Intergalactic Prison

The moment was broken when I felt Andy shaking a bit on top of me. For a perverse second, I thought he hadn’t actually gotten off yet, or that he was already wanting to go at it again. But when I felt the dampness on the pillow by my neck and head, I realized he was crying.

Instantly, I felt terrible as clarity returned. I started to rub him gently on his back. “It’s ok… it’s ok-“

Andy abruptly got up on his arms and pulled out, leaving me feeling empty and unwanted. I heard him fussing, and the telltale sound of the condom hitting the floor, again.

Embarrassed, I moved back under the sheet and scooted to the side, to make room for Andy. I held the blanket up for him, and was surprised when he grabbed the sheet and crawled under that too, next to me, though he faced away.

Cautiously, I started to rub his shoulder. He was still trembling, and I could hear his soft sniffles. “It’s ok, just let it all out-“

Andy turned around to face me, kneeing my shin in the process. “-It’s like I can’t help myself! It just feels like what I’m supposed to be doing; sex with you feels so good! But I’m in love with Jules, and I’ve fucked up everything now!”

I sighed as Andy started sobbing into the pillow. Again, tentatively, I pulled him into a hug, unsure if he would be ok with it while we were still naked. I was glad when he grasped me back firmly; he seemed to need one. “She’ll understand; I’ll tell her how we were both drugged. I’m sure she’ll understand, it will be ok…“

After a while, Andy calmed a little, and I kept rubbing his arm. “I hope so. I mean, it’s not like we care about each other in that way, right? It’s just physical; it’s just the drugs. Right?”

With a bolt of terror, I realized I wasn’t sure anymore how I felt. I started to panic, and had to force myself to keep rubbing his arm, to try and hide any signs of what I was thinking. “I, uh, I’m sure she’ll understand. You’re being drugged. We're both being drugged.”

When I felt Andy cup my face and then run his fingers through my hair, I felt different about it than I had before. “You think so?”

I had to force the words to come out, it was like moving them through a coating of cold syrup. “Sure she will…”

That seemed to be enough of what Andy needed to hear. He’d apparently exhausted himself, and I soon felt his arm grow heavy on my neck as his breathing steadied and lightened. I took the moment to try and examine what the hell had just happened. Not the sex, but… Did I care about Andy, in that way? Should I tell him I wasn’t sure?

I decided that I definitely shouldn’t say anything. While it might increase the chances of escape, I wasn’t sure what Kama would do to Andy if it discovered that only one of us had the kind of feelings it was trying to generate. So, for the time, I just let myself enjoy the closeness, in the dark, with Andy. Fantasies of a nonexistent future together drifted through my mind aimlessly before I finally fell asleep.

Notes