I made an effort to walk in as leisurely a fashion as possible to Father’s stable, running through a mental list of his stallions rapidly in my head. Danzig, Doyle, Jerry Only, and Michale Graves were the only four that I wasn’t breeding this season. Danzig was notoriously unpredictable, and a cantankerous old man, he was absolutely off the list. Michale was too hard for a woman to control. I would steer (Y/N) away from him. Hopefully she wouldn’t see Michale, she’d probably go ga-ga over his splendid mane. Ugh! That left Doyle or-

“Andrew?” I looked down at (Y/N). Had she been talking? She was lovely, but completely bizarre! Speaking to me as though she were a man that knew me well? She must be out of her mind!

“Hrm? I’m sorry, I was preoccupied-“ I wasn’t sure how to politely ask what I had missed, if anything…

“-When you lapse into silence while leading me around like a puppy it makes me feel like a jewelry bangle or some other object. I prefer conversation, unless your thoughts were profound and need be private.” I sucked in a little breath.

This girl had balls bigger than mine! “No, I apologize. I was considering my father’s stallions. There are four that are not being bred, and I was pondering which would be most appropriate.”

(Y/N) tilted her head. “Well, which one do you think would like to go out for a ride the most, Andrew?” She said that like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I knew the answer to that, but said nothing, just shrugged, preferring she be charmed by Michale’s mane to that. Anything but that!

Quickly I decided to try and steer her towards Jerry. He was very gentle for a stallion. Unfortunately, to get to Jerry, we had to walk past Danzig. Hopefully, (Y/N) wasn’t terribly eagle-eyed, and wouldn’t take notice of him.

We entered my father’s stable and a flood of happy memories briefly filled me at the familiar sight… Only to have the moment ruined by the sound of Danzig kicking at his stall walls, quickly followed by the sound of him cribbing. I stopped walking, gritting my teeth.

I hated cribbing! Danzig ONLY did it when I was in the stable! I was convinced that he taught other horses to do it! Why did Danzig do it when I was around? I heard the noise again, and scowled, wavering on whether or not to yell at the old stallion. I knew it would do no good, and I didn’t want to draw (Y/N)’s attention to him.

I felt her squeeze my arm. “What is it, is it the cribber? Stall vices irritate you?”

I looked down at her, surprised enough that (Y/N) should know what cribbing and the vices of horses were that I had momentarily lost my irritation. “Yes. It’s my father’s old warhorse, Danzig. He only cribs around me, and it drives me to madness, I don’t know why he does it!”

She shook her head. “It’s obvious to me, Andrew. You’re the pampered, only son of the family, and if Danzig is retired, he’s probably extremely bored and jealous of the attention you receive. I suggest either you or your father spend more time with him. May I see him?”

Fuck! But (Y/N)’s eyes were so big and soft… I figured just letting her glance at the wicked beast wouldn’t do too much harm, from a distance. Doyle’s stall was nearby, after all, hopefully I could divert her. “Uh, I suppose, but he’s very unpredictable-“

“-Excellent! I’ll need a hoof pick, a comb, a brush, a halter and lead, and depending on how that goes, perhaps tack for later-“

“-But!-“

She continued on in a tone that shocked me. “-Will you please just shut your mouth and tell me where to get those things? Clearly the old stallion wants some attention! The worst thing that could possibly happen is that I am killed. In that event, you have my full permission to say that I ran into the stall against your urging. The advantage of that would be that you are spared the trouble of turning down my parents and yet another prospective bride, yes?”

I stared at (Y/N), horrified. It was totally taboo to acknowledge that sort of thing before she and her family left. Besides, not wanting to be her husband didn’t mean I wanted her dead.

“The other alternative would be that your father’s old warhorse gets some exercise, his hooves picked, and he gets groomed. So are you going to help or not, Lord Biersack? Hmm?” My mouth fell open.

(Y/N) had used the honorary I hadn’t earned yet. I was still just my father’s son. She was calling me a stuck up twat, more or less. Well, two could play that game! “Very well, Lady (Y/L/N). I will be your stable hand, and fetch your supplies, so you may demonstrate your incredible proficiency with stallion handling, and try and braid the mane of my father’s deadly warhorse, as you so desire. But a moment, my sweetest flower!”

I went to the tack room and fetched (Y/N) her things, trying to be pissed instead of impressed. Ultimately, I decided that, should Danzig attack her, I would do what I could to stop the fiend and save her. I couldn’t help but admire her ferocity. (Y/N) was unlike any woman I’d ever met.

I walked with (Y/N) to Danzig’s stall. It was ridiculously large, my father loved the big oaf. He hadn’t been out to ride him in at least three weeks, though. Danzig barrel-kicked the stall as soon as he saw me, laying his ears back. I tried not to let it get to me.

“Oooh, look at his scars! What is he, he’s so handsome!” I looked at (Y/N) and saw she genuinely seemed to like him. I hoped she had some small ability to read equine body language, or I wasn’t going to let her in his stall.

“Danzig is a Shire, he’s over 30 years old, but still kicking, as you can see,” I said dryly. It was true, Danzig was older than I was.

“I know just what he needs! I’ll be right back!” What? I turned and watched (Y/N) leave out of the side of the stable.

(Y/N) was a mystery. I looked at Danzig, but he had no answers for me, though he was interested enough to watch her go, ears fully up. Since no one was watching, I decided to try (Y/N)’s advice. “Danzig, is more attention what you need, my boy?”

Danzig eyed me suspiciously, but with less rancor than usual. I remembered I had horse cookies in my pocket. Deciding to experiment, I offered him one. I’d never tried it before, so I didn’t know if he would care for it. I was surprised when he accepted it after only a brief sniff, munching happily. I wiped my hands on my trousers, pleased, glad he was still able to chew it despite having so few teeth left. Though I felt far from having made a new friend, I felt like perhaps he might hate me a bit less. “If you don’t hurt this woman, I will give you another, old man.” Danzig eyed me warily and snorted; I hoped that was an agreement to the terms.

Soon (Y/N) returned with several handfuls of green grass. She gave me a baleful look. “Don’t start, Andrew! I know he’s an older horse that shouldn’t eat a lot of green grass, but this is a special occasion, and it’s only a few handfuls!”

I shrugged and opted to refrain from any smartass comments. (Y/N) needed to be able to focus if she was going in there with that devilspawn. She took the brush, comb, and pick from me and set them down on the table near the stall door. Then she took the halter and lead, rolling her eyes at the stallion chain I’d put on.

As she went to open the stall I couldn’t help myself. “You halter a horse from-“

“-the left, Biersack.” I decided to just stay silent after that. But I most definitely left the stall door open, and stood right at the entrance, at the ready. To hand her things, to pull her corpse out, to fend off Danzig, whatever it took.

Instead, I watched (Y/N) offer Danzig handfuls of grass, which he ate happily. When he got rebellious over being haltered, she elbowed him, hard, and spoke to him harshly. The second time she tried it, he tried to back away, and (Y/N) grabbed Danzig by the muzzle and twisted, bringing his whole head down as though it were in a twitch. “No!” She yelled, and my balls tried to crawl into my abdomen.

I was about to watch my father’s old warhorse kill a beautiful, stupid, young woman! Danzig fidgeted, and (Y/N) elbowed him again, but did not release her twitch-hold. Minutes passed in silence. Slowly, Danzig began to droop. With her free hand, (Y/N) began to stroke his neck softly and tell him how fine he was. After some twenty minutes, she released her hold, and haltered him without issue.

I then handed (Y/N) her supplies at her request, and watched her brush and comb my father’s cranky old warhorse without any major protests! She picked out his feet, and he stood for it perfectly, raising each of them in turn, without striking. When she actually did go ahead and braid both his bloody mane and tail, I couldn’t help but make a face, but Danzig seemed to like the attention, especially the neck scratches.

(Y/N) fondly slapped at Danzig’s breast. “You’re just a big, old muffin, aren’t you?” A muffin? “Where can I put his tack on?”

God! I couldn’t believe this was happening! If (Y/N) was riding Danzig, and we were the only riders, I couldn’t ride one of my stallions, Danzig would be a thousand times more likely to misbehave; he was out of practice! I couldn’t ride a mare either, he’d surely try and mount her! That left either a decrepit gelding or…

I had the perfect solution, but still… My ego preferred riding flashy stallions, especially in front of pretty ladies. Having visiting women riding the warhorse while I was riding a gentle, older mare didn’t sit well with my self-image. Ugh. At least (Y/N) would just be riding Danzig, I would have had difficulty living it down if she had gotten what she wanted originally and gone tearing around the property on one of my boys! “If we leave him here for the moment, I will let the stable hands know to have him readied for you, and a horse for myself as well.”

Notes

Aww, meet Danzig!

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Cribbing: An abnormal, compulsive behavior or stereotypy seen in some horses, and considered a stable vice. It involves the horse grabbing a solid object such as the stall door or fence rail with its incisors, then arching its neck, pulling against the object, and sucking in air.

Stable vices: Habits of horses that are stereotypies and repetitive. Usually undesirable habits that develop as a result of being confined to a stable with insufficient exercise, boredom, hunger, excess energy, or isolation. They can lead to damage to property, health problems to the animal, and may be signs of an animal welfare issue. Examples include wood chewing, cribbing, weaving, wall kicking, biting, bolting feed, circling, and pawing or digging.

Hoof pick: A tool used to clean out a horse's hooves of all the impacted dirt/manure.

Halter: what is placed on a horse's head to guide it from place to place when it is generally not being ridden, and there is no bit in its mouth. There is a lead rope attached by its chin that the handler may hold or slung over the horse's neck while they are working in the stall. If the horse is out of the stall, in a halter, it can be attached to the 'ties' that same spot.

Tack: a very general term for riding gear. This would include a lot of things: saddles, stirrups, bridles, reins, (technically halters too), martingales, breastplates, hackamores, harnesses, and bits are all different kinds of tack with different purposes.