*Warning- Contains Trigger(s)*
-Recap-
"Thanks." I said, moving to sit on the couch."No problem. Just remember, Hakuna Matata..." I finished off the phrase for him. "What a wonderful phrase."
___________________________________________________________________

I woke to hushed voices. I quietly sat up and rubbed my eyes.'I guess I must've fallen asleep out here.' I looked up and Chris and Andy had their backs turned to me."Andy, you have to understand that this is my little sister. I don't want her to end up hurt. I know you would never hurt her intentionally but-" Chris was cut off by Andy's angry whispers."You think I don't know that I have a bad track record with girls? Geez! You act like I plan on 'corrupting' her or something." I accidentally let out a cough and the two men spun around quickly. They both abrubtly stopped talking. Andy angrily marched out andslammed the door to the bus. "Chris! I get that you are my brother but I'm not 4! I can handle my own situations!" I yelled. I heard grumbling coming from the bunks as I stomped down the hall to the bedroom. I slipped my vlothes on from the previous night and saw that Arizona had taken my car home.'Thanks Ari, thanks a bunch.' I thought sarcastically.I slipped on my heels and marched back to the front of the bus and out of the door. God, did I need a drink! "Where are you going?!" Chris yelled from the stairs. I turned so that I was walking backwards with my hands thrown up in the air and a sarcastic smirk resting on my lips. "Anywhere except here!" I yelled to him."Really? Gonna go live with mom again? Not like you have anywhere else to go!" I paused mid-stride as those words swirled in my brain. I turned around and held both of my arms up once more."My middle fingers salute you! Have a nice life!" Who does he think he is to come into my life and try and dictate who I can and can't be with?! I had enough of that with Seth. I wasn't going to put myself through that again. I gave an incredulous laugh when I heard the thud of heavy boots on the pavement behind me. "Kass, wait. What I said was uncalled for." I stopped after hearing what Chris had to say. "You're right it was uncalled for! You can't just come into my life and expect me to be okay with you dictating my love life!" I argued. He hung his head in shame. "You know what? I don't need this right now." I better walk away before anyone sees me crying. "Just know that you are welcome to come on tour with us...You and Arizona both." I continued to walk away. Chris's footsteps stopped. Ha, just like everyone else. You stop chasing after me when I challenge you. I walked the 5 miles back to my mothers house, nearly ready to collapse. I slowly padded up the stairs to my old room. I stepped into the bathroom and slid my hand underneath one of the drawer bottoms until the cool metal shocked my senses. I pulled the blade from beneath the drawer and studied it in the light. I poured some peroxide on it before I let it tear into my perfectly healed skin of my stomach. I felt so childish, releasing my stress this way. I felt so hopeless, so unwanted. I ruined my 24 hour long relationship with my brother, a chance at a new life, a chance at happiness. "Pathetic fool. You deserve to die, to rot in the pits of Hell." He was back. Why now? Why did he choose to come back now?
"Idiot! Why are you still here?! Come on, slice deeper, feel the life drain from your body. Don't you remeber how good it felt?" I couldn't listen to him. He was evil.
"Don't you remeber the high it gave you? The rush of adrenalin? The surge of emotion?" Snap out of it Kassadie, you can't let him control you again.
Against my own will, my hand moved, making the thin line of blood stretch all the way across my abdomen. It didn't burn anymore. I didn't feel any pain.I sliced, over and over again. Craving the sensation, needing to feel the steady trickle of my life force as it slowly evacuated itself form my body. He was right. I missed that high. I missed the burn, the surge, the feeling of the blade sliding through my skin. I missed it all. Its strange, him coming back, me going for my blade. It was purposful. Someone wanted to push me over the edge. It felt dangerous, and honestly, I loved the feeling of doing something dangerous. Something potentially fatal. It gave me reason to laugh at something so trivial, so pointless as my life. It gave me reason to look in the mirror, and see the mess that I had become behind this pink haired, blue eyed demeanor. Underneath, I was nothing but a shattered mirror that was just waiting for someone to come and have the patience to sit and reassemble me.Ha, who would do such a thing for a person like me? A pathetic little creature such as myself. I want to just disappear, float away to some far off land, just melt away into the wind. No one would notice. "Not one single lfe would be affected." His calm voice was coaxing me, pushing me closer to the edge. I was getting another taste at the feeling of danger, and sadly enough, I was enjoying it. It made me feel alive, made me feel real. I knew i was at my breaking point and no matter how hard I fought it, he was going to win. He always did.
"One more little slice Kassadie. Just a nick. Thats all it will take." I obeyed, and I took the last slice. I heard heavy footsteps and I used the what little energy I could muster to laugh. It was a sarcastic little laugh.
"What a weak little creature you are. Such a fragile little being." His voice was distorted.With my last ounce of consiousness, I gave a weak chuckle and said my final words before falling into the darkness. "So this is how Alice felt, falling down the rabbit hole."

Notes

Yes, this was quite the disturbing little chapter. Have fun with this one...Let me know who you think "He" is!
Rate and subscribe!