I hung up my phone and resisted the urge to set it on fire.

I had spoken with my father, and it had all been settled. On Saturday afternoon, Chris, Ashley, and Metatron would all come to (Y/N)’s abode.

Metatron was an unfortunate necessity. Though I had never met the being, I was afraid he would terrify (Y/N). I knew from others’ descriptions that he was nigh unto ten feet tall. It was a good thing (Y/N)’s apartment had high ceilings! Though I supposed it was better than the alternative, and having Aten himself come by. I’d be sorely tempted to give him a piece of my mind over quite a few things!

But really, as much of a foul taste as it put in my mouth to associate with Metatron, I felt even worse about Ashley coming here. He would, indubitably, endeavor to take my place. Try and tempt my fairest blossom into his loathsome, carnal embrace! Just the thought made putrid bile rise in my throat!

(Y/N) and I had talked, at length, about how she felt about the situation. Though human women were notoriously complicated when it came to their emotions, it seemed fairly plain to me that reluctance at leaving her family and friends behind was the foremost obstacle in her mind.

That seemed a paltry matter to me. If they were accepting, we would tell them the truth. If not, some deception would be devised. Worst case, I would simply have to come visit her if she refused to accompany me to the Underworld. No, what ate at me was a terrible, fearful insecurity.

I’d known (Y/N) for but a week, and, though I was new to romantic love, I knew full well that most long-lasting relationships were based on far more time spent together. However lethal my heart might be, I knew it was dedicated to (Y/N). But though I could taste her love for me, I worried it was not strong enough to carry through our time apart. I had no way of knowing in advance.

I would be gone many weeks, perhaps months. All that time, more time than she had ever spent with me, she would have Ashley for constant company. Steeped in my own melancholy, I wondered if perhaps I could send (Y/N) letters, flowers, or learn how to work electronic mail?

I would have to ask Metatron if I would be permitted to buy and use a personal computer. Indeed, doubtlessly I could learn how to use it for communications? I had no idea how they functioned in the Underworld, but I assumed that correspondence was possible. Surely, there had to be some way?

I stared wistfully at the rose (Y/N) had given me. It had a strong root system of its own now, and was well-set to plant, after its regular feedings. I knew exactly where I would put it. There was a spot, alongside the entrance, that would support a trellis with ease. My little garden wasn’t good enough for such a flower; I wished to see it every day, for the rest of my existence.

---

I spent each day sulking, thinking melancholic thoughts, and waiting for (Y/N) to return home from her daily labors. However, each evening was full of the delights of (Y/N)’s company.

On Friday morning, I decided I didn’t dare leave the containers of (Y/N)’s pleasure in the pantry, lest Ashley snack upon them! Though it would be impractical to bring them with me, I thought of a way. I would make them into cookies for myself!

Sadly, after about an hour of trying to interpret the recipe in the book I’d found, I realized it was beyond my skillset. I knew exactly what teaspoons and tablespoons were, but the rest was absolute gibberish! My lovely (Y/N) returned home to find me sulking, laying on my stomach and forlorn, on the divan.

As I heard her approach, my melancholia overwhelmed me at the pending loss of her company. “Beloved, do not even set eyes upon me, I am too wretched a sight for such enlivened orbs!” I dramatically turned on my back and flung my arm over my forehead, for effect.

(Y/N) snorted. “What’s gotten into you, aside from the obvious? I got you a prezzie!”

Immediately I was on my feet, hands outstretched excitedly, “Gimme! I love things!”

(Y/N) chuckled at me and reached into a bag, proffering me… clothing? I wrinkled my nose in distaste. “My garb is all custom tailored! Do you find me so unattractive in it that you’ve procured your own, generic, human fashions?”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Unfold it, Andy.” I did at she said, and was delighted at the result! Man shorts! With elastic! “I’ve noticed you wearing my shorts around everywhere, so I got you some boxers.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Boxers, mistress?” I stretched the waistline and inspected the plaid fabric. I saw no fighting men…

She pointed at the crotch of the garment. “Look, you can pee without taking them off. I can sew a quick hole for your tail.”

My mouth hung open in shock! “An opening! For urination! Brilliant!”

Immediately I shucked off (Y/N)’s shorts and put on my new boxers, ignoring the tag, leaving my tail above the elastic waistline, as I did (Y/N)’s. “Good, good, yes! I’ll go practice urination at once!”

Excited, I skipped off to the water closet. As I’d seen human males do, I carefully lifted the seat. Then I popped my manhood through the little fold of cloth. How smooth it was! It barely chafed!

Concentrating fiercely, I directed myself at the water within the toilet. Then, the moment of truth! I began to urinate!

Excellent! The stream sailed smoothly, hitting the inside of the toilet, and I only had to redirect a bit. But then, disaster struck! As my urine stream tapered off, its momentum lessened. Panicked, I moved closer over the toilet bowl, pushing to try and make the stream stronger once again.

Pits! I ran out of urine, and the last dribble almost landed upon my new man shorts! I found I was stuck with droplets at the end of myself. How was I supposed to get them off? Seeing (Y/N) wasn’t watching, I awkwardly leaned, grabbed some toilet tissue, and wiped them away.

Phew! I chucked the used tissue into the bowl, and then shut the seat and lid before flushing. That had been a close one! I knew human men simply jostled their manhood to free the droplets, but that simply had too little control over where they landed for my taste. I refused to despoil (Y/N)’s bathing area with my urine! Humans… what a strange lot.

I thought about the pleasure cookies I wanted as I washed my hands, then scorched them to dry. Hmm… Perhaps I could persuade my domestic goddess to grant me this favor?

Notes

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