Action Figure

My mouth dropped open. “Please don’t die of fright, please?” I just stared at the tiny, talking Andy as he stood up on his pedestal, gesturing passionately. “If you die I’ll have no reason to go on. What’s your name? I’ve been at pains to know!”

“(Y/N)” I said, absently. Little-Andy’s face brightened instantly.

“That’s beautiful!” He held out his hand, and I wasn’t sure what he wanted, it wasn’t like we could shake… He was- a tiny, talking, weird, Andy! What the fuck?

After a while, I awkwardly offered him my pointer finger, and he took it in his hand and kissed it. “(Y/N)…” He muttered to himself, and I found myself blushing, confused.

“What are you? Who are you?”

“Staramba had no idea that the sandstone used to make me was, well… The best human word might be magic? What matters now is that I am yours, I am your Andy, (Y/N). I can learn things from touch, it’s the nature of stone. Time has crushed so much into me, through the years, I have learned to absorb very rapidly.”

I was shocked. “Are… But…”

“I… I can sense things, (Y/N). I know you need a man that is your size, made of flesh and blood, not a miniature man of stone. Do you know how to make me human?”

This was too much. Too much. “Like, like Pinocchio? The fairytale? No, I didn’t know magic was real. I, I’ve never seen men made out of stone. I’ve never seen any tiny men. What should I call you? Do you eat? Do you want to stay here? How can I help you?”

Andy looked frustrated. “You don’t understand, (Y/N). Your emotions are the most genuine thing I’ve ever felt. I love you, I’m devoting my life to you. I want you to call me Andy, if you will.” He looked hurt and resigned. “Little-Andy if you absolutely must.” He cleared his throat.

“Regardless, to answer your questions: I do not need to eat, I do indeed wish to stay with you until the end of eternity, and the only help I need is in knowing how best to make you happy until I can become human. Mark my words: I shall find a way. Well, and I suppose, if you could help me research my namesake. I wish to be true to form, so as to best please you.”

I looked at Andy. “I think I need a drink.” Andy nodded.

“I know from you that Andy drinks alcohol too. Do you have any Seagrams 7?” I groaned. Of course I did.

Notes

I like being sweet-talked!