Andy

It took me a moment to realize, that the room was made up of mostly windows, and that was why it was so bright. Thick burgundy drapes were pulled back from the glass, revealing a stunning view of the cityscape, and further out, the east bay.

I drifted away from Andy to go stand in front of the glass, mesmerized like a small child looking up at a giraffe while visiting the zoo. I was completely captivated by the scene that could never be recreated in Pendant, no matter how sacred my hometown was to me.

I didn’t dramatically place my hands on the glass or anything like that. I just stood there, perplexed by the incredible view.

“Know what my view was at the dorms?” Andy asked unenthusiastically.

“What?”

“I had a veiw of a Dumpster, and every morning, this old man would stand out there in his robe, collecting old newspapers. Not exactly the sight you want to see while eating breakfast first thing in the morning.” He sighed in disgust, walking away from the window, he casually explored the hotel room, then turned on the TV, leaving it as a background noise while he opened my suitcase and pulled out his collection of belongings.

“I thought you had your own suitcase?”

“I do. But this was just more convienient.” He shrugged, examining one of his band shirts before setting it aside for the day.

“Seems more like a way for you to go through my shit...” I muttered in embarrassment, dragging the suitcase away from him across the bedspread, leaving a wrinkled trail in the fabric. I pulled out the blue and white striped summer dress and found my sandals at the bottom, taking them and my makeup bag to the bathroom to change.

I took a quick shower, since I’d neglected it earlier that morning at the hotel in Crownskale. Changing quickly, I leaned over the sink to apply my eyeliner and eyeshadow slowly, leaving out the eyeliner for Andy whenever he got around to redoing his own makeup.

“I haven’t seen my Grandma since I was eleven.” I stated as I walked back into the room. “She and part of the family came to visit us for Easter, and that included the twins, my cousins, Daryl and Danny, both troublemakers. Both twenty now." I sorted out my things for the day, checking to see if my phone was charged up.

“We had an egg hunt, for all us kids, even the older ones, and Daryl and Danny were the oldest out of all of us, so they kinda got away with some stuff when no one was looking.... And back then, we used actual hardboiled eggs, not the plastic shells.” I plugged my charger into the wall as I spoke, plugging it into the bottom of my phone.

“I feel like this story is about to go horribly wrong...” Andy sighed from across the room, tossing two wadded up sheets of hotel stationary into the air, trying to juggle them.

I laughed “It does.” I confirmed, “My parents, Grandmother, aunts and uncles, none of them were really paying much attention to us during the egg hunt. Mostly because right then, our neighbors randomly came over to borrow some sugar. So yeah, it turned into a free-for-all deathmatch... Daryl and Danny stole all the eggs from the younger kids and hid out in the treehouse, and as kids climbed the ladder to get them back, they were dropping hardboiled eggs on our heads.” I sighed and smiled fondly, zipping my suitcase shut. “Countless heads of perfect Sunday curls ruined by chunks of egg shell and rubbery egg whites. And when we told on them, all my aunt and uncle did was scold them, and tell us to play nice.”

“Family is great, ain’t they?” He chuckled sarcastically, running his hands through his short brown hair, fondly looking at himself in the mirror, smoothing his hair up into a mindless mohawk.

I scoffed. “Oh, definitely. Did you ever have any experiences like that?”

“Of course. Who doesn’t? My cousins, Eliza and Sarah, came to spend the night one time, this was back in Ohio, by the way, anyways, they were so sweet when my parents around, like, sickeningly sweet with the manners and all, and every chance they got, they threw me and the other boy cousins under the bus. I mean, they were pure evil!” He shook his head incredulously.

“They deliberately went out into the backyard after a rainstorm, picked up handfuls of dirt and smeared it down the front of their dresses and got it in their hair, then went inside and cried to my parents that we’d shoved them into a puddle.”

I winced, greatful I’d never been graced with bratty cousins, just jerk twins.

“We didn’t see them for a long time after that. Actually, the last time I did see them in person was at our family reunion six years ago. It was before my weird emo phase. And they did apologize for being bitches and all, but y’know, after you have to put up with that your whole childhood, you’re kinda hesitant to forgive.”

I looked down at my suitcase in deep thought, and posed a question on him. “You said... The last time you saw them in person was at the reunion... Did they come to, the...”

He aburptly laughed, and I contantly had to remind myself how lighthearted he often was about being deceased. “You can say it, it doesn’t bother me.”

“I know...” I mumbled in embarrassment, “But it bothers me.”

He gave me a puzzled expression. “How so?”

“Haven’t you really thought about it?” I hedged sheepishly, trying to tread lightly not to hurt his feelings. “You’re a ghost, and you’re my best friend. I have to imagine you’re dead, all the time, I can’t tell anyone about you... It’s almost like you’re imaginary. It’s so weird for me to refer to your last family reunion as your funeral.”

He became thoughtful, and not at all hurt, at least from what I could tell. “Then don’t refer to it as my funeral if it makes you uncomfortable. I get that everyone has a different approach to things. Like I’m at ease for the most part about it, and it makes me feel better to joke about it and be open to it. Some people are just more closed off.” He shrugged.

I felt a pang of involuntary annoyance, “What do you mean by that?” I wondered, crossing my arms before me patiently.

“You’re more likely to tell me about a memory than something really personal to you.” He explained. “You’ve never been completely open to me about things, and you tend to dodge questions you don’t want to answer. You act very uncomfortable discussing certain topics, like the things you write in your journal.”

I stiffened, and it clicked into place. As far as Andy was aware, from my point of view, he only knew I wrote song lyrics in there... How else could he know there was more unless...

“You read it?” I accused him in a low voice, and his blue eyes widened in surprise when he realized he’d slipped up.

“That’s why you’ve been treating me differently since you got back, isn’t it?” I jabbed a finger at him and narrowed my eyes. “So what I can’t tell you, you’ll just read anyways?”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized genuinely. “It was an accident.”

“Accident.” I scoffed, crossing my arms, feeling my cheeks burning pink in embarrassment, thinking about all the very personal things I’d written in that journal.

“I’m serious.” He insisted. “You left it open one day, and I thought it was a book.”

“Even though it was handwritten and you’d seen the book before....” I deadpanned with a glare.

He frowned, realizing he’d been caught. I exhaled heavily, and sat on the edge of the bed, burying my face in my hands, but it didn’t take away the suffocating feeling.

“At least tell me what you read.” I mumbled reluctantly, refusing to look at him, in fear my eyes would betray everything I felt right then.

“Only some lyrics and the entry about how you view yourself... I didn’t think you felt like that.” He added conversationally, but I ignored him.

“You were so kind and sweet, the girl in pretty summer dresses coming home from church the day I met you. Have you always felt like this?”

I sighed a little. “Every now and again.”

“Have you ever... Self harmed?”

“Absolutely not.” I shook my head, still refusing to look at him. “I never felt like I needed to, and I never wanted to. I just have always loathed myself, in a way. I mean, by most standards, I am perfect. I go to church, dress like a girl instead of a tom-boy, wore makeup, was always kind, but no one ever really saw that in me. At school, no matter how hard I tried, no one really looked at me, or really saw me, for me. They’d call you out in gym because you were fast or whatever, but none of them would just come up to you and talk. I was, am and always will be, indefinitely lonely.”

“Are you lonely now?”

“How do you want me to answer that?” I whispered, my throat tightening with emotion and the tears that were threatening to come and destroy my makeup.

He didn’t answer, but I could feel the tension between us.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, my voice cracking.

“Don’t be.” He replied, his voice tense, “You should finish getting ready, it’s almost noon.”

I felt his weight disappear from the bed, and I looked over my shoulder, but the room was empty, and he was gone... Again. I took a deep breath and wiped the unshed tears from the corners of my eyes, mentally telling myself to keep it together while I dragged myself from the mattress, to the end of the bed, where my sandals and purse waited. I grabbed them, put them on absently, my head swimming with all these concerns and fears.

Notes

Oh mannnn I am so sorry for the delay! I did manage to work out the fine details of this story, though! And it's now working in a positive direction. If you guys are still reading this, thank you so much, I can't express my appreciation for your support. <3

More exciting things are on the brink!

Shoutouts!

- Isometimeswrite
- anathema
- Allie_BVB