Andy

“Michael? Oh, he’s a sweet boy.” Grandma Evelyn vouched for her guardian nurse as we made our way through the outskirts of Berkeley. “The hospital assigned him to me after my accident. I refused to go into care, and my physician deemed me partially capable of caring for myself, with some supervision. So he was the alternative of going to a nursing home. If I ended up there, it would just depress the crap out of me.” She smiled wryly, sitting by the window seat opposed to mine, Andy wedged between us.

I watched him watch her, her brow scrunched up in concentration as he listened to her speak, combining her sweet, Grandmotherly “Dears”, and her rather blunt curses into the same sentence without batting an eye.

“Your Grandmother has a colorful vocabulary.” He said, pursing his lips, pressing his fingertips together, nodding awkwardly. I resisted the urge to laugh out loud at him.

“Um... Mom, do you think you’ll ever be ready? For a home, I mean.”

Her forehead creased a little. “Why, Sandy? I’m doing fine. After I recover from this, I’ll be good as new.”

“I’m just guarding against the worst.” My mother replied gently, keeping the tension in the car to a minimal. “Things can go awry at any given moment. I just don’t want to feel unprepared when that moment comes.”

“Hmph... I’m fine, Dear, but I appreciate your concern. If I can keep on like I am, I hope to never end up in a home, spending my very last days in my home.”

I looked up sheepishly to see the corner of my mother’s face turn down in disapproval, but she did not push it. Instead, she clicked on the radio to fill the awkward silence. I lifted my hand, casually covering my lips, concealing the knowing smile when I recognized the tune.

“So light ‘em up, up, up. Light ‘em up up up.”

I snuck a glance at Andy, and his expression showed he knew it, as well. I nudged him in the ribs and laughed under my breath.

“My songs know what you did in the dark, so light ‘em up, up, up!” He wailed, throwing his arms at the ceiling, hitting his confinement with a thud. His reaction made keeping quiet and staying calm much harder than it was before.

I ripped a snippet of paper from my paperback copy of a Harry Potter book I’d brought along, quickly scratching a note, then passing it to him.

Had no clue you liked Fall Out Boy.

He laughed, his infectious smile not wavering as he replied. “It’s an on and off thing, I guess. I always enjoyed their music when I was in high school.” He shrugged. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“We should visit the Alluki Beach today, if you have the time.” My Grandmother spoke up, looking fondly out her window at a distant, glittering body of teal water. “I know my Ashbean would love it.” She looked at me to smile, patting my shoulder before returning her gaze to the glass. I peered around her to get a better view of what she was seeing, only to have it interrupted by a collection of low brick buildings.

So I looked to Andy for an explanation.

“Alluki Beach?” He echoed, “Oh, it’s been a long ass time since I’ve been there. It’s not the same beach I was telling you about a few days ago. It’s really nice there, though. It’s controlled better than the normal beach sides.”

“I think we have some extra time after lunch, don’t we, Sandy?” My Dad wondered as he drove. “I think the plan was just to spend the day with you.”

“Yep.” She replied, reaching across the console to catch his hand as they had before, sharing another squeeze of reassurance. It made me wonder if I was under-worried about my Grandmother. Her appearance change was nothing short of devastating, but she seemed in good spirits, nevertheless.

“All day with you, Mom.” She smiled at Grandma Evelyn in the rearview mirror, a smile met by an equal one from the backseat. The last fifteen minutes of driving was fairly quiet except for some small talk here and there. My Grandma asked about our drive, how long it’d taken, how the traffic was, and more questions about life in Pendant and our plans for California.

It was shortly after California was brought up that I chose to tune out their conversation. It only put me further on edge to imagine it as real. More mainstream songs played, some more annoying than others, but no one made the effort to change the station. I was preoccupied with the view, and playing a discreet game of tic-tac-toe with Andy on the space between us on the seat, scribbling on a spare sticky note from my school pack.

“Do you still have the directions?” I hear my Dad ask my Mom, seeing her shuffle through some papers on the console before pulling out the sheet she was looking for, instructing him through the cluttered, complicated streets. It was clear, no matter what town you were in, as long as you were in California, it was always crowded.

“Where are we going for lunch?” My Grandmother asked conversationally, shifting in her seat, she elbowed Andy in the ribs sharply. He scowled, grunted a curse and rubbed the spot of impact.

“Cadaliers.” My Dad replied, “Figured we should do something nice.” He shot her a warm smile in the rearview mirror. I noticed how much my parents were buttering up the conversations. It made me concerned that I might’ve missed something vital. They almost never acted like this unless they were doing what they called ‘living in the moment’. Where they savor every second with overly kind words and conversations.

I snuck another glance at Evelyn, deathly worried that she had somehow aged further in the few minutes since I’d looked at her last. I released a relieved sigh when I saw she was just the same.

Part of me feared she was aging far more rapidly than she appeared to. I bit my lip anxiously, waiting for Andy to make his move and carve a careful X into the sticky note tic-tac-toe board.

She was very ill... Far more than I could have imagined. My curiosity burned, and I yearned to ask what had caused her health decline, but I was also afraid to know the answer. Whatever it was, it could not have been caused by a simple allergy invoked cold...

My eyes flashed to my parents in the front seat, narrowing at them warily, wondering for a moment if there was something they knew, and were not going to tell me, for the sake of protecting me.

A few minutes later, we slowed down, and turned onto a lane that passed the beach Evelyn mentioned earlier. I looked at the greenish blue water in admiration for a bit while we continued down the paved strip to the restaurant on the shore. A small assortment of beach shacks tastefully knit together, into a fancy looking eatery.

From the parking lot, I could see the massive glass walls, with shimmering glass chandeliers hanging in the lobby inside. It in no way, looked low-key up close. The colors were vivid, accented with sharply detailed ornaments. Employees made their way out onto the wooden deck on the back end of the restaurant, carrying trays of expensive looking drinks and liquor.

“Ash, you coming?”

Andy tugged on my arm and I looked up, realizing he, and everyone else had already climbed out while I gawked.

“Er, yeah...” I snatched his hand, which hovered patiently towards me. I pulled myself out, taking a moment to smooth my skirt and return my gaze to the beautiful seafront. Luckily, my parents and Grandmother were too preoccupied to notice our exchange.

“Damn... How did I ever miss this place?” Andy wondered in confusion, tugging down on his ripped band shirt absentmindedly, gawking up at the glass and massive palm trees like I was. “Seriously, my friends, Carla and Mitch, they drug me out to eat at just about every place in a thirty mile radius, and never once did we come here.”

“Maybe because it’s so pricy.” I teased, nudging him forward to walk in front of me while we followed my parents in.

~~~


Of course, the inside had me even more starstuck than the beautiful exterior did.

Upon entering, I was immediately graced with a combination of smells, from the sweet, fresh fragrance from the vases of orchids nearby, to the combined smells of different foods. There were waiters walking by, trays balanced on their hands, piled high with food I didn’t recognize, but the smell wafting towards me reminded me how hungry I was. I hadn’t eaten a whole lot on our journey due to being so anxious about the trip, but it all came crashing down on me.

My eyes trailed up towards the ceiling, where perhaps one of the most bizarre, yet unique things I had ever seen hung.

One of those gold and glass chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, but trailing down the beautiful light fixture in graceful waves was tangled vines of ivy. Stretching out from the light, it extended like a spiderweb, connecting to the marble decorative balconies above, tangled around the small pillars, diamond shaped leafs tangled with a variety of other flowers trailing down the wall with a mind of their own.

“Wow...” I breathed, speaking to no one in particular. Tearing my eyes away, I ventured off a little from the beaten path to peek out on the patio area, which was similar, with a slated wood roof, grape vines trellising the wood bars aimlessly.

“Sheesh... Makes me feel very underdressed...” I muttered under my breath to Andy, peering down at my simple Sunday Church sundress. It’s cliche blue and green diamond pattern appearing very bleak and washed out amidst the sea of faces before me. People sporting nice, crisp, pastel colored blazers, button down shirts, and fur cardigans, sipping from wine glasses like it was an everyday thing, made my Walmart clearance sundress seem very out of place, but I still felt relieved to have not shown up in a pair of jeans or shorts, because chances were, these people would have probably chased me out the door with a broom.

“Haha, makes me glad they can’t see me!” Andy replied, his grin spreading widely as he took in his grunge band rags. Torn Alkaline Trio shirt, the sleeves looked like they’d been ripped off with his own hands, and the collection of noisy chains and patches that adorned his clothing. I scoffed. “You’re so fortunate.”

“Table for... Four?” A young female waiter paused before us with an armload of fancy leather bound menus.

“Five.” Andy corrected with a corrective nod and a patient smile. His face did not waver at first, and I smirked, mildly concerned as to rather or not he was joking, until he laughed and carried on after my parents as we followed the waitress to our table which was situated out on the patio, in the far corner, with a brilliant view of the sea.

After I’d taken my seat, I looked behind me, but he was gone. I muttered in frustration under my voice, looking around me, searching for his pierced face, with the infectious ‘I got you!’ grin. But he was nowhere to be seen. I sighed, forcing myself to relax and turn towards my family as they ordered drinks.

“Ice tea, please.” My Dad smiled kindly at the waitress as he accepted his menu, then her expectant gaze settled on me.

“Uh, root beer?” I hedged, for the first time in my life, I felt unsure as to rather or not the place actually sold the mediocre soft drink. I caught the flash of confusion in her eyes and she nodded and wrote it down anyways, her expression giving away she was confused that I hadn’t asked for some expensive wine that only someone who was fluent in French could pronounce. I crossed my hands in my lap awkwardly, pleased with the decision that had invoked severe embarrassment on my part.

I took a deep breath, and looked to my left at the glistening turquoise water, when I hear footsteps approaching.

“Hello, my name is Dennis, and I’ll be your waiter today. Do you need a few more minutes or?...”

I looked up, nearly leaping back in shock. My Dad noticed the surprised jolt that sent me leaning backwards.

“Ash, are you okay?” He reached across the table to touch my hand, before looking up. Directly at him, at Andy...

He smiled, but things were missing. His lip, nose and earrings gone, hair smoothed back neatly, and his warpaint was gone... His Alkaline Trio shirt and torn jeans replaced with a crisp, freshly pressed white, short sleeve button down shirt with a long black tie, and black slacks, plus perfectly shiny, scuffless dress shoes. He smiled at everyone at the table, expression remaining patient, charming, and oblivious to my shock.

“Uh, you... You look familiar, that’s all.” I stuttered, my heart pounding out of my chest, I shot a look at my father, panicked that a stroke of recognition would cross his face, too, and he’d remember Andy... Andy the dead boy. Andy, the dead boy whose funeral he’d attended only a few weeks earlier, having taken the time to look through his family photo albums.

I was relieved when the recognition never came.

“Ash...” My Dad muttered under his breath. “It’s rude to stare...”

“Oh, sorry...” I dropped my eyes, not used to not being free to stare at him as I pleased, because there was never anyone else but Andy himself to catch me.

“No problem.” He chuckled, pulling a neat little writing pad and pen from his front pocket.

“I think we’re ready to order. Ash, you start.” My Dad nodded towards me, throwing me on the spot. I swallowed nervously, glancing up at Andy suddenly making me very, very nervous. He winked and grinned when my family was not looking.

“Er, um, the salad?” I hedged.

“I assume you mean the garden salad?” He responded with a dismissive tone that pretty much said we did not know each other. I narrowed my eyes at him a little, trying to figure out what game he was playing at.

“Yeah.”

“Dressing?”

“Ranch.”

He scribbled down that information and looked to my Dad next. I sighed in relief under my breath, looking away, looking anywhere but him. All I needed was for my parents to notice my oogling, and so all ‘Oooh! You’ve got a crush on him!’like every embarrassing pair of parents do to their kids.

“And you, ma’am?” He looked expectantly at my Grandmother. She gave him her order, which he gladly wrote down, seamlessly sliding into the waiter charade.

“Thank you, dear.” She patted his arm and smiled kindly at him, always sweet and grateful. He nodded, and headed towards the kitchen, where he’d probably evaporate and seize to exist again.

I scowled at him in embarrassment as he walked away, his shoulders rising and falling with laughter.

Notes

Something unintentional, but I realized this recently. How Andy and Ash have taken on their own personalities in this story, like I never really thought about it until it was done, but when Andy first died and was going through her funeral, Ash was there supporting him, tagging along on random adventures to give him closure, and now the tables have turned and he's struggling to understand how to support Ash through her depression, anxiety, family issues, moving and her Grandmother's illness. It's cool how they've been there for each other haha and I hadn't even written it that way intentionally, but I'm happy with the lives they've taken on. ;)

Shoutouts!

- anathema (I love reading you guys' comments, and I love and laugh so much when I read stuff like this haha serious commitment!
- blackveilkitty
- Fallen_Savior

Thank you guys so much! I really enjoyed writing this chapter haha wasn't so much heavy stuff and a nice moment of humor.