Andy

I couldn't have a normal conversation with CC the whole drive, because of how loud he played his music. He told me before we'd ever even left my house, that he'd rather be deaf at a young age than to grow old with perfect hearing, knowing he hadn't fully enjoyed music in his youthful days. I pondered his comment and wondered if he understood exactly what that meant.

We arrived at the venue within a few minutes, and I could already feel my stomach twisting into small, anxious knots. There was a line of excited concert-goers standing outside the cafe where we'd be playing. Either talking to each other, or looking down at their phones, texting.

"We'll get in through the back. If we try to go through that, we'll never make it." CC joked, pulling into the narrow alleyway that led into a small parking area behind the shop.

"Hey, bro."

I looked out CC's window, where he'd already gotten out, and was bumping fists with Jake. "I brought Ash, I texted you, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, we got a hold of a piano for her to play." Jake replied cooly, leaning against the car until Jinxx and their new singer and bassist came out.

"Dude, they're already starting to riot out there." Jinxx told us with enthusiasm.

I looked at the other two, two middle aged men who were clearly over ten years older than the rest of them.

"Oh, I don't think we've been introduced yet." One of them noticed me getting out of the car, he had short bronze hair with shots of artifical grey through it. A friendly, open smile, and he wore rimless glasses. I approached him hesitantly and reached out to grip his extended hand.

"Ash." I told him warily, taking in his features, there was just something off about him. Maybe he was too friendly.

He grinned. "Carl Ferguson."

"How long have you guys known each other?" I asked conversationally, taking a noticable step back from him, to look at the other man, who had shoulder length blonde hair and looked like a modern day Kurt Cobain. Mismatched articles of clothing, lit cigarette and all.

"About eight months." Jake told me when no one else answered. "We were taking a hiatus from the band after Andy moved and Ashley passed. But it got to the point where we just had to play music again, we didn't care who it was with. That's when we came across these 80's reject pedophiles." Jake laughed, gesturing towards the two. "Oh, yeah, that's Millard. He doesn't talk much."

I looked back at 'Millard' but as far as anyone was concerned, I'd be calling him Kurt.

He nodded in my direction, and proceeded to lift his cigarette to his mouth to take in a long drawl.

It made me uncomfortable to be around them. Even though Jake was only joking about his statement on the two, it felt pretty realistic. I stood next to CC, while he told everyone jokes to get them in a good mood before going on to play the first set. I noticed the long glances Carl sent my way, his eyes set intently on my face for long periods of time, yet I was the only one who noticed. No one else saw his creepy gaze or told him to knock it off, and I was too freaked out to do it myself, so I decided just to play it cool.

"Hey, it's almost show time." Jinxx announced a few minutes later. "I'm gonna do a last minute gear check."

He abandoned our group, and Jake soon followed. CC nudged me, and nodded towards the back door of the cafe. "You might want to get acquainted with the piano first. It's a keyboard, not an upright."

I nodded, not as concerned with familiarizing myself with the keyboard as I was getting out from under Carl's gaze, and out of Millard's smoke cloud, which smelled like something other than cigarettes.

I hurried to the back door, following the chorus of laughter through the small maze of halls in the backrooms to the front room, where I emerged through the curtains onto a small entertainment stage. I stood there, looking over the small room, no bigger than your average club, yet the thought of so many people being packed in here was giving me a major wave of anxiety. I remembered to take deep breaths, and turned away to go take a look at the piano.

When Jake said they got a hold of a piano, he wasn't kidding. The thing looked like they'd drug it out of the city dump. Nevertheless, I hit the power button and tapped a few of the keys, and it sounded fine.

I scooched out the bench and sat there, acquainting myself with the keys, since it was a smaller model, there were less. In the background, I could hear Jake shredding off random riffs on his guitar, and Jinx doing the same on his, soon their riffs evolved into the same piece of music. I looked over my shoulder, to watch them face off in a guitar solo duel.

"Stop messing around." A gruff voice came, and I looked behind us at the opening of the curtains, where Carl stood, nursing a cold beer in one hand, a flask in the other, and an annoyed look on his face. "Are we playing or not?"

Jake's eyes flashed in annoyance, but he didn't reply. He set his guitar on the stand on his side of the stage, and went to go find the show's adviser to open the doors. I checked the time, it was almost seven.

"I thought you guys had a band opening for you?" I wondered in confusion.

"We did. They quit, all of them had food poisoning. So now we have to play a longer show. Hope you're ready, hun." Carl said, shaking his head, standing in front of his mic, sipping his alcohol. I could already tell his mood was declining and he was becoming less of that convenience store clerk persona he'd been outside just moments earlier, and was becoming a grumpy drunk with a short temper.

The suggestive smile he sent me afterwards made my stomach twist, and I abruptly dropped my gaze, pretending I hadn't seen it.

"Okay, they're letting people in!" Jake shouted to us, appearing on the far end of the small room, stalking towards us, his leather boots clicking against the scuffed wood floor.

"What's the set list?" CC asked, stepping on stage in a different get up than he had when he picked me up from my house. I appreciated that he had chose not to wear makeup in front of my mom.

"Yeah, we should review." Jixx commented, grabbing the sheet of paper off a gear crate, and setting it on the sheet music stand so we could all read it.

"We'll open with Knives and Pens, put some enthusiasm into the opening, Carl." Jake told him, giving him a joking look, that was also authoritive. Carl just scoffed.

"Then Perfect Weapon and Sweet Blasphemy. And All Your Hate after those... What next?"

"We should probably save The Mortician's Daughter for last, or second to last... Should we close with Carolyn?"

I stood back, out of my league with this music talk. I was familiar with the songs and their sound/strength, but I was just a backup musician here.

"I think Never Give In should be next." Carl blurted out, crossing his arms with finalism.

"Why not-"

"No." His mustache topped lip twitched in annoyance, as he peered at the other band members through his thick glasses. I looked at him and wondered how the actual hell he ended up with them. He didn't even dress like them, or even wear the stage makeup. He wore a crisp, yellow polo and plain jeans, acting like he was a waiter at Burger King or something. Yet, he wanted to be in control of everything, but wouldn't give his all to the project.

I heard Jinxx sigh in annoyance, and Millard was too spaced out to notice the heated argument taking place. His eyes were glassy, and every now and again he'd start giggling from some drug infused hallucination he was having.

I crossed my arms and stepped back from the group. I had a good enough idea what we were playing, and I'd find my way through it if I had to.

I looked to my left, out at the room in front of the stage, where teenagers and adults alike were filing in. Some of them were screaming the guys' names with great affection. I noticed Carl's annoyance grow when no one shouted his name, because to all those screaming teenagers, he was just the middle-aged senior citizen on stage with the cute guys.

Girls threw themselves up against the low barrier that was the edge of the stage, the reached for us, and I backed up, to stand in the shadow of an amp. Some of them held out various articles for them to sign.

Jake gave in and signed a few things, CC talked to them, trying to calm down the ones who were overly excited, and Carl was already at the front of the stage, waving at them, calling the fourteen year-old girls in the crowd 'hunny' or 'cutie'. Some of them got confused or weirded out, and disappeared into the crowd.

The security came out then, and told people to back up a considerable amount while they helped the massive group of people through the doors.

My breath was hitching in my throat, and I kept having to remind myself to breathe, and a jagged breath would finally be drawn.

"Okay..." I whispered to myself, watching the others parading the stage with their instruments, raising their fists in the air triumphantly while the crowd screamed and chanted back at them. It was an amazing experience, one I might've been able to appreciate more if Carl's creepy, pedophile grins and gazes would stay off of me.

I lurked in the shadows a while longer before emerging and going to sit at the keyboard, keeping my eyes down, I could feel the tension change noticibly as the crowd watched me in the background curiously.

I wished in that moment, Jake had been the vocalist. Because with Carl making the announcements, the evening was bound to be a disaster.

"We're Black Veil Brides!" He shrieked into the microphone, pushing his glassed further up on the bridge of his nose. "We have a special guest tonight, please help me give Ash a warm welcome!" He pointed at me, and I froze. Then... He gestured for a spotlight to be trained on me.

"Ain't she somethin'?" Carl commented with a smirk, before turning towards the crowd. I looked over at CC, sitting behind his drums. He looked at me, and sent me an 'are you okay' look. I nodded and looked down at the keys, and positioned my hands.

The crowd was cheering, and pushing towards the stage.

"Shut the hell up, motherfuckers." Carl sneered for effect into the mic, smirking. "This one is called Knives and Pens."

The crowd roared, and the small cafe vibrated with movement and emotion. I placed my hands on the keys and played the intro along with the guitar. It wasn't what I was supposed to do, but I needed to get my mind off of things.

I took deep breaths and just kept looking down, playing along to the song until it came to an end. Carl grabbed a waterbottle and splashed it over the front row crowd. If he'd been a better looking man, the girls would've been swooning. But since Carl was just about as amazing in the looks department as Walter White, the girls growled at him in annoyance, and some shrieked at him for ruining their hair or shirt. I noticed he paid special attention to drenching the girls that were wearing white.

I watched him in disgust, continuing to parade around. "Y'know, I'm a helluva looker, am I right, ladies?" He held his arms out in all his glory, and the crowd only cheered because the band was at an interlude, and they were obligated to be excited with everything they did.

"Think I'm good looking? Naw, look at Ash. Spotlights!"

They hovered on me again, and I glared at the keys as I played, not entertaining his stupid fantasy.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me..." I growled.

"Do it one fucking more time." I shouted at him through my mic, and he laughed, thinking I was joking, then his smile faded, and he moved into the next verse. I shook my head and continued to play, looking over at Jinxx, who stood just to my left on the cramped stage. He nodded towards me, grinning.

I sighed, what had been, and could have been, one of the greatest nights of my life, was destroyed by a fucking gross pedophile.

Jake signaled an end of our set, and we got off the stage to take a break. In the meantime, a comedian the cafe had hired took our place on the stage.

"I have to piss!" CC shouted, charging past me, down the hall, to the men's room.

I laughed, and turned around, noticing Millard leaning again the wall down the hall, looking like he was dealing with some God awful hangover. His performance showed it, because he hardly strummed a chord the whole time, he just strummed every now and again.

Jake and Jinxx headed out back to smoke, "You coming?" Jake asked me, extending a cigarette in my direction. I shook my head. "I'm good." He chuckled, and they both walked out.

Heaving a sigh, I went to find a bottle of water, at least, one that Carl hadn't thrown into the audience yet. I stood in the breakroom, when speak of the devil, I heard someone behind me, chuckling.

"That was one helluva thing you did out there." He said, grinning, walking up to stand beside me, placing his hands on the counter, looking intent, or drunk, at least.

"What?"

"Tellin' me to shut up and all that crap... Thinkin' you're some hot shit just 'cuz you're playing with some band." He shook his head, smiling. Then everything changed.

He turned, on the dime, and his hand lashed out. I fell backwards, too stunned by surprise to react properly, to shout for help while I had the chance.

"Stupid bitch..." He chuckled, shaking his head, looking down at me. "Time for a lesson, 'cuz you've been a bad girl."

"Stay the hell away from me!" I pushed my back up against the wall and kicked at his legs, tripping him. He crashed down on the tile floor in front of me, his glasses bouncing off. I grabbed them, and threw them across the floor. He'd have a hell of a harder time defending himself if he couldn't see.

"Stop struggling!" He growled, pinning my legs down, pressing his hand over my mouth, his eyes wide and angry, all the friendliness gone.

My eyes were wide, and terrified. His other hand slid around my throat, his thumb pressing against my Adam's apple, until my breaths were just whispy little gusts. His eyes were wild, and frantic with some psychotic joy as he squeezed harder, gritting his teeth as he did so.

It reminded me of when I'd gone to the dentists office as a child. Of course, like any kid, I didn't like brushing my teeth. So I got cavities, and had to have fillings. I was terrified of the process, so the nurse had to put me into a calm state with some gas. It made me loopy and lightheaded, my body felt like it was made of lead. And I thought I was seeing things that weren't there, sometimes...

As the blackness began to infringe on my vision, and my lungs begged for air, I saw the blurry black outline behind Carl, I heard his throaty growling in my ears, and saw him grab Carl and throw him off.

The figure came closer, and crouched directly in front of me. I had to concentrate very hard to understand him through the ringing in my ears.

"Breath, come on Ash, in, come on, in."

I took my first agonized breath, and started coughing. I couldn't catch my breath again, I watch shaking terribly, and everything felt like it was shrinking. "Just like before, look at me."

I looked at his face, his beautiful, crystal blue eyes, and his gentle smile. Just like before, I noticed every detail of his face. The lip and nose ring he had, the weird, dark makeup he wore and that black strip of war paint he had brushed across his left cheek.

His calm voice kept instructing me, guiding me through the process of recovering, and preventing an incoming panic attack.

"Ah...Andy." I croaked, my hands frantically moving from my sides, reaching for the air, trying to touch his face.

He smirked, "Hey."

My lungs filled with air, and this time I did not cough or shake. My body was slowly relaxing, and room around us shifting back to normal.

"Close your eyes." He ordered.

"Why?"

"Please."

I slowly closed my eyes, and waited for him to say something else, and when he didn't, I opened my eyes, the ringing sound fading from my ears, I could hear someone's frantic voice. But what worried me, was that the voice wasn't Andy's.

CC was crouched in front of me, anxious and hectic.

"Ash, holy crap, are you okay?!"

I nodded, my hands beginning to quiver again. "Ye-Yes." I whispered, my hands shaking, I clutched them together tightly.

"Oh God..." His hand trailed along under my jaw, inspecting the damage. "You've got one hell of a bruise. Ash, I have to call 911."

"No, CC, no!"

"I have to." He wasn't joking around. He placed a hand against my collarbone, keeping me in place while he pulled out his phone and dialed the number.

"My parents can't know about any of this!" I wailed in panic, frightened tears building in my eyes. I couldn't quite define was was real and what was not. Andy had been here, or he hadn't. My parents might be mad at me for something out of my control, or they might support me. I couldn't get my mind to focus.

"Christian, please!"

"I need an ambulance at the Fair View Cafe on Main Street..." He glanced at me in concern, "Sexual assault and attacking."

My lip was quivering, and I felt betrayed, even though he was doing what he had to. He hung up, and shouted for Jinxx and Jake, and a few moment later, they walked in, oblivious to what had gone down until they noticed Carl passed out cold on the tile beside me, a nasty bruise forming on his forehead.

"You- You did that?" I whispered. CC looked over, and confusion was in his eyes. "No. No... I just found you like this. Maybe you did it before you went under?"

"Maybe." I remembered flashes, of my arms flailing, reaching to claw at his face as he choked me. My whole body shook, and tears were in my eyes. I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

"Hey, you're okay." CC, slipped right into his brotherly role, and wrapped his tatooed arms around me tightly, Jake and Jinxx anxiously asking what they could get me, while I broke down right then and there.

"Go inform the management, and tell the crowd we have to cut the set. I don't know what else to do." CC replied with a shrug. A moment later, they were both gone. And after they left, the EMT's were making their way into the small break room, with a stretcher, and a few of them inspecting Carl, while another one shined a flashlight into my eyes and asked me different questions. The whole thing just blurred for me, because my mind was elsewhere.

I closed my eyes, and I could see his. His brilliant, blue irises. His happy smile, and his cold hugs. Then another EMT told me I had to keep my eyes open, and loaded me onto a stretcher, placing a neck brace on me because of the excessive bruising, they couldn't be sure how much damage had been done.

I felt the burn of anger and sadness inside of me, followed by something much stronger. It saddened me when I realized what it was...

Andy was the only one who could keep me calm and drag me through things like this. All it took was a glance into his eyes, and I felt everything was okay. My body knew it, too. Craved his presence like a drug, so much so, that in my darkest moment, my mind conjured up his doppleganger just to get me through it.

Notes