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Andy

Away.

I couldn't sleep again for a while. Andy slept soundly for the remainder of the night, fitful at times, but at peace. I watched the last of the movie playlist he was streaming, which was the last four hours of the night. No matter how invested in the stories I got, or how tired they made me, I couldn't sleep.

Sun started to rise, and I enjoyed peacefully, my first sunrise in California.

Of course, like Andy promised, it was undeniably beautiful, although shrouded in a fog of refinery smoke, and hidden behind multiple skyscrapers. Realizing this only made me miss Pendant more... So many sunrises I'd spent with my Dad. We'd get up early sometimes, and drive to Apture, or somewhere similar, sitting on the tailgate of his old orange truck, swaddled in quilts, we watched the sun rise together in complete silence. Fog gradually burning up, illuminated by the soft orange light, staring down an open valley, slowly awakening with signs of animal and insect life.

Recalling that old tale made nostalgic, and somewhat depressed. It'd been three years since the last time my Dad had woken me up early with a grin on his face, saying we were going to see the sunset.

The more I thought about it, the sadder I got. It bothered me more than I thought that I couldn't spend the time I wanted to with my Dad. We just didn't connect anymore... We didn't watch sunrises, ride to Apture on Saturdays to play chess and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while I stole sips of his Bud Light. No more fishing trips to the river, or the park, which was the setting for last night's nightmare. The foggy open field no longer soft and cheery like I was familiar with. It had just fallen off when he'd gotten his job promotion.

Of course, I understand the circle of life, and that part of it is to lose interests in old activities, but losing sight of your Dad?... The man who was your greatest idol growing up? That's like being told your dog was hit by a car: sudden and gut wrenching.

I closed my eyes when I'd seen enough of the brilliant sunlight. It only made my heart ache and twist in desperation.

Looking at Andy, he lied in the other bed across from me, hesitant to share a bed immediately, plus, he craved personal space. He looked burned out and tired. Watching him sleep like a pile of rocks for a while, I decided I could handle my morning activities on my own.

I got up, stretched, rubbed my eyes and headed for the bathroom to take a shower and to manage the mess my hair has evolved into.

Once I'd gotten dressed, ironically, in an old souvenir shirt I had from a state park we'd visited during the 4th of July four years ago, with my Dad, of course. I'd gotten the shirt as a prize after successfully beating the teen division beanbag race. I guess I just wanted to spark some memory into my Dad's mind, and surge his heart with the warmth of the great memories involved. It'd probably be a ditch effort, but I proceeded onward anyways.

When I finished up, I grabbed my purse, left a note, and slipped out the door. I didn't address it to any certain group of people, either, in case my mother barged in and found a note addressed to an Andy. It was just best to avoid that conversation.

Making my way out the front doors of the hotel, I really had no idea where I was going. Streets ran in every direction, crowded with a manageable amount of people and vehicles. Reading the signs, I learned that Main Street was just to the north of the hotel.

With a few hours to spare before I really needed to be back, I decided (partially reluctantly) to check out and acquaint myself with the stores around Berkeley.

The dust still hadn't settled on the idea of moving. I didn't like it. Maybe it was because of how stubborn I was, and how partial I was to Pendant, or just because I was terrified of the idea of trying this terrifying new thing. Either way, I couldn't shake the feeling of unease I felt every time I thought about moving.

I stuck to the sidewalk as I maneuvered the streets. Even though Berkeley is a noticeably smaller town next to Los Angeles, there were still rude people honking their horns viciously when you were two seconds too slow crossing the street.

Main Street began to form in the streets ahead, tall townhouse style buildings with front window displays for anything from clothing to adult entertainment shops. Berkeley was undoubtedly different than Pendant. Because in Pendant, it was some kind of secret where babies came from, and mentioning romantic rough housing was some kind of taboo that made elders gasp and cover their mouths in shock, and began to pray for you for even mentioning it. No wonder half the kids who grew up there lived under a rock until they were fifteen or older.

After a bit, when the rumble of the city became too much for me to process anymore, I pulled out my earbuds from my bag and turned on a Tonight Alive album while I walked. With the city muted, I could judge it on its sights and not on its sounds, like the chorus of honking, cursing and crying kids.

I wasn't sure exactly what I was looking for, what kind of shop I wanted to visit. I guess I could use a new pair of flats, even a swimming suit, since I hadn't thought to bring one. Surely with all the free time we had during the week, we'd be going swimming sooner or later.

I was searching with purpose then, instead of wandering around aimlessly, looking more like a sore thumb amid the the sea of faces than I was comfortable with. It was obvious from the mixture of curious and dismissive looks I got, that they knew I wasn't from around here. It was like they could smell it on you.

I found a small clothing boutique, wedged between two appliance stores. It felt like something from home, because when I opened the door, a friendly bell rung above my head.

It was pretty open inside, with the local top hit radio station playing in the background. There were colorful racks of clothes, organized in neat rows. I glanced at them as I passed, seeing blouses, nice slacks, graphic tees and cute summer dresses, none of it really appealing. I was already pretty stocked up on those things.

The longer I looked around the store, the stranger I felt. I was used to always having an entity following me, questioning my every decision. It also made me feel like I was constantly forgetting something. I'll be even foolishly admit, I turned around (more than once) to tell him something, and he was as not there to hear.

I'd found a swimming suit, and tried it on. It was just navy blue, nothing spectacular, and minimal exposure. I wasn't down for showing the most skin I possibly could, unlike a lot of girls my age. I just found it degrading to dress yourself like that just to have boys ogle at you instead of actually looking at you. That's really all that comes out of dressing with exposure. I mean, of course you get the 'proud of your body' crap, but let's be serious, there's better way to do that than short shorts and low cut crop tops with leopard print bras.

I turned an made my way towards the front of the store and stood in line to check out. That's when I glanced over my shoulder and saw a dude standing there.

He leaned against the sunglasses display, not even looking my way, wearing a pair of darkly tinted lenses. He had long, shoulder length black hair, straight as pins, and tasteful tattoo sleeves, as well as knuckle tattoos. He was dressed in dark, casual clothes, and looked slightly irritated.

I wasn't sure why I couldn't tear my eyes away. There was just something about the man that looked familiar, though I could not place his face.

“Miss?”

I looked back and the clerk was free. Hurrying to catch up in line. I set my clothes on the counter and glanced back in curiosity, trying to place the man from all the faces in my memory, but he was gone, not even a retreating figure could be seen.

Notes

Sorry if there's errors, I was writing this update on my iPod, and it's idea of autocorrect is taking the word I was writing, and halfway through, turn it into some random word.

Also! Ooohhhh things are unfolding quite nicely.

Shoutouts!
- anathema
- Dark Queen

Comments

I just want to say, I am here to support you no matter what you do <3

Mezzy18 Mezzy18
4/12/20

Oh gosh, I'm getting weird vibes towards this "sketchy" part of town.

Mezzy18 Mezzy18
5/8/19

I am absolutely in love with this book!

Mezzy18 Mezzy18
4/30/19

Poor Ashley. Poor Andy. Poor Asheen. Wow, what a story! :)

Merelan Merelan
4/29/19

I am conspiring so many theories about this book my head hurts... lol... anyway, great chapter as usual! Can't wait to read what happens next

Mezzy18 Mezzy18
4/25/19