sit away from Anders, Merrill, Ezrathanis, and even Bethany. He was comfortably squished between Isabella and Hawke. “We all know you’re cheating so what’s the point in trying?”

“Me? Cheat?” Isabella giggled.

“Naughty, naughty, Revaini”, Varric reminded her. I held back a laugh as Ezrathanis sent him a look.

“You’re cheating too, Tethras”, Ezrathanis smirked. “Don’t be a hypocrite.”

“Zed, you wound me!”

“‘Zed, you’re calling me out!’” she corrected. “Here, I’ll shuffle. We’ll play a new hand.”

Fenris glowered behind a tankard. “You’ll probably use your magic to cheat yourself, witch”, he growled. Ezrathanis’s eyes fell.

“I’ll shuffle and help everyone else cheat”, I proffered, taking the cards from her. The elf woman sent me a small glare that I didn’t understand. What did I do?

“It’s not cheating if we’re taking advantage of you”, Varric chuckled.

I grinned back at him and began shuffling the cards for a new game of Wicked Grace. “So Andy, what do you do? Where are you from?” Bethany asked politely.

“You don’t sound like you’re from around here”, Hawke added.

“I’m from a place called Ohio”, I said, knowing it meant nothing to them. “I’m in a band.”

“Band of thugs?” Merrill wondered.

“Band of incredibly attractive men?” suggested Isabella.

“No, we play music”, I informed.

Ezrathanis glanced at me. “So, you’re a bard then?” she guessed.

“You could say that”, I nodded. “I’m part of the Black Veil Brides.”

“The Order of the Black Veil Brides?” Merrill asked. “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“Merrill!” Anders lectured.

“Did I say something wrong? I’m so sorry, Andy!”

I waved my hand and began dealing. “It’s fine, Merrill. I’m not offended.”

“Thank the Creators. Would you tell me if you were? I’m afraid I’m not very good at speaking to shemlen like you.”

“If it makes you feel better”, I shrugged. “So Aveline goes first?”

The redhead next to me nodded. “Right. I have two mockingbirds.”

“And I have four sirens”, smirked Isabella. Ezrathanis pulled out a small smoking pipe that she packed with herbs. Fenris wrinkled his nose but laid his own cards down on the table as Ezrathanis enjoyed the wait for her turn. Hawke followed Fenris’s turn only to be beaten by Varric, whose hand also beat Anders. Merrill laid down something random in hopes that it would win her something before Bethany followed, laying down cards that didn’t beat Merrill’s hand.

“Always a softie”, Ezrathanis whispered to me. “Her hand could easily outdo that.” The elf laid down her own selection of cards that I found difficult to counter. She smiled a smoky smile at me. “I on the other hand, am not”, she cooed. Aveline helped me find cards to use. One would think that because it’s my dream, I’d be the winner but no. That would be too easy. I struggled through the game to Isabella and Varric’s amusement before Aveline made a suggestion.

“Andy, you should come and train with the guards sometime”, she said. “We’re low on recruits and you look able bodied.”

“Seriously?” both Fenris and I asked.

Aveline gave us both firm stares though smiled. “He’s fit”, she said confidently. “Perhaps he could train as an archer?”

“You’d let him replace the devilishly handsome dwarf and his remarkable crossbow, Bianca?” Varric gasped over dramatically. “Oh, Aveline, how could you do this to me?!”

“Nobody said he had to accompany us”, Fenris pointed out. Hawke ruffled his white hair.

“And just why not?” Hawke asked. “Maybe having a new comer would be good! Someone who won’t whine about the plight of mages or the dog pit we call Fereldan.” I was shocked to hear her say that but I forgot I normally played anti-magic characters. Maybe I should've expected it. “You should try it, Andy. You look like you’d make a good archer.”

“Of course!” I beamed. “Where should I meet you, Aveline?”

The redhead gave me a nod of approval. “We’re taking the newest recruits to the Wounded Coast tomorrow to bring down a few suspected caravan raids”, Aveline explained. “I’d love to see you there.”

“We should go cheer him on!” squealed Hawke.

“Yes, let’s go see the strange man perform menial training tasks”, Fenris grumbled.

“Don’t be so upset, elf”, Anders stated. “There’s bound to be something you can rip the heart out of.”

“Funny.”

“It’s really not”, Ezrathanis murmured. “You’re joking about the wrongdoings of the magisters.”

Anders frowned. “Why would you defend Fenris?”

“I’m not. I’m defending my brethren”, Ezrathanis shrugged. I saw right past her facade. She hated Fenris’s markings and wanted an excuse to scold Anders for picking on him. “What the magisters do to the elves in Tevinter is repulsive.”

“Don’t pretend you wouldn’t sink to their level”, Fenris snapped. “Any mage like yourself would become a slave owner and blood mage to have half the power of a magister.”

Ezrathanis glared before standing up and storming out of Varric’s suite. A few of us stared after her before Isabella coughed. “So um...another round?” she asked lamely.

Anders glared at Fenris who started a screaming match. I looked to Hawke and excused myself. “I’m going to go talk to her”, I stated. “Surely, it isn’t safe for a lone woman to be so far from the alienage at this time of night.” Hawke dismissed me.

I had played this game so many times, I knew there might be thugs out but in my dream, surely there wouldn’t be. Ezrathanis was already rounding a corner and I had to sprint to catch up with her. “Hey, where ya going, Zed?”

“Home.”

I gripped her wrist. “Was it Fenris?”

She stopped to glare at me, pale pouty lips parting as disgust crept over her. “It has nothing to do with him”, she spat.

“You don’t have to lie to me. I don’t know a lot but I think I know enough.” I knew more than enough. I had made Ezrathanis. My creation sighed and looked down at the ground.

“Andy, how are mages where you’re from?”

“We don’t have any.”

“Because you make them all tranquil?” she guessed. “Wonderful. Fenris would love you.”

“That’s not what I meant”, I said hurriedly. “We just...don’t have any. And I’m sure if we did, people would love them. People love Harry Potter.”

“What?”

I scratched my neck. “It’s a series about a boy who does magic”, I explained. “What we don’t love are discriminate asses like Fenris. You don’t need to hang yourself up on a dick like him.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” I smiled at her and she sent me a faint one back. “You can let go of my wrist now, Andy. I swear, I’m just going home.”

“Let me escort you then.”

Ezrathanis paused but eventually nodded. “Alright. But you’re just coming to the door, not inside.”

“That’s fine. I just want to be sure you’re safe.”

“Says the unarmed boy”, Ezrathanis giggled, eyeing me up and down. She gripped my hand and cautiously, we made our way to the elven alienage, the ghetto where the elves lived in Lowtown.

Notes