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Action Figure


I awoke, hung over, to the sound of Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” on the radio alarm. My head told me I had, indeed. I had 20 minutes before the dreadful alarm went off, so I rolled over further and reached for some ibuprofen from my bedside stand.

What the fuck?!?

Everything came back to me quickly, but it still didn’t explain why I now had a naked Andy Biersack, curled adorably in Mr. Sunshine’s kitty bed, that barely fit in the bed! Was I still drunk? Like, really drunk? I decided to run some basic tests.

I snapped my fingers. Yep, even able to snap with the left hand. Hmm… Ok, I held my hands far apart, then brought my pointer fingers together without any problems. Alright. I took the ibuprofen, then grudgingly hauled ass out of bed, and successfully walked an adequately straight line. Diagnosis: irritable and just hung over.

Well, I guessed I had told Andy I’d wake him up. I reached down and gently tapped him on his shoulder, noticing that when he slept, he was, indeed, completely rock-solid. “Andy?” He woke almost immediately, stretching languidly and smiling up at me. “Andy, you’ve almost doubled in size!”

“(Y/N), I didn’t notice, I was transfixed by the beauty of your alluring, (Y/E/C) eyes.” His smile widened. “Look! Even now, as your cheeks flush, it gives you such a fetching glow. And you would question why I am so intent on becoming human? That a simple statement regarding the truth of your loveliness is received with such lack of pretension and modesty only serves to make you all the more delightful in my eyes, (Y/N).” Andy shot me a flirty look. It was really a lot more effective with a bigger head, I thought. I then proceeded to realize that was something I had never expected to think. Ever.

The early morning went pretty smoothly. I talked Andy into staying out of the shower. After all, he wasn’t supposed to get wet. I got dressed quickly, readied the laptop, then briefed him on google searching, itunes, youtube, how to watch interviews, and wrote down some terms he could look up. I was relieved to learn Andy could read and seemed familiar with the concept of music and lyrics- otherwise his quest to research his namesake would have had a significant roadblock. Just as I was walking out the door, I remembered to warn him that ‘Average Joe’ was a comedy series made in satire, and to be aware that sometimes Andy Biersack used sarcasm as humor. Andy settled himself into the couch, looking excited, and assured me that he would do his best to understand, before waving goodbye and blowing me a kiss. Touched, I wondered where he had learned that? I blew him a kiss too, and headed off to work.


I shall miss Average Joe once they're all done!



I totally have the figurines sitting on my shelf right now. Though mine are significantly different from the one in the story, ha! French is a bitch so I feel you, I took it on and off for nine years in my early youth. I'm definitely planning on writing a sequel at some point, but I have so many ideas stored up, it may be a while.

SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah


but maybe after ADR/B is finished ;)

"Of course I speak English- everyone speaks English!"

Lol tell that to my French teacher who failed me like twice! XD (p.s. I was actually good at that class so that says a lot!)

I'm only on chapter three so no spoilers but... this reminds me of a story I read before on Tokiohotelfiction.com and it's a little spooky but it's making me laugh so hard XD (I will mention that this story is obviously inspired by the figurines and that story came out in like 2008 so they're very different but the premise is the same)

Im really enjoying this story so far! I'm about to run out of finished stories though. *cries* Personally I don't have one of the figurines- I found them a little unnerving myself but I probably would have Ashley cuz yea- I'm a bad boy addict :3


I'm so glad! I plan to write a sequel at some point, if you're interested you can vote in the poll, or rate this if you like. In the meantime, I've got quite a few other stories I've written. :3

SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah