(Y/N)’s POV

“Wake up! Hurry! Are you dressed?” ... Andy?

I sat up, half asleep, still a bit drunk, and totally confused. “Whut, mmmm?”

“Lights, you fucker, lights!” I blinked heavily as the lights came on.

I turned, still dazed, and saw Andy standing in the doorway, facing away from me. He was in nothing but shorts and holding a metal bar. Eh? “Whut th’fuk?”

Andy groaned theatrically. “Are you wearing clothes? You know, clothes…”

Irritated, I scoffed. “More than you.” I rubbed at my goopy eyes. “What do you want? It’s the middle of the night-”

Andy turned, and he looked totally exasperated. Oh shit, now what? “-Fucking tell me about it! My bed, my clothes, they’re all gone again! And the ship is trying to cook me alive again!”

With that, Andy started to hop from foot to foot. “Shit! Shit, ok, come here, sit down. Shit!”

I scooted over so that Andy could sit cross-legged on the bed. As soon as he sat down, he put his head in one of his hands, still gripping the metal bar with the other. I gingerly poked the floor with a toe, and found it was warm near where he had walked, to get to the bed. Damn it.

I frowned, still not thinking clearly. I felt the need to make conversation. “Why are you carrying that thing?”

Andy glanced up at me, hunched over and looking dejected. “In case I need it. Obviously.”

I rolled my eyes at his aggro attitude. I hadn’t done anything! He was the masturbating pervert, he was the one with the girlfriend, he was the famous rock star, and everything was probably his fault! He even had memories, and he certainly wasn’t using them to get us out of this!

Then Andy took me off guard. After a sigh, he sat up a bit and faced me. “Look, I’m sorry, ok? I’m just so damned stressed! Kama said it’s going to round us up and make us have sex every fucking day!”

Still vaguely dazed from sleep, I processed what Andy said slowly, and ended up laughing. He looked horrified. “What’s so funny about that?”

I struggled to calm down. “What’s not funny about that? Being manipulated into fucking every day? I mean, what the hell?!? And you said ‘every fucking day,’ it was, like a pun-“

Andy groaned, though it turned into a small chuckle. “-Oh, no… that was bad, man! Are you a pun person?” He snickered quietly, shaking his head.

I looked at the ground, then at Andy, realizing I had a major issue to address. “I have to pee. Am I going to get burned if I try and-“

Predictably, Kama piped up with an answer, startling me. “You will have 20 minutes to use the restroom. If you stray, you will receive firm guidance.”

I snorted before hoisting myself off the bed and trotting quickly to the bathroom. Hopefully I wasn’t super constipated…

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Andy’s POV

I realized I was really exhausted while (Y/N) was in the bathroom. I briefly considered trying to sleep with my feet towards (Y/N)’s head. But I just knew I’d smack the shit out of my forehead on some stupid space-platform, when I woke up, if I tried that.

Worried that I might get one of those crazy, uncontrollable boners at any moment, my mind raced to make a plan. I felt like I couldn’t concentrate adequately, I was too tired…

That was it! I would conquer the boner threat by going to sleep first! Excited, I shouted out to (Y/N). “I have to go to bed! Right now!”

I could hear (Y/N) sigh loudly. “I’m peeing. I won’t talk to you while I’m peeing!”

I was too happy to have grasped on to some slim thread of hope to wait on societal niceties. “I’m going to sleep! Good night!”

I quickly positioned myself over the sheet, but under the blanket, so that (Y/N) could easily slide in when she was done. Optimistic, I closed my eyes, determined to go to sleep.

I was actually so tired, I only half heard (Y/N)’s reply. “No talking when I’m going to the bathroom!”

Notes

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The FBI determined some months ago that hacking, originating from Russia, was having an influence on our electoral process. These hackers interfered with our presidential election through attempted and successful penetration of email and voter registration databases, among other systems. This created fear, uncertainty, and doubt about the safety of our electoral processes.

Computers tabulated the vast majority of the 129 million votes cast in the presidential election, and polls were wildly off. Did hackers manipulate the results by compromising voting equipment? Did other problems, glitches, or errors affect the outcome?

There's a simple, relatively inexpensive way to find out: audit the electronic results against the paper ballots used by about 75% of U.S. voters.

American democracy depends on public trust of our electoral process, and public trust requires a trustworthy process.

Please sign to demand that election officials double-check the electronic results by conducting a "risk-limiting" audit of the presidential election in every state that uses paper ballots.

Demand An Audit Of The 2016 Presidential Election

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Along similar lines:

As my arch-nemesis has also mentioned in her notes recently, there is a petition online to ask the electoral college to change their votes to reflect the will of the majority/popular vote. They certainly are allowed to do this, and even in states where they are not supposed to, they only need pay a fine. Additionally, in several key states ('won' by trump, including Pennsylvania), the validity of the electronic voting has recently been called into question.

Thus, it is the only just course of action to sign the following petition. It already has the support of well over 1% of the USA's population, which is record-breaking:

Electoral College: Make Hillary Clinton President on December 19, 2016