Birthday Present

“Andy, Andy, take it easy, dude. You need to be able to function if you seriously want to go through with this.” I groaned. (Y/n) was right, how the fuck did I get myself into this? I handed him the bottle after taking several swallows that burned on the way down. Seagrams, Seagrams, give me strength…

“I know, I just, uh…” I didn’t want to say anything insensitive, and I was drunk. (y/n) was like my brother. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, (y/n), you have, you know, great hair.” He burst out laughing.

“You are so pussy-whipped, Biersack. Jesus fucking christ.” (y/n) helped himself to some of my liquor, laughing at me, unimpressed at my attempt at positivity in a bizarre situation. Ugh. Fuck this. I made a swipe for the bottle, but (y/n) was far more sober, and easily kept it out of my grasp, chortling away. I wrinkled my nose at him. (y/n) fluffed his hair at me and took another swig, standing and prancing around, all grand hand gestures and melodramatic expressions, as he started to lecture me while I sulked in the recliner.

“Andy, you look miserable. People have called you a ‘faggot’ for years, and you’ve vehemently denied it. Frankly, I think this is a terrible idea. You’re as straight as an arrow.” He took another swig, raising his eyebrows at me, high and mighty, as his eyes watered a bit from the sting of the liquor.

“(y/n), look. Juliet has talked about wanting to see me blast a dude for years.” (y/n) rolled his eyes and I made a swipe for the Seagrams when he wasn’t paying attention. Success! I managed a quick nip before he stole it back and tottered a bit on his heels before taking a pull and sitting down abruptly on the floor. We both laughed. “You fucking pansy- I can’t very well fuck you in the ass if you’re passed out, give me that, (y/n), you can’t hold your liquor!”

He snuggled the bottle to him, tittering. “No way, fucker! I’ll need it if I’m going to get deflowered by a cranky straight man who’s only interested in pleasing his fag-hag woman!”

I flipped him the bird and lit a cigarette. “Asshole! I’m not gay, and Juliet likes me just fine, thank you very much. She just wanted something special for her birthday, dickhead. And if I actually have to stick my cock in a man’s arse, I find yours to be the most tolerable.” I meant it as a touching statement, but (y/n) burst out laughing.

“Ah, fuck! My sides!” I glared at him, and had a go at reaching for the Seagrams, but lost my balance and fell over on my side on the floor, dropping my cigarette and burning my carpet before I rescued it. Fucking oops. (y/n) went into complete hysterics, and soon I was laughing too.

“You’re an asshole, (y/n).” I was grinning. (y/n) was actually quite the opposite.
I wasn’t sure if (y/n) was totally gay, or if he liked chicks too, or what. He flirted with everyone so it was hard to tell. But I knew he was quite experienced with the whole, uh, actual man-sex thing. And he was one of my best friends.

So when I decided to bite the bullet and fuck a man-ass on video for Juliet’s birthday, god fucking help me, I’d thought of him first, without question. I knew (y/n) would never tell a soul. And I knew he’d, well, frankly, hold my damned hand through the whole thing. I had kissed some dudes before, for humor’s sake, and I’d had anal with women, but I’d never, uh, had actual relations, with a man. Reason being that men did not arouse me. So how I was going to pull this off I wasn’t sure.

“No, Andy, I think I’m being a pretty good sport. Some guys are totally into that whole, ‘I want a hot straight man,’ but not I. This is more like, ‘one of my best friends is about to struggle to maintain an erection, and then, despite his repulsion, stick it in my butt. I might physically enjoy it, but I know you’ll be hating every moment and thinking of someone else, dude, so I’ll definitely be finishing this bottle afterwards.” (y/n) raised the bottle at me in a toast and gave me a little melancholy smile before taking a good pull. Though his tone was that of humor, I wasn’t so wasted I couldn’t sense that there was truth and bitterness there.

I really wanted to give Juliet this video as a present. I didn’t dare trust anyone else to do it with, only (y/n). I blinked, my thoughts coming a little slower than usual.

“Andy? You ok? We don’t have-“ (y/n) looked concerned, moving to sit closer to me.

“-Dude, hold on a sec.” I patted his arm reassuringly. I couldn’t concentrate on two things at once, I was too drunk. Where was I? Right- I only wanted to do this with (y/n). (y/n) was an awesome dude, he had a great sense of humor, he was fucking arrogant as shit sometimes, but whatever, I guess we had that in common… It hurt him that I was going to grit my teeth and be the asshole straight-guy, thinking of pussy while in his ass. I didn’t want to hurt (y/n). I couldn’t.

I squinted as I concentrated, considering a new possibility. I trusted (y/n) completely, I knew he would never tell. I took a drag of my cigarette before stubbing it out, then looked him in the eye. They were soft now, worried. He had really long, dark eyelashes. Fuck it, they were pretty. I could do this, I was going to do this. I was going to make a fucking gay porn for Juliet’s birthday, so fucking help me, and not a chance in hell I would hurt my fucking brother by another mother while doing it.

“(y/n), give me the bottle.” I held my hand out. It wasn’t a request.

“Andy? Are-“ I shook my head.

“I need you to trust me, ok? Give me the bottle. I need some liquid courage. Right now. Please.” (y/n) passed me the bottle without a word, and I tipped it skywards, counting swallows. I stopped at six and gave him back the bottle with a little hiss.

Notes

#1/8