Lost It All

The bus was quiet as it traveled into the night towards the next city. Jake and Jinx were in the back watching a movie and CC was in his bunk doing who knows what. Andy was taking a shower and that left Katerina in the kitchen as she was getting a drink. Opening the fridge she pulled out a bottle of water. She was already ready for bed, wearing one an oversized Black Veil Brides t-shirt with all the boys’ faces emblazoned across her torso. Her blonde hair was piled upon her hair in a mess bun. She had taken a shower earlier after they had boarded the bus and gotten on the road. She opened the water and took a long gulp. She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. While she was on the bus, her mind was a million miles away. Her thoughts were on her best friend. Pulling her knees up she wrapped her arms around them, hugging them.

Katerina rested her head upon her knees as she thought about the concert tonight. A smile etched itself on her lips as she remembered how incredible Andy was. From his amazing vocals to the way he strut across the stage, Katerina had been extremely turned on tonight. There was the problem. She couldn’t be turned on by her best friend. You don’t feel this way about your best friend and you don’t certainly fall in love with him.

“I thought I heard noises out here.” Ashley came walking out from the back.

With her head snapping up, Katerina gave the bassist a smile as she watched him grab a beer out of the fridge and then come to sit down beside her. “Hey Ash. I just was thirsty so I grabbed some water.”

Popping open the beer, Ashley took a long gulp off it. He licked his lips as he then turned to her, smiling. “Hey beautiful.” He cocked his head. The way Katerina was hugging her knees she looked almost like a scared little girl. She seemed fine after the concert and even when they boarded the bus. Now she seemed almost sad. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He reached over and rubbed her back. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Giving the man a nod, she sighed. “I know Ashley. It’s just this week has been tough. I’ve got so much on my mind.” She rubbed her cheek on her knees.

“Listen I know that I haven’t known you as long as Andy. But I’m a good listener.” Ashley took another sip of his beer. “Whatever is said between us will stay between us if that’s what you want.” He kept rubbing her back softly. He didn’t know what was bothering her but it was definitely eating her up inside and he didn’t like that. Since he met her Ashley really liked the woman.

Staring ahead it was several moments before Katerina spoke. She knew that Ashley could be trusted. After all he was so sincere. It wasn’t that she felt she couldn’t talk to him. However this was the first time she was voicing her feelings to anyone. It wasn’t easy to admit that you were in love with your best friend. Taking a long deep breath, she let out a small laugh. “I’m—in love with someone and I can’t tell them.”

Ashley froze with the beer bottle half way to his lips. That was the last thing he was expecting that she’d say. But it wasn’t a complete surprise because he and CC were wondering what was going on with her. He lowered his beer and licked his lips. “Why can’t you tell him, Kat?” He asked her. “I mean any guy would be lucky to have a girl like you be in love with them.”

Katerina blushed as she hugged her knees tighter. “You’re too sweet, Ashley.” She gently nudged him with her knee. Then she sighed. “I can’t tell him because he doesn’t feel that way about me, for starters. Plus, we’ve known each other for way too long and I’m afraid our friendship would be ruined.”

Ashley took a huge gulp of his beer. Lucky fucking Andy. The woman was in love with him and the bastard couldn’t even see it. “How do you know he doesn’t feel that way about you? Especially if he doesn’t know that you love him?” He tilted the top of the bottle towards her. “I think you need to tell him, whoever he is.” He advised her. “Speaking of him, who is he?” Ashley knew who he was but he wanted Katerina to tell him.

A blush covered her cheeks from the roots of her hair down to her neck where it disappeared into her shirt. “Fuck that!” She shook her head. “I can’t tell him! One, it would be too embarrassing because he would just tell me I’m his best friend. Two, it’s none of your business!” She retorted.

“Kat, you need to tell Andy you’re in love with him.” Ashley spoke softly.

“I never said it was Andy!” Katerina protested. “Who said it was Andy?”

Ashley reached over and took her hand in his. “You said it was your best friend. Who else is your best friend if not Andy?” His thumb brushed against her palm soothingly.

Katerina’s face drained of color as realization hit her and she crumpled up. Her eyes filled with tears as she shook her head. “Ashley you can’t tell him!” She whispered. “He has his life here and we’re friends.”

“Hey hey relax!” Ashley put the beer down on the table and then reached over and pulled her to him. “I’m not gonna tell Andy anything.” He hugged her as he rubbed her back. “But you will. Andy needs to know how you feel, sweetie.” Ashley did his best to calm her down. “You can’t keep carrying on like this.”

“Thank you.” Katerina let out a long ragged breath. “I don’t have to tell him anything. I’ve kept my secret this long. I can keep it forever.” She replied stubbornly.

Ashley’s eyes widened. “Just how long have you felt this way?” He pulled back to look at her. When she didn’t say anything, he frowned. “Kat?”

She mumbled something.

“Katerina!” Ashley nudged her.

“Since I was a teenager!” She snapped. “But I never got the chance to say anything to him because he left to go to LA. I never saw him again until today. He was supposed to call me and tell me he was ok. I was supposed to come visit him. I had planned on telling him then.” She looked down. “I had a lot of plans. But then things changed. Plans changed. I went to New York. I got my own career and became my own woman.” She looked at Ashley. “Tonight, hearing him sing….I realized that nothing has changed. I’m still in love with the jerk.”

Ashley burst out laughing and hugged her. “Yeah, he has that effect on people.”

“You’re laughing at me?” Katerina pushed at his chest. “You think I’m acting like some hormonal fan girl?”

“No no that’s not what I meant.” Ashley protested. “I mean that he can do what he wants to wrap you around his finger. Only with you, I think he cares about you too.”

“What makes you say that?” She asked him. “He sees me as his best friend.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” Ashley shook his head. “Listen Kat, it’s obvious you love Andy. I can see it in your eyes and the way you’ve acted around him. If you really love him, you have to tell him. It will eat you up inside if you don’t. You’ll die inside as the days go on.” His face softened. “I don’t want to see that happen to you sweetie. Even if he tells you that he only sees you as a friend, at least you’ll know. But you have to tell him.”

Listening to the advice that Ashley was giving her, Katerina bit her lower lip. “I’ll think about it.”

Knowing that this was the best he was going to get out of her, Ashley nodded. “Ok. At least think about it.” He gave her a friendly hug. “I’m glad I dragged their asses to that fashion show.” He laughed.

Katerina giggled softly. “So am I. I can’t thank you enough, Ash.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I owe you for that.”

“What’s going on here?”

Both Ashley and Katerina whipped around to find Andy standing in the doorway as he stared at them. He had just come from the shower because he had a pair of sweat pants on that hung low on his hips. His chest was bare and still dusted with a few water droplets. His black hair was still wet and spiked up. He had the towel from his shower draped over one shoulder. But it was the look in his eyes that had them both pulling back.

Ashley gave him a grin. “Nothing man. Kat was upset about something so I was just giving her advice on how to handle it.”

Andy frowned as he walked into the living room. “Are you ok, Kitty Kat?” He sat on the couch next to her and grabbed the towel to dry his hair.

Before she could answer Ashley stood up. “You know what I’m gonna let you guys talk. I’m practically falling asleep here. I’ll see you both in the morning. Night Kat.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

“Night Ashley.” She smiled up at him.

“Night Andy.” Ashley playfully leaned over and went to kiss the top of his head.

“Get the fuck out of here.” Andy laughed as he pushed his friend out of the way.

Ashley laughed as he waved to both of them. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Night kids.”

“That’s not a very long list!” Andy called out only to be given the finger by Ashley. When they were alone, he turned to Katerina. “Are you ok? What’s wrong?”

Katerina suddenly felt very nervous. She wanted to tell him the truth. She wanted to blurt out how she felt but deep down her common sense told her no. “I’m fine Andy. I was just going over this week and how everything seemed to have gone wrong.” She got up and then moved so she was sitting on the back of the couch behind Andy. She grabbed the towel and rubbed it through his hair, helping him dry it.

Leaning back against her, Andy let his head fall back as he let her dry his hair. “Yeah it started out as a bad week for you. But it did get better, right?” He asked. “I mean we found each other again. Then you’re here with me, on tour. That’s good.”

“Being reunited with you and being here is the best thing ever.” Katerina grinned as she ran the towel over his head. She playfully dropped the towel on his head. She giggled as she heard Andy growl. She outright laughed as she felt him grab her and pull her down. Before she knew it her back was against the couch and Andy was on top of her, staring down at her. “No fair! You’re bigger than I am!”

“You messed with the hair!” Andy teased. He took her arms and raised them up so they were over her head. “Now I have to torture you.” Once he moved her arms it became very evident to him that she didn’t have anything on underneath the t-shirt she was wearing. He could feel the fullness of her breasts pressing up against his chest. Andy swallowed hard when he felt her nipples harden and the first thing that popped into his mind was bending his head to suck them over the cotton. But he knew he couldn’t do that no matter how much he wanted to.

“Don’t you dare!” Katerina protested but her voice was weak. “I’m sorry for screwing with your hair!” She giggled.

“You must be punished or offer me a boon in return.” Andy’s voice was husky.

“What do you want?” She smirked. “How are you gonna punish me Andy?” She teased.

“What do ya have to offer?” Andy wiggled his eyebrows. “How about a kiss?”

Now it was time for Katerina to raise her brows. “A kiss?” She shrugged as much as she could. “Ok. Not a biggie.” She lifted her head and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

Andy gave her a look of pure annoyance. “You call that a kiss?” He shook his head in disappointment. “Kitty Kat…I thought you were smarter than that.”

“What?” She laughed. “That was a kiss!”

“Yeah if it was a ninety year old grandma! I mean a real kiss.” Andy sputtered.

Katerina sucked in her breath. Did Andy know what he was talking about? Did he mean a real kiss kiss? Or just a quick peck on the lips? “Ookkk.” She lifted her head again and gave him quick soft peck on the lips. “There.”

The kiss was so sweet but over way too soon for his liking. Andy gasped. “That’s what you call a kiss?” He sighed dramatically. “It looks like when you want something done you’ll have to do it yourself.” He shook his head making a tsk tsk tsk sound. “I’m gonna have to punish you now.” He smirked.

Knowing that his punishments were usually tickling, Katerina began to squirm. “Fuck no! No tickling.” She laughed. “I mean it!”

“Then hold still. I’m taking my kiss!” Suddenly Andy’s voice took on a very dominate tone.

She didn’t know why but Katerina was suddenly turned on by the more dominate Andy. She held very still as his head lowered and it was then she felt his full lips brush back and forth against hers. This was the moment she had been waiting for her entire life and it felt as if it was a dream. She could feel the coldness of his lip ring against her lower lip and it only added to the forbiddances of it all. Katerina couldn’t help herself; she gave in and began to kiss him back.

Only meaning to give her a sweet soft kiss, Andy’s plans went out the window the second his lips touched Katerina’s. The instant he kissed her something flared up inside of him and caused his stomach to roll and his skin to tingle. Then she had to go and kiss him back. Right now stopping wasn’t an option. He deepened the kiss as he slanted his mouth over hers, taking full control of her lips. His tongue slid out and brushed against her lower lip. Fuck, the taste of her mouth alone was driving him wild.

Katerina arched up against him as she felt his tongue tease her lower lip. Her skin broke out into goosebumps at the feel of his velvety tongue against her lips. She opened her mouth and it wasn’t long before her tongue met his. It was awkward at first as their tongues nervously battled for dominance but she let Andy take control. She gave in willingly as she followed his every move. It was only when he captured the tip of her tongue to suckle on it that she let out a very tiny moan.

Hearing her moan, Andy felt his cock twitch in his sweat pants. Slowly the kiss broke as he nuzzled against her. He moaned himself as he felt her tongue flick against his lip ring. They both were breathing a bit heavily as he pulled back enough to look into her eyes. Katerina’s eyes were glazed over a bit and he imagined his matched hers. He moved one hand off hers and he brought it down to caress her cheek. “Now…that’s a kiss.” He whispered.


~ ~ ~


Katerina sat in the Black Veil Brides’ dressing room as she went through the email on her phone. There was nothing really important thankfully so she tossed it down on the table. She sighed. It had been four days since the kiss and she and Andy had yet to discuss it. After they kissed, he had gotten off her and then helped her up. They had both walked to his bunk and went to sleep. The next morning they both acted as if nothing had happened. Yet it was on her mind all the time.

Tonight the guys had a show and they were off talking to their road manager. That left her alone in their dressing room. From now on she wouldn’t be in the crowd but on the side of the stage watching with Jon. Katerina got up and stretched when the door opened and Andy walked in. He had a smirk on his face. “Hey Kitty Kat. I want you to come with me.”

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him. “Why?”

“No questions come on.” Andy reached out and took her hand.

“You look like you’re up to no good.” Katerina took his hand and followed him out the door.

“Of course I’m up to no good. Would I be me if it were anything else?” Andy laughed. They walked in the back hallway of the venue until they came to a room with double doors.

“I’m not going in there. For all I know you’re going to kill me and cut me up into a million pieces.” She said with a deadpan expression.

Andy rolled his eyes. “That plot has been overdone too many times. Fuck if I were going to kill you, I’d come up with something more original.” He opened the door and pushed her inside.

Inside of the room was actually larger than she originally though. Inside was a camera crew and a reporter with a microphone. She froze when she saw who it was. The reporter was the infamous Bryan Stars. His interviews with Andy were well known for their comedy and craziness. Katerina burst out laughing. “What the hell….”

Closing the door behind him, Andy grinned. “You’re going to be in my interview with Bryan today. I thought the world should be introduced to my best friend.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked over to where Bryan was.

Hearing the words best friend were like having a bucket of ice water being poured on her. Katerina kept the smile on her face as she walked with Andy. The memories of the kiss still lingered in her mind but apparently it didn’t mean anything to Andy. “Are you sure about this? I know how these interviews can go. You two are insane!” She laughed softly.

“Are you crazy? I’d love to have the famous model, Kat, in my interview with Andy.” Bryan smiled wide at her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you by the way.” He held out his hand for her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well Bryan.” Katerina smiled as she shook his hand. She looked around. “I—um—I don’t mind being in the interview as long as Andy doesn’t mind. This is for his band and I don’t want to intrude.”

“Fuck no, Kitty Kat. You’ve seen the idiots I’ve had with me in these things.” Andy pulled her close to him. “Come on, we’ll have fun.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Well alright then.” Bryan grinned. “Kat you get on my left and Andy on my right. Then we’ll get started.”

Katerina did as she was told. She was a big fan of the Bryan Stars interviews with Andy and her favorites were the uncut versions. When she saw Andy eating the paper for the first time she burst out laughing. She smiled as she waited while Bryan started the interview and introduced Andy. She gave a small wave as he introduced her. “Hey Bryan. Pleasure to be here.”

“Now you’re Andy’s best friend from childhood. How did you get that gig, or is this still part of a time out you’re serving?” Bryan teased.

Katerina laughed as Andy stuck his tongue out at her. “No no it’s not a punishment. Andy is my best friend and has been for a long time.”

“Are you just here for the night or are you keeping an eye on him for the tour?” Bryan asked.

“I’m traveling with him. I mean someone has to keep an eye on him. It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it.” Katerina shrugged.

“Just keep him away from the paper.” Bryan snickered. With that Andy grabbed some of Bryan’s papers and Bryan groaned. “Ok ok I have questions for you Andy.”

Katerina watched as Bryan went through a list of questions he asked Andy. Mostly it was about the tour and the cities they were going to. Then he asked about the new album they were writing for. She knew they would be going into the studio for the band’s fourth album soon after they got off the road. Ashley had told her that. After the tour she knew she’d have to find a place to live. It wasn’t something she looked forward to. Her future was so uncertain. All she knew was that she wanted Andy in it in some form. She must have spaced out because the next thing she knew Bryan was calling her name.

“Ok Kat now I have something for you.” Bryan smirked. “I had Andy do this awhile back but I’d like a female perspective on this now.”

“Dude what the fuck are you doing?” Andy’s eyes narrowed as he looked over at the interviewer. He had no idea what Bryan was doing. When he said he’d love to have Katerina in the interview with Andy, he thought Bryan was going to just ask her questions about their friendship.

Bryan laughed. “You’ll see.” He turned to Katerina. “See it’s funny because Andy doesn’t even know. Now I’m going to hand you something and I want you to look at this and read.” He handed her a piece of paper from the bottom of the pile.

Taking the paper from Bryan, Katerina’s eyes scanned it before she burst out laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Yep. Deadly serious. I want you to read it.” Bryan laughed. “In fact read it to Andy. Read it as if you’re the only people in the room. Like a bedtime story.”

“What the fuck are you up to Stars?” Andy suddenly had the urge for a cigarette. He didn’t trust Bryan right now. In fact he bet Ashley or CC set this up. He ran his fingers through his hair.

Katerina cleared her throat. “Ok…here goes.” She licked her lips. She looked at the paper and began to read. "Before I know it, he's got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he's pinning me to the wall using his lips . . . His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine . . . My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance . . . His erection is against my belly."

Andy thought he was either going to kill Bryan…or thank him. 50 Fucking Shades of Grey. That fucking book! He remembered all too well when Bryan made him and CC read excerpts from it and he was shocked that women were actually reading this stuff. The part that Katerina read had his mind going to the kiss they shared the other night. He remembered pinning her to the couch as he took her lips in a kiss. He had actually kissed his best friend. The truth was he had wanted to do that for so long. Long before they had been reunited at the fashion show. He had wanted to do that back in Cincinnati. She was just as beautiful then as she was now.

By now Bryan was laughing. “Oh my god! That’s great!”

“You’re such an asshole!” Andy shook his head. Yet he looked over at Katerina and his eyes were twinkling. He licked his lips and his lips held a smirk.

“Read the next part!” Bryan encouraged her.

Flipping the page over, Katerina’s eyes scanned over the page before she snorted. "Turning to face him, I'm shocked to find he has his erection firmly in his grasp. My mouth drops open. 'I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body.”

“Well I can sympathize. That is one of my favorite and cherished parts of my body.” Andy said with a straight face as he looked at the camera.

“You heard it here folks.” Bryan laughed. “What do you think Kat? Are women reading this book? Are you reading it?”

Giving the paper back to him, Katerina shook her head laughing. “I know women who do read it. As for me, I’d rather get laid then read about it.” She found herself looking straight at Andy as she smirked.

Andy swallowed hard as he saw the look in her eyes. Fuck me….

Notes