I got lost in the woods on my sixth birthday. I was upset, I don’t remember why, but I remember feeling hurt and betrayed. At first, I was just running into the woods for the attention, knowing if my family and friends thought I was running away, they’d come after me and apologize for any wrongdoing they’d done to me.

However, I went a little further than I intended, and I got turned around and mixed up. It’d been twenty minutes and no one had come after me, and it peeved me off that they weren’t falling into my perfect plan. So after some contemplation, I decided to head back on my own.

It was taking much longer to get back than I remembered. How far had I come?...

Well, the entire time I was under the impression that I was headed in the right direction that would take me home, but in reality I was marching headlong into the forest, making myself hopelessly lost.

It was twenty minutes later that I gave up on denial and started crying. I squirmed up on top of a large boulder in the woods and wailed as loudly and painfully as I could. I bawled for around ten minutes before my Dad stumbled through the foliage, looking relieved to see me. He frowned, but came to me anyways to console me. It must’ve been pretty obvious I’d just gotten lost, because I was too distraught to just be mad over something stupid, and too upset for it to be my original plan.

I don’t remember coming home, but I remembered the lecture that followed. Something along the lines of “You can’t run away from your problems. Face them and talk about them, it will make it easier to overcome them.”

At the young age of six, I didn’t entirely comprehend what he was getting at, but I tried to interpret it in a way that worked for me. It’s meaning changed over the years, but the message remained the same.

I’m not sure exactly what in that moment brought that particular memory back to mind. Rather it was just the hopeless, pressing feeling of being in unfamiliar surroundings without a map that reminded me of that day, or something else.

The mountain that the lighthouse resided on top of was starting to flatten out into a gradual slope. From where I was on the other side, the afternoon sunlight could no longer reach me. I stood in the dim shadows beneath the trees, with the cheerful chirp of birds around me ushering me onwards.

What was it about the idea of seeing that lighthouse that made all of this worth it? Would it be worth it? I hoped so. Because if I get lost and mauled by one of those malicious California bears, I'm gonna be ticked.

I suppose there's a lot of things I should be ticked about, now, huh?... Andy has been both the best and worst thing that has happened to me. Positive and negative effects came from him attaching himself to me, and for the most part, the results were okay, but still... I feel like I sugarcoat his exitstence too much. I bow to him, thinking of him as this wonderful creature much greater than my feeble human existence.

However, the truth to this was, he was just like me, just slightly different with some cool power ups. It was just how remarkably kind, handsome and charismatic that he was that made him feel like something greater. The problem was, I've never put myself on a pedestal, and I've almost never compared myself to others, weighing my losses and differences to theirs and sneering in jealousy at their perfect lives. I've always carried on quietly in my small life, living each day in the air of my beliefs, without much creativity and excitement for what lies beyond the walls of my religion.

Andy was the incarnation of what lied beyond. And his very existence had been enough to shake my faith, the strongest tether in my life, the anchor of my existence. The possibility of there being no God, no afterlife, and no great cloudy ending filled with everyone you love in glittering gold suits, it shook me to my core. All my life I never questioned my religion because I was so comfortable living under the assumption that it all existed without much proof other than some manicured tales passed down from gospel gossipers. The acts of God and the miracles he brings when you pray for them, maybe they were pretty far-fetched.

I mean, what are you supposed to imagine when you think of God? My initial thoughts are images of a shiny kingdom with this massive, bearded man guarding it all, shaking his head as his tiny citizens on earth made sins against him.

Andy claimed to have never had a run in with the Holy One. He did not mention ever crossing paths with the mythical man, or any angels, or really anything that pointed fingers at the Bible. He just said he woke in his spirit form without much information on what the hell he was supposed to do, and he adapted on his own...

But then there's all that 'Guardian Angel' talk he had, part of the reason he chose, and perhaps, was allowed, to stay.

And that... Brings me back to one of our previous conversations. The one we'd had on Alluki Beach about all the extra factors of being a ghost.

This entire day, I'd been blocking one of the major ones from my thoughts not to worry. But he wasn't popping up anytime soon and he was gone without a trace... Was it possible that today is the day he disappears?

He'd mentioned it as a possibility. One of the perks of being a 'good' guardian. He'd be plucked from Earth, and pitched somewhere else to live an afterlife of happiness. But like the other afterlife related things he'd told me, I had to question it with faith and put my stock in the possibility of it all.

There were things that were obviously true about him, like being invisible and sleeping to 'recharge', but there were other things, like how he'd been introduced to the second life. He didn't give any specific entities or names, just that 'they' had told him so.

I reached up, grabbing a long branch, using it as a guide to climb around a large rock formation in my path, which had taken a cruel, steep turn. I furrowed my brow in deep thought and concern. Today could've been the day, and I might not have gotten a legitimate goodbye... But what could I do? I couldn't text him or call him to find out where he was and when he'd be back. I'd just have to trust that he would, like a loyal dog.

Like his twisted concept of sunsets, I'd have to hold out for the next great milestone in time. The sunset, the stars and the sunrise. Have faith in him, even if I can't see him.

I could see the trees thinning as I neared the top of the steep incline of rock. From what I could see from below, it bowed out over the water, hundreds of feet in the air. Getting to this point hadn't taken me nearly as long as I expected it to. I checked the time, and I was making good progress, I'd only been gone a half hour.

As I reached the top, the sun reached for me in splintered shards of yellow light, grazing my shoulders and arms as I made my way around trees, carefully maneuvering the steep parts where stone slabs jutted out from the rock face, covered in thick patches of lush, green moss. I was determined to reach the top to see the ancient structure, even if nothing more remained but a pile of brick declaring there had once been something there.

I feel excited, I've never seen anything quite like this, because in Pendant, there's really nothing like this there. No bodies of water big enough to require a massive stone structure to guide boats to the shore, just some lakes big enough to sustain the big crowds we got in the summertime.

My legs are aching and my chest is burning from exertion, but I'm still pushing myself forward to an unknown goal. I take another deep breath, and semi-hug a nearby aspen tree, crawling up around it onto a large stone outcropping that overlooked all the work I'd done thus far.

I collapsed to my knees when I reached it, bowing down momentarily to catch my breath. I hadn't been going very fast up the hill, but all the extra activities sapped my energy. Deep, achy breaths radiate from my chest, and I finally pull myself up from the ground and push my back against the aspen I recently groped, pressing my shoulder blades against the smooth white bark.

I was high enough off the ground now to have a comfortable view over the forest, some of the lake, and a brief glimpse of Berkeley beyond the trees and seemingly endless mountains. It's so beautiful up here.

The mythical lighthouse resided just on top of the hill. I'd have some more climbing to do to get it it, but I'm hopeful that it'll be worth it. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to change the song, taking notice that I had no cell service up here. It was completely cut off from socialization. I also noticed I had one unread text message.

I opened it, to find it was from CC, unsurprisingly.

- When are you coming back? The weather here has gone to shit. Weather guy is saying there will probably be some flooding.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, in all my life, living comfortably in Pendant, we’d never really had any bad weather. Maybe a blizzard every few years, but otherwise, the weather was pretty neutral. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control in succession, and the real whacks to the knees seemed to have happened shortly after my departure.

I laughed quietly to myself, mostly just to ward off the feeling of encroaching insanity. I’d been sitting here long enough, time to keep moving, I suppose... Anything to distract myself.

Getting up, I collected myself, heaved a deep, excited breath, and proceeded up the last of the mountain to the tall chunk of rock where the lighthouse presumably resided.

Notes

Shoutouts!

- Merelan
I literally just logged on with a new update to see you commented one minute ago lol, I'm glad you like it!