Andy

From the moments I opened my eyes the next morning, I felt the heavy wave of grief. My eyes were open and I was breathing, but I felt no motivation to do anything. I just wanted to stay in bed all day and put off going anywhere.

Andy slept in the pink recliner chair in the corner under the window. He had been listening to music on my phone and fell asleep, now one headphone dangled, while the other stayed in place.

I lied there, staring up at the ceiling, before I finally dragged myself up, and went to the closet to look for some suitable clothes. It was a project I had put off doing all day yesterday. I didn't want to scour my closet for the costumary black clothing I didn't own. All the dresses I had, were colorful and would make me stick out even more than I already would, showing up to the funeral of a kid I didn't know, and a family I never talked to.

"You're up early." Andy grumbled as he woke up, stretching out of his uncomfortable position. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find something black." I grumbled in reply, digging through all my clothes again, in search of the wretched color among my dresses.

"Want to borrow something?" He suggested, I looked over my shoulder at him, and he was grinning. "Pass." I replied.

He materialized beside me and pointed at one, "What's wrong with that one?"

"I don't like that one..." I grumbled, trying to skip it, but he caught the fabric of the skirt and yanked it out to look at it. "What's wrong with it?" He demanded in amusement. He cupped his hand through the fabric, forming a mouth.

"Yeah! What's wrong with me, Asheen?!" It demanded through Andy's forced high-pitched voice.

I couldn't help busting up. I snatched it out of his hands. "Fine.. I'll wear the damn thing... Only because it's the only black dress I own. It's too damn dressy for a funeral." I grumbled. The black skirt would go all the way to my ankles. "It looks like something Jennifer Lawerence would wear." I sighed, holding up the dress for further examination.

"It ain't that bad. Put it on, or we'll be late."

He clapped my shoulder in amusement, and turned to continue wiping off his old eyeliner to replace it with a different design, and he added a stitch along the right side of his mouth.

I grabbed the dress unwillingly and took it to the bathroom so I could at least wash my hair and clean up first.

I looked in the mirror, and hardly recognized myself. I had dark circles around my eyes from having hardly slept the last two days. It was worth it to me. I'd just wear a little extra makeup. My hair was a mess, as well, but as soon as I washed it, the knots and tangles smoothed out into a dark green sheet that dripped down my back.

I dried my hair, and applied my makeup after I'd put on the dress, going through a ritual, preparing myself for the emotionally tolling day ahead. It couldn't be easy on anyone, could it?

Taking in slow, easy breaths, I kept myself calm as I continued to work. I cleaned up my eyeliner a bit, and looked in the mirror one last time, my green hair was pinned back in a mess of curls, and my face was pale. I looked sick.

I held onto the eyeliner, and tucked it into my purse, and headed back to my room to grab my shoes. I jumped when I saw my mom in there.

"Oh, there you are. Almost ready?"

I took another deep breath and forced a nod.

"You look beautiful." She smiled at me, and I gave a small one back, and went to grab my black heels off the bed. I hadn't picked them out, so clearly Andy had.

I laced them up, and when I looked up, he was there. He'd changed out of his Prophet jacket, and wore a simple black t-shirt, which looked unusual on him. I was used to seeing him look like he just walked out of war with Satan.

He pushed some of his black hair back off his forehead and exhaled loudly.

"Ready for today?" He asked.

I nodded a little. "You?"

"As I'll ever be."

I frowned, and finished organizing the contents of my purse, and I reached out to take his hand.

"Can people still see my hand if I hold yours?"

"Yes?" He said it like a question. "As long as you don't get excessively close to me, you'll remain visible."

"Okay... Hold onto my hand, and everything will be okay. If you get scared, or mad or anything, just give my hand a squeeze, and I'll squeeze back. That's how I tell you everything is okay."

He looked down at his left hand, dangling limply from mine, extended towards him.

"You're a good friend, Ash. A better friend than I deserve." He commented glumly.

I looked at him. "You're amazing, Andy. I love you very dearly, and I want you to be happy."

His eyes flickered to mine, then back to our interlocked hands. "Thank you." He responded, appearing distant from his usual self. "Let's get this over with."

He held my hand, his cold skin wrapped around my palm as we decended the stairs. I paid special attention to him, waiting for his squeeze of uncertainty to come.

"Ash, you ready?" My Dad asked when I'd joined him and my Mom in the foyer. I nodded, "Yeah."

His arm draped over my shoulders and he guided me to the car. Andy remained there, his hand freezing, shaking slightly.

I pulled open the back door, and pretended to be distracted for a moment, buying time for Andy to climb in first. As soon as I sat down in my own seat and shut the door behind me, his hand reached for mine again. A soft, squeeze curled around my hand, and I glanced in his direction without making his presence obvious.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

He nodded a little, and looked straight ahead. Eyes frozen on something in the distance.

I nodded back, and looked out my window, noticing that the cherry blossom trees in my neighbor's yard were beginning to bloom. I smiled, remembering how they smelled in the spring.

I looked over at Andy a few times during the drive.

"Where is the funeral being held at?"

"Heffron park." My Dad responded.

"So they're not doing it at the funeral home?"

"No, no, his family chose Heffron, because I guess Andy's Dad would take him fishing in the creek there when he was younger, and the whole family has a lot of memories with Andy there."

I looked over at him for a second opinion, he gave me two short nods in return. I looked down at my other hand, resting limp in my lap, atop the pale folder that contained my sheet music. I was surprised that Andy hadn't asked about it yet.

I had brought the sheet music for Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue, In The End, the song I sang for him yesterday afternoon, and the final song would be The Mortician's Daughter. But I wondered now if it was appropriate, given how Scout had effected Andy's past.

We pulled into the small, dirt parking lot outside the park. It was fenced in for the most part, with beautiful trees bordering the enterance. I had been here a few times when I was younger, and like Andy, I played in the river, made mud pies and caught fish with my parents for dinner.

A warm breeze blew through my Mom's open window, and lightly dusted hair back. I leapt a little when I felt something cold against my shoulder blade, and I looked over at Andy, but he was leaned across the seat between us, touching something on my shoulder.

"You have a tattoo?" He grinned, overjoyed, and easily distracted. I nodded, wishing I could engage with him more on this interesting topic. Of all the things we'd talked about, the mutual interests in tattoos was not one of the topics.

"When'd you get that?"

I pulled my hand from his, and held up ten fingers behind my mom's seat, then I tacked on another five. I had gotten it when I was fifteen, my parents took me on my birthday to get the simple treble clef on my left shoulder blade, because of my obsessive love for music.

"And I'm just now seeing it? Geez..."

I pressed my lips together and gave him a small smile. Being with him around other people was difficult. I could close the gap and sit right next to him, and we could talk as we pleased, but my parents might freak out if their daughter suddenly disappeared from the backseat, and then reappeared.

We climbed out after we'd parked, and I took a deep breath, hearing the birds chirping, and flying through the branches above.

Andy's hand was in mine again in an instant. I looked at him, and he gave me a thumbs up. "You have to meet my family now." He smiled cheekily, "You're the one who should be worried."

I couldn't tell if he meant that or not, but I began to worry anyways, and followed my parents down the thin trail, to where they had the funeral set up. Rows of folding metal chairs with the name of the rental place stamped on the back were lined up in a few simple rows.

In the front, was the casket table, but the casket hadn't arrived yet. There were towers of flower bouquets around the table, as well as a registration table, cluttered with family albums and framed photos of Andy with his family and friends.

I stayed close to my parents, until they began talking to some people.

"Asheen, this is Andy's mother, Amy Biersack." My Father introduced me to a woman with short, reddish brown hair. I stuttered, then felt Andy shove me in her direction. She was a little shorter than me, but wore a warm, kind smile.

"Hello, dear."

"Oh, hi." I smiled at her, "It's nice to meet you." I jabbed Andy in the ribs, pretending to be stretching my arms backwards.

"Nice to meet you, too. I sure appreciate the service you're providing us. It might not seem like much, but our Andy was an avid music lover, and he would love this."

I nodded, "You're welcome." I smiled at her.

"Hey Amy."

I turned around and saw the remaining members of Black Veil Brides approaching Andy's mother, I looked to him for an explanation, and he grinned. "They always had the 'mother/son' relationship with my mom, partially because she always baked them cookies when they came over for band practice."

I looked back and Amy hugged them each as though they were actually her own kids. "It's nice to see you boys again. Oh yes, one more thing! Asheen, this is Christian, Jeremy and Jake, they used to be in Andy's band. Jake volunteered to play the acoustic guitar for your set if you need him too." She gave me another warm smile, and I looked at the one named Jake, and realized how intimidating his looked.

"Thanks." I choked out, and he nodded.

"We should probably be signing in, we'll chat again soon." My Dad told Amy, and she smiled as we went to the registration table. I looked over all the mementos that were set out, and smiled at Andy as I flipped open a family album, to immediately be met by a picture of baby Andy.

My parents were further down the table and wouldn't hear us talking.

"Awhhh." I cooed, pointing at the picture, and he rolled his eyes. "Dammit..." He cursed under his breath.

I flipped the page to a picture of his third birthday, in which, he was wearing a Winnie The Pooh sweater. I couldn't help grinning. "You're adorable." I snickered, and he groaned. "Nope, no more pictures for you." And he slammed the album shut. I stuck my tongue out at him and turned around, only to almost walk into CC. He looked at me in confusion, then looked behind me.

"Uh... Mind if I ask what you were sticking your tongue out at?" He asked.

"Oh, uh... Nothing." I covered up, watching him narrow his eyes at me suspiciously, and then walk around me and swat at the air. Andy jumped out of the way to avoid the blows.

"Andy! Back from the dead!" CC snickered jokingly, before taking a sip of his punch and tossing the rest in the direction of the 'ghost', then walking away chuckling, I meanwhile, Andy stood there, looking down at his punch stained shirt.

"Dammit..." He cursed again, peeling it over his head and discarding it in a puff of smoke, and reproducing his Prophet jacket, replacing his nice shirt. "Want to look nice at my own funeral, and damn CC can't let that happen... Just like in high school, if you even dared wear something nice to school, he'd stain it so you had to change into your less desirable back up clothing." Andy snorted in annoyance, and I was busting up.

"I'm serious." He grinned, "Come on before he comes back and starts using a Quija Board, sprinkling salt in a circle around himself, while shaking a burning bush of sage."

"Aren't some of those things used to get rid of a ghost? Not attract one?" I whispered as we walked towards the stage area set up just in front of the coffin table. Someone had brought in an old upright piano, since a grand piano wouldn't have fit into a trailer.

"I don't think CC would know the difference..." He murmured as we walked.

I snickered.

"Hey, uh, Asheen, right?" I turned around, and Jake was there, with his thick, Kiss styled black hair and brooding expression.

"Just Ash." I corrected, noticing Andy walking around him, punching his arms.

"Mr. Turner told me last night I'd be playing with you?" He trailed off.

"Yeah, I mean, if you want to."

"Sure... What are we playing?"

I looked at Andy, and gave him the most discreet 'get lost' face I could, without weirding out Jake the way I had CC.

He grumbled, but left, crossing the small field, heading towards the creek.

"Last night Mr. Turner dropped by a copy of your guys' EP. I listened through it, and I was thinking, The Mortician's Daughter."

"Sure. I can do that. Anything else?"

I shook my head, "Nope. The other two are just piano. Thanks for helping me out." I added on gratefully.

He nodded, and headed towards the stage to check out his gear. I looked around for someone I knew, someone familiar, but all the faces I saw, all the eyes I met, were either related to Andy, or friends with him, so I decided to go find the man, myself.

I headed towards the creek when no one was looking, and came upon him, hidden by the trees, looking at the water. I stood beside him, but said nothing for a while. I hadn't asked him yet if he'd made the decision, and I didn't think I would. It was none of my business, and I didn't want to make him change his mind and choose something he didn't actually want.

"It's almost time." He said, standing there looking out at the surrounding forest.

I leaned back a bit to get a better look at the back of his jacket.

"Are those... Handcuffs?" I laughed.

He continued to onlook like a lion might look over it's pride. "Yes." He answered in a low voice.

"Why?"

"Yes."

"Huh?"

"Yes."

I smacked him in the arm with my purse. "Dammit, Andy." I scolded him, laughing. "I ask you a simple question and you go fricking silent assassin mode."

He grinned and smacked my arm. "We need to get back. They're starting soon."

We headed back up the hill, and one of my worst nightmares came true. Standing a ways up the hill, was CC, staring at me with suspiciously narrowed eyes. I looked down.

"What now?" I whispered, and Andy realized that we'd been noticed, well, not him, but me.

"Act normal, and for fucks sake, stop hitting me! That's why he's looking at you like you're mental." He snickered. To anyone else, it would've looked like I was beating the air with my purse like a weirdo.

I went to sit next to my parents, and Andy sat in the empty chair I saved him on the end of the row. I held out my hand, and he took it, looking nervous again. The hearse had pulled up in the lot behind us, and they were unloading the casket.

"All rise." The priest ordered, standing in front of the crowd on the sheet of green carpet that they had the whole funeral set up on.

We all stood, and turned in the direction of the casket barrers, hands resting over our hearts, silent while a soft song played through the speakers. I was okay, because there were far taller people than me around, and I couldn't see the casket yet. I kept breathing evenly, and then I felt a squeeze. I looked back at Andy and he nodded towards me, he was using the 'I'm okay' squeeze to reassure me.

I nodded, and looked forward again, gently squeezing his hand back.

But sooner or later, the casket barrers would reach the front, and they did. The carried it, on their shoulders, all of them wearing a solemn, saddened and rehearsed expression as the carried Andy to the front, and rested the casket on the table. Everyone continued to stand, as they opened the lid. Andy's mother, Amy, and her husband, Chris, stood up beside it, in a very uniform posture.

They unlocked the casket lid and lifted it open, and suddenly, Amy was squealing in surprise. People in the crowd with getting concerned, standing up, trying to see what was wrong. Chris held a hand over his mouth in shock while his wife stood there staring in surprise.

"What the hell is this?" He demanded, pointing at the mortician, Andy was snickering next to me. Jinxx got up to see what was the matter, stepping up to the casket, his eyebrows pulled together and then he laughed, "That would be Andy in his natural habitat."

Amy looked in shock, and slightly infuriated, looking over at her son, she finally sighed after several tense moments. Realizing it did look more like him than the original idea would have.

"Fine..." She sighed in irratation.

Jinxx guided Amy and Chris back to their seats just off the stage, and the priest continued.

"Now, as per request of Mr. and Mrs. Biersack, and Mr. Turner, Asheen Emily Hunter will be performing for us."

My breath hitched in my throat in horror, and Andy nudged me. I squeezed his hand and looked at him, he nodded and smiled, and pulled me up with him. He guided me towards the piano bench, and stood off to the side, just to my right.

I refused to look at the crowd, all those expectant faces. I sat there, and I placed my hands over the ivory and gave my mind a chance to catch up and begin playing.

The intro to Home Sweet Home was soft, and endearing, and the heavier notes stuck a bit of reality and sadness into it.

"You know I'm a dreamer, but my heart's of gold... I had to run away high, so I wouldn't come home low. Just when things went right, it doesn't mean they were always wrong, just take this song and you'll never feel left all alone..." I looked over at Andy, and he stood there with his arms crossed, smiling as he listened.

"Take me to your heart, feel me in your bones, just one more night, and I'm comin' off this long and winding road. I'm on my way, I'm on my way, home sweet home. Tonight, tonight, I'm on my way, I'm on my way, home sweet home..." I hummed the interlude, and played back into the verse softly.

"You know that I've seen, too many romantic dreams, up in lights, fallin' off the silver screen. My heart's like an open book, for the whole world to read, sometimes nothing keeps me together at the seams... I'm on my way, I'm on my way, home sweet home..."

My fingers glided over the keys, the old upright piano gave the song a strange sound, an antique feeling, I guess, to describe it the best. I continued to play, and smiled over at Andy, forgetting that I was seated in front of a crowd of people. The song's last verse drifted the song to a close.

I took a breath while the applause rained down, and I tried to block it out, not ot have a panic attack.

I reached up to adjust the mic a bit.

"Okay, so... Um..." I racked my brain for a nonchalant way to introduce the song Andy wanted me to play. "I wrote this song a while back, and I hope it helps you find comfort." I concluded, and I sat back down and adjusted my sheet music, taking a deep breath, I began to play.

"I know of a place, hidden away. Darkness cannot join. In the sun we can stay. We can talk, and we can smile, you won't disappear, and we'll walk for a while.
The darkness that is out there, cannot find us here. We are safe, here, on the otherside.
Do not grieve for I am gone. I have found my place with the Lord, He will keep me safe, and life was just a game. A test for the final judgment. Do not cry that I am gone, smile because I am still here. I've never left, and never will. I'm always here.
In the End. "

I was so relieved when that one ended, and Andy was smiling with so much joy, I thought he might explode. But what he didn't know, was that it wasn't over yet.

"I'd like to ask Jake Pitts to join me on the stage for a very special song." I introduced, and Andy looked at me in confusion. I met his gaze, but gave nothing away. Jake climbed up on stage and donned his acoustic guitar, and took a seat on the stool behind me, and got ready.

"This song had a great deal of meaning to Andy, and I think he'd appreciate it if you could all sing along... So, sing along if you know the words..." I looked down, and signalled Jake to start playing.

The piano didn't come in until around the second verse, so I sat there, waiting for my chance to sing.

"I open my lungs, dear," I sang softly, and smiled back at Andy. He stared at me in shock, stuttering, trying to comprehend the lyrics coming from my mouth.

"I sing this song at funerals... no rush. These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush. A baby boy you've held so tightly, this pain it visits almost nightly. Missing hotel beds, I feel your touch.
I will await dear, a patience of eternity, my crush. A universal still. No rust.No dust will ever grow on this frame, one million years, and I will say your name. I love you more than I can ever scream.
We booked our flight those years ago,I said, "I love you, " as I left you. Regrets still haunt my hollow head, but I promised you I will see you again, again."

I grinned at Andy then, listening to Jake strumming in the background, combined with the piano, created a very uplifting sound.

"I sit here and smile, dear," I grinned, and looked down at the keys, "I smile because I think of you and I blush. These bleeding hollow dials... This fuss.
A fuss is made of miles and travels, when roadways are but stones and gravel. A bleeding heart can conquer every crush.
We booked our flight those years ago, you said you loved me as you left me. Regrets still haunt your saddened head,"

I looked to the crowd, and there was a combination of people crying with proud smiles, and people singing along, swaying to the music softly.

"But I promised you that I will see you, we booked our flight those years ago, I said "I love you," as I left you. Regret's no longer in my head, but I promised you and now... I'm home again, again, again, I'm home again, again, again.
I'm home again."

Jake finished strumming the last chord, and it hovered in the air with the piano chord. When I looked at Andy again, he had tears of joy in his eyes, and was laughing. The crowd exploded into applause and cheers, and tears were falling left and right. Jake hopped down from his stool with his guitar, and I pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you." I whispered before pulling away, because I wanted to thank him on behalf of Andy, for all he'd done for him, and for myself, for helping me play through that song.

He nodded, and for the first time, he smiled, and I smiled back, turning to be pulled into an embrace by Amy. She had tears in her eyes, but her smile was so wide and proud.

"Thank you so much, Ash. I greatly appreciate it... And I think, Andy would have loved it, too." I smiled into her shoulder, and looked behind her, and sure enough, Andy was grinning and nodding.

"I would." He told me with a soft smile.

Notes