Andy

I leapt forward and spun around, eyes as wide as saucers, my heart pounding out my chest.

"Ash."

I couldn't breathe or move. I couldn't do anything to react. I felt frozen, caught in the gaze of death, unable to move or say anything. I took in rugged breaths, just to keep breathing, because it was a habit. The rest of my body had already gone into shutdown, starting with my brain.

"I'm really trying not to scare you!" He defended, holding his hands up.

"Really?" I choked out in fear, "Is that what all that shit was?! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?!" I shouted angrily, my voice shaking and cracking as I strained it.

"Calm down-"

"No!" I shouted, the hurt and betrayal pouring with the tears. "Not until you explain to me, how the fuck you're here right now!" My hands began to tremble, and he noticed.

"You're going to give yourself another panic attack. Just like last night..."

My lip twitched into a furious snarl. "You were there, too?! Where the hell else have you been? Cause it seems to me, you like to see the miserable me without you, than the one who loves your presence." I cried, trying to keep my parents from hearing me.

Surprise struck his cloudy blue eyes. "I've been trying to keep you safe."

"Safe, he calls it." I echoed with heavy sarcasm. "Where the fuck were you when I was attacked? When I was bullied? When I lashed out? When I was home late that one night. Yeah, some fucking savior you are." I snarled, hatred and hurt coloring my tone.

He recoiled, and a glare took over the kind, patient expression he wore. "Hey, lay the fuck off, alright? You're not the only one who's been in hell!"

"Really?! Okay, asshole, tell me all about how Goddamned terrible your week has been."

His face contorted in anger, worse than I'd ever seen, and I'd be lying if I didn't say, it struck a shiver of fear into me.

"I gave up crossing over for you, you know." He growled. I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"Why?"

"I realized how much you needed me. At least, I though so. That's why I waited... I wanted to be sure it wasn't a waste."

An unamused laugh broke from my lips, I scoffed. "Right... I tell you everything about myself, but I don't actually care about you."

"It wasn't like that! Ash- I..." He groaned, and paced, pinching the bridge of his nose to control his anger. "I care about you. But I also didn't want to be hurt! You don't know how many times I wanted to reveal myself. How many times I absolutely loathed myself, because of what I had put you through by involving you in my problems. It was exactly like CC said! You declined immediately after the funeral. Don't pretend I never saw you clutching my photo and jacket while you cried every night."

I was taken back by his blunt statement. He fumed, and I cried.

"You put me through all this stupid shit!" I shouted, the tears ran down my cheeks as I confronted him. "I didn't need any of this! I was starting to cope with it, truly believing you were dead, and then poof! You just show up again, and expect everything to go back to normal? I can't! It's too late!"

"Never say that!" He hissed angrily, crossing the room in two steps to grab my wrists, "Look at me! I can't fucking do this shit anymore! I had two decisions, and I gave up what I wanted for what you needed. You didn't know you needed it then, but you were like me. When Ashley died, I made myself be happy. I forcefed myself that crap, just to keep everyone around myself positive. But inside, I was wasting away. I wish Ashley had been there for me, to help me recover. But he couldn't be." He took a deep breath before continuing.

"I realized as I lied in that coffin, my life is over. There's nothing more to it. You have a whole future, and everything that happens now, is going to affect it. If all it takes, is for me to sacrifice my happiness just once, to save the rest of your life, I wasn't going to just lie there and let the opportunity pass me up. You don't know what you need, but trust me, you would have realized it years from now, and wished that things could be differnet. God knows I do."

He locked eyes with me, and I was still furious, hurt and betrayed. I looked away from his eyes, because I could already feel the calmness seeping into my veins, making me feel like rainbows and confetti icing. I didn't want to feel like that, I wanted to feel angry. I yanked my hands away and dropped them at my sides.

"Fine. I get why you did it, but why would you do that to me? I was proud of you for making that deicision, and I was going to be happy with whatever you chose, because I care about you. And then suddenly you're back, telling me youspied on me, on my private grief, all damn week."

He looked apalled. "I was observing-"
"Same damn thing!" I snapped. "Why couldn't you just tell me you were staying that day? Things could be so much different right now." I almost begged. "None of what I did, had to happen. None of it... I would have kept on being a perfect student, a less than perfect kid, and I never would have had to hear my Dad tell me I was a disappointment. All of that, is on you!" I shoved him away from me as he reached again.

His arms fell to his sides, and he looked at me with hurt eyes, but did not interrupt.

"I wouldn't have felt like I needed to change so much, because I already had everything I needed. I love you, Andy. I love you so much it hurts, and you didn't see that, you clearly haven't this whole time if, no matter what I was going through, you did nothing. I actually thought about death once... It was once, but that's enough, isn't it? To plant the seed of doubt and hate into one's mind? Damn them to a life of depression, anxiety and self-loathing. I get why you waited, you were just trying to be sure the decision was a good one. But why bother?! Because once you missed that timeline, you are here, indefinitely. It wouldn't have mattered what I thought, one way or the other. Because you made that decision. Not me. You wanted to be able to blame me when this went south, because you didn't get your happily ever after."

He was speechless. He just stared at me, strands of his black hair falling out of place across his forehead in a saddened mess.

"Do you really think I'd hate you if I didn't get what I wanted?..." He finally murmured after a few silent moments of fuming. "If this friendship didn't work, I had other places I could be. People to visit, family to watch grow old. There's so many things I haven't gotten to do, that I can still do in this form. It wasn't just for you. But, it mostly was. It's like I said, the only thing I was thinking about, as I lied there, was what you needed. I discarded all emotion for myself, and drug myself out of that coffin, just to do what I've always done."

I looked at him silently, my arms crossing, tears dripping from my chin. "What's that?" I asked unenthusiatically.

"Save people." He responded quietly. "As a human, my music did that for people. It was enough to convince them, suicide was not the option. But in this form, I have to physically stop people from hurting themselves. You included. You might not have ever reached for the razor, but your mind would be ill. You'd suffer depression, mood swings and anxiety. Social interaction would become your biggest fear. I had to try and stop that, stop you from becoming me. My parents? My family? They might've all seemed very proud of me on the day of the funeral, but if you'd seen how they resented me after my attempts of suicide, you would not view them the same. The same thing would happen to you. It's already beginning. You cannot deny that."

My lip quivered, and I looked down. My parents had had a noticibly different approach to me since I got grounded. They were hesitant, and more observant of how I was acting than the words I was saying.

"You see it too." He claimed, it wasn't a guess. And since he had apparently been there, every second of every day, so of course he'd seen it.

I choked on my breath, just trying to breathe. My shoulders slumped, and shook. I don't know when he did it, or why he bothered, after the hurtful things I'd said to him, but I felt two cold arms wrap tightly around me, and he rested his chin on my head.

"It's okay." He sighed, I could still hear the touch of hurt in his voice as he struggled to remain kind. He didn't have to, and I didn't deserve his presence, no matter what we'd both sacrificed for this moment.

I wrapped my arms tightly around him, my hands touching metal on his lower back, and I realized they were the handcuffs.

"You took the jacket." I sighed with a tired laugh. I heard his reply chuckle, "I only said I wanted you to look after it."

I gave a small smile as I buried my face in his chest. I took notice of all the fine details, and realized the whole thing felt like an impossible dream. He was here again... And even though I was hurt that he allowed me to go through the whole week, facing all those obstacles on my own, I was still beyond grateful he had returned.

I continued to hug him for what felt like an impossibly long time. I just didn't want to let him go, because I feared he'd disappear into a puff of dust like he always did, but this time, he'd never return.

I opened my mouth to speak, to tell him something profound, but was interupted by a knock on my bedroom door.

Of all the damn best timing in the world.

I groaned, and pulled away from Andy to smile at him, in a broken saddened way, before wiping down my cheeks quickly to erase the tears.

"Yeah?" I called as clearly as I could.

"Ash? Can you come downstairs in a minute? Me and your Dad need to talk to you."

"Oh... Okay." I furrowed my brow, and heard her walk from the door. I looked at Andy in confusion. "What's that all about?"

He shrugged, "I have no clue. I haven't heard or seen anything."

"But you've been everywhere..." I began in annoyance. He shot me a glare, "I only followed you. Everywhere you were, I was. I never left your side."

I frowned. "I guess that's cute... In a creepy, stalker way." I shrugged, going to the mirror to wipe off the black makeup that had run down my face. I blinked rapidly to get rid of the bloodshot eye issue I had. I also noticed, Andy was being exceptionally quiet, and there was still a lot of tension.

I sighed, "I'm sorry. For everything. We'll have the chance to talk about it in a minute, okay?"

"I'm coming with you." He snorted, stalking past me, out my bedroom door into the hallway to wait. I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, before following him out.

Notes

Oh shit... So that happened. There's so much that I can't talk about right now! There may be more than one update today, so keep an eye out! :)
This chapter was heavily inspired by What About Angels by Birdy. I highly recommend it, plus it ties in with the theme of the story. I've added clicky links! Hahaha
Shoutouts to...
- anathema
- BVB_Rebel_Love_Song
Plus! A new picture of Ash. :D It's actually very difficult to find pictures on Google of girls with this hair color, who don't have the whole 'emo' hairstyle thing going on haha.