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Action Figure


I sat on my bed for a while, wanting to honor Andy’s wishes for privacy. We had been having so much fun together as I taught him about the human world. Every day he was bursting with new questions and enthusiasm. He had also been dogged in learning about me: my favorite things, my past, even how I prefer my clothes be folded, despite having been too small to do it himself.

But now that Andy was the size of a man, he was more like a living statue. A statue I had grown to love and be sexually attracted to. Shit, what the fuck was I supposed to do? Why couldn’t he be made of, like, smooth marble, instead of abrasive sandstone? Was I a total pervert for thinking that?

And, frankly, hiding a life-size, living, stone, Andy Biersack was probably going to be a lot harder than a tiny figurine. How the fuck would I explain it if someone saw him? How could I protect him? He was so innocent! Why the fuck was I thinking about my vagina when I need to be thinking about Andy’s safety, for fuck’s sake?

When I walked into the front room, and saw a brooding, naked, stone Andy, I remembered immediately why my vagina had come to mind. He looked up at me, wiping a stray drop of mud from his face, his eyes a bit puffy. “(Y/N), I am a danger to you at this size. Stone is very heavy, I could easily damage your things, scratch your computer-“

I wasn’t having any of his negativity! “-I’ve thought about that, Andy! I know what to do, but don’t laugh, ok?”

I went back into my bedroom, and got some expired condoms. I opened them, tossed the wrappers, then rinsed the lube off in the sink and patted them dry. I showed Andy. “I’m going to go to the store right now and get you some proper gloves, ok? I’ll get some gloves made of this material, and I’ll also get some gardening gloves, to see which ones you like better. But while I’m out, I want you to have something so that you won’t get bored.”

Andy took a condom hesitantly from me. I couldn’t help but notice he was getting hard, it was difficult to miss now that he was so enormous and totally naked. I thought he might be embarrassed, so I pretended not to notice. “(Y/N), this is a condom, is it not? What the male puts on his phallus for when he pleasures the female?” I nodded, starting to feel a little hot, suddenly very conscious of the fact that I was still naked.

“I have not gotten abrasions previously when I have stroked myself. Do you think I will now that I have increased in size?” I actually had gotten the condoms with his fingers in mind. But, uh, um…

I blushed. “Well, I got them so you could use the computer while I was out. But before I go, it might be best to just check and make sure that you’re still comfortable, so I don’t need to buy more condoms, you know?”

Andy nodded in agreement and pumped himself a few times. Wow. Just wow. Andy didn’t look terribly invested, but I was extremely disappointed when he stopped. “No, it feels the same, (Y/N).” He sighed. “I, uh, do not have the desire to follow through to completion. I apologize. It’s not the same without you, really.”

My head was foggy with desire. I wanted to get Andy off; I wanted him to cum as my man. I couldn’t run my hands through his hair, but I stroked it carefully. “Let’s try something new, Andy.”

He looked hesitant. “Stone is dangerous, you could be hurt-“

I reached for his erection, literally rock-hard, and wrapped my hand around it, making him shudder. “-Shhh, I’ll be careful.”

I ran my hand up and down his length, rasping my palm, grating at the skin. It hurt a bit, but I didn’t care. “(Y/N)!” Andy was totally overwhelmed, he gripped my shoulders and held on to me, putting his face into the crook of my neck, panting.

He groaned, sending a chill up my spine, as I worked his strange member. “I’ve never felt such pleasure! Please, you’re hurting yourself, stop! Stop!” He whimpered pitifully, and I felt his cock throb with a bizarre warmth.

“Arghh! I can’t let you hurt yourself!” Andy wrenched away from me, his erection jutting out as he licked his lips, scowling. He jerked on himself for a moment, then stopped and slapped his face. “Curses! Torture!” Then he laid on his back and covered his hands with his face, groaning miserably.

I looked at my hand. Oops, Andy was right, it was pretty raw and scratched up.

Wait a second… I ran back in my room, grabbed a few things, and was back in a jiffy. I opened another expired condom and rolled it over Andy’s still prominent shaft. He sat up on his elbows, giving me a dubious look. I smiled. “Tell me how this feels.” I used my other hand and started stroking. I was right-handed, so it was more awkward, but it seemed to have the desired effect.

“Ah! (Y/N)! You are a goddess!” Abruptly, Andy stilled my hand by gently gripping my wrist. “(Y/N), this cannot proceed! Your sex remains untouched, and yet you have lubricated it with your arousal. I will not allow you to take me to orgasm unless you have already come there. You are my queen, (Y/N). How can I simulate the male?”

Andy’s gaze was heated with lust, but also care. He really wouldn’t allow me to give him a handjob, even though he’d never had one, without ensuring I got off as well? I thought about it for a moment.

I took one of the first condoms I had brought over. “Do you remember the first time you watched me, how I touched myself?”

Andy smiled. “I think often of the intricacy of your beautiful petals and the pretty pink jewel that lives in its sacred cave, (Y/N). I love watching the glistening of your nectar as your flower blooms, and the swelling of your jewel into a ripening bud as you come to orgasm. There is no more sensual a sight.”

I blushed. “Yeah, smooth operator. You sure have a way with words! Well, give me your hand.” I took two of Andy’s fingers, and slid the condom over them. I sat back and spread my legs. “Try to touch me like that, as I touch you.”

Andy’s mouth fell open with delight, but he went for the task with gusto. Perhaps it was his gift with touch and he was able to sense what felt best, but he was a natural.

Soon we were kneeling, facing each other and embracing, panting. I was pumping Andy as he made delicious noises in my ear and worked my clitoris like a savant. I felt his other hand, very, very gently touch one of my breasts, and that had me going towards my end.

God, I loved him. I loved this man, and he loved me. It was strange, but we were making love in our own way. Impulsively, I pulled his heavy, stone head away from my neck and kissed his rough, stone lips. Feeling Andy’s lips on mine for the first time, his hand caressing my breast, as he feverishly massaged my clit, I came. I came, and came, and came. I accidentally squeezed Andy’s cock too hard and heard him yowl and grip my chest as he came, thrusting into my hand and filling the tip of the condom with mud.

For a moment, I just rested my forehead against Andy’s rough one. When we pulled apart, we were both smiling, but my expression quickly turned to dismay. What had I done? I hadn’t meant to hurt him!


uh-oh! something's gone awry!



I totally have the figurines sitting on my shelf right now. Though mine are significantly different from the one in the story, ha! French is a bitch so I feel you, I took it on and off for nine years in my early youth. I'm definitely planning on writing a sequel at some point, but I have so many ideas stored up, it may be a while.

SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah


but maybe after ADR/B is finished ;)

"Of course I speak English- everyone speaks English!"

Lol tell that to my French teacher who failed me like twice! XD (p.s. I was actually good at that class so that says a lot!)

I'm only on chapter three so no spoilers but... this reminds me of a story I read before on Tokiohotelfiction.com and it's a little spooky but it's making me laugh so hard XD (I will mention that this story is obviously inspired by the figurines and that story came out in like 2008 so they're very different but the premise is the same)

Im really enjoying this story so far! I'm about to run out of finished stories though. *cries* Personally I don't have one of the figurines- I found them a little unnerving myself but I probably would have Ashley cuz yea- I'm a bad boy addict :3


I'm so glad! I plan to write a sequel at some point, if you're interested you can vote in the poll, or rate this if you like. In the meantime, I've got quite a few other stories I've written. :3

SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah