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Action Figure


When I got home from work, I was amused to find Andy with several wads of tissue by him on the couch. I was also relieved to find he was the same size and hadn't grown any further. “Did you jerk off while I was out?”

He turned pink, looking guilty. “I’m so sorry, am I not supposed to?” I shook my head, laughing.

“It’s fine, so long as you don’t make a mess, you silly goofball!” Andy stood up, still naked, and came after me as I went down the hall. Where was I going to find him some clothes?

“It isn’t the same when you’re not there, doing it with me, (Y/N), it doesn’t feel as good. I was experimenting to see if coming to orgasm would make me grow more, make me human, and it did nothing! I was so disappointed, I don’t know if I ever want to come there again, (Y/N).”

Poor guy, he was so sweet. “Well, Andy, if you don’t want to masturbate, you never have to, ok? Just don’t mind me when I do, alright? I get sexually frustrated, I do it every, I dunno, 2 or 3 days or so, I guess. You don’t need to watch-“

Andy blurted, “-But I loved watching! I loved touching!” I could see he was starting to get excited, and frankly, so was I. I was still feeling a little weird about last night, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I needed to shut this down quickly.

“We’ll see. Tell me about what you found on the internet today.” I smiled at Andy, who ran his hand through his hair (I wondered why it was that it would part for him, but it was solid when I touched it?), before talking to me about hand-egg, jackal penguins, and asking how people who were damned could still play music on the terrestrial plane. Oh man… Oh man… The reality of educating a miniature, magical, stone man (that was intent on becoming my personal Andy Biersack, no less) on the ways of the world began to sink in a little. How could I comfort him when he failed?

Then, the unbidden thought: What the fuck would I do if Andy succeeded? Birth certificate, social security number, passport, how could...? Nah! I mean, sure, the whole situation was weird, but that was too far-fetched.


A couple action figures of one of the greatest villains ever:



I totally have the figurines sitting on my shelf right now. Though mine are significantly different from the one in the story, ha! French is a bitch so I feel you, I took it on and off for nine years in my early youth. I'm definitely planning on writing a sequel at some point, but I have so many ideas stored up, it may be a while.

SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah


but maybe after ADR/B is finished ;)

"Of course I speak English- everyone speaks English!"

Lol tell that to my French teacher who failed me like twice! XD (p.s. I was actually good at that class so that says a lot!)

I'm only on chapter three so no spoilers but... this reminds me of a story I read before on Tokiohotelfiction.com and it's a little spooky but it's making me laugh so hard XD (I will mention that this story is obviously inspired by the figurines and that story came out in like 2008 so they're very different but the premise is the same)

Im really enjoying this story so far! I'm about to run out of finished stories though. *cries* Personally I don't have one of the figurines- I found them a little unnerving myself but I probably would have Ashley cuz yea- I'm a bad boy addict :3


I'm so glad! I plan to write a sequel at some point, if you're interested you can vote in the poll, or rate this if you like. In the meantime, I've got quite a few other stories I've written. :3

SmuttyPariah SmuttyPariah