Though I had, at last, mastered the task of remembering to fill a container with (Y/N)’s sweet, fiery energy before going to slumber after coitus, I nonetheless awoke in a foul mood. Frankly, I did not want to go on a quest to atone for my supposedly sinful behavior. I did not look forward to reopening old wounds for so many different women. And I certainly did not want to leave my delicate, little peach in Ashley’s lascivious hands!

(Y/N) had made me some waffles to cheer me before she left for work, but I could scarcely be roused from my brooding. I had only just discovered that I loved her; it seemed so unconscionable that we should be parted so soon!

I pulled on (Y/N)’s breeches, feeling too petulant to put on pants of my own. The elastic did make them really quite convenient, though they were perhaps a bit large for me in my current state.

Hmph! I fetched a whole pack of cigarettes and made my way out to the balcony.

My foul mood was completed when I heard the sounds of chipper songbirds singing gaily. Altogether thoroughly objectionable! Doubtless they would never be parted from their loved ones by horrible missions set upon them by the Creator! I shot a trail of smoke at one particularly lively, fat, little bird. Horrid, cheery thing!

I took a moment to reflect on all I had learned.

So, I was a cambion, with a human mother. I felt that disgrace was rectified by the fact that I did, in fact, recall loving my mother a great deal. It was also soothed by my father’s status. I had always felt I was exceptional, this explained that instinct, after a fashion.

And I was to become my father’s heir? Well, that also suited my temperament. Quite frankly, I was very keen on getting my way, perhaps this would result in that happening more often.

However, the idea that my soon-to-be-announced status might pose a threat to my beloved, or to my mother, was unacceptable. I resolved that, once I was free, I would destroy anyone who so much as blinked in a disapproving fashion.

That just led me to considering how (Y/N) had taken the news. She seemed, well... at best she seemed less than thrilled about going to live in my realm. I resolved to do whatever was needed to sway her.

If her family were religious, if I needed to masquerade as a human man, well, I would do it! Pits, I was halfway there already, it was hardly a falsehood! If they needed to have their approval bought, I would ply them with so many earthly riches, they would need financial advisors.

Briefly, I wondered about the human custom of holidays. Would I have to begin to celebrate the nativity holiday, in order to fit in with her family? Visions of having to wear one of those poof-topped hats and singing carols to writhing, squalling infants filled me with trepidation. And yet, I knew I would gladly perform such heinous acts to keep (Y/N)’s love, if only she would agree to forever be my queen.

That brought me full circle to considering the present situation. Clearly, I’d have to have a little discussion with Ashley, beforehand. Whether Adonai intended him as temptation or not, I would absolutely kill him if he laid a single claw upon my fair pixie!

I supposed it was out of the question to offer him some manner of bribery to complete his task free of any bull dung, given that the Infinite one had set us on this path, but it certainly was tempting. Indeed.

I inhaled deeply from my cigarette, letting my thoughts go where they might. Perhaps I would have a waffle or two in a spell.

Notes

I see I got a new subscriber! Welcome! If you like this story, be sure to check out the myriad of others I have available. :3

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Congratulations are due, of course, to Jake Pitts and Inna Logvin-Pitts, on their recent marriage! Best wishes to them for the future! I may not be the marrying type, but I certainly hope they both continue to be very happy with one another!

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Side note: I am very excited for the next episode of The Andy Show!

You, too, can watch, for as little as $2/month! That’s fucking crazy, guys! I have to say, I have really dug on the show so far, it has far exceeded expectations!

Want to get love advice from Joe Flanders? Want to watch Andy try and competitively eat foul jelly beans? Want to watch art critiques, testaments before Congress, see people get hit in the face with various and sundry nefarious items, witness the saving of a stray dog, and see the miracle of a dollar-store white elephant gift exchange (in which Joe cheated!)?

Of course you do! Would the fuck wouldn’t?

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