Novocaine Hearts

Lexa's POV

I couldn't believe she was going to blackmail me!
That fucking bitch!
But, to be fair, I was kinda doing the same thing... I just thought Ashley should know, but apparently, she is denying everything and they believe her!

Later in the day, when the festival was winding down, I put in an excuse to go see Juliet. Instead I went to see Riley.
I puffed on a cigarette as I walked up to their bus, when I heard another person smoking.
I glanced towards the back end of the bus and saw smoke rising and fading. I smirked, knowing it would be Riley. I quietly treaded so she wouldn't hear my approach.
I leaned against the corner and she was facing away from me.
"Hey!" I shot.
"What the fuck!" She gasped as she staggered back, crashing her body into the bus. "The fuck are you trying to do?! Why can't you learn to leave me alone!" She continued.
"Thought I'd come see you after our chat yesterday. You were being a huge bitch" I said pulling out another cigarette and lighting it.
Riley took a puff of her own.
"Who do you think you are? Are you part of some mafia mob? Cause I don't have time for your bullshit. Look, if you keep quiet, I'll keep quiet. It's that simple" she shrugged.
"Honestly, I just thought you needed help. That's why I told them."
"I don't think you understand that I have a very delicate situation. I'm trying to do my best at controlling it, but you are making it very difficult. So keep your mouth shut" she ordered.
Riley huffed a sigh and sunk to the ground. She looked distant.
"I'm guessing this has happened before?" I questioned and sat next to her.
"You don't know what happened" she breathed as she placed another cigarette between her lips. "I hate being like this."
"What meds are you taking?" I tried to ask with care.
"Anti-anxiety."
"Why's that a big deal? Heaps of artists do."
"That's not the problem. I've had a history with them and I abused them. You should know about this stuff!" Obvious frustration coming through in her tone.
"Yeah but, it's not the same. It has different effect" as I said it I could feel her glare on me.
"It makes no difference! You become dependent on the medication and you fuck up anyways. To make it worse, I'm smoking again, all while I'm hiding this from Ashley" she said, sounding defeated.
"Why can't you tell him? He's worried about you."
"He'd be so disappointed if he found out" she said shaking her head.
"I think you should tell him. I mean, the tour is almost over and who knows, maybe you won't need to when it is... But I think he should know."
"I'll see. It's getting annoying for the fact that I have to hide to have a cigarette. I honestly just wanna get up onstage and light one, right there. Freak them all out with the new song I have ready to go. It's..." she struggled for the words. "It's more me. That... damaged rock star I suppose... I don't know how to really explain it."
"Sing it."
"What? No! My voice is all croaky and cracked."
"It will sound better trust me. Sing it. Sounds like something I would like."
So she did.

*Has everybody lost their mind?
Or is everybody way too wasted?
Am I the only one tonight?
Who thinks the whole damn world's gone crazy,

Drinking lately, Thinking maybe

How we all just broken hearts?
Wasting time here in this bar,
Trying to hide from who we are,
Or is it just me?
Are we all just drunken fools?
Goin' broke, Breakin' the rules,
I think we need another drink,
Or is it just me?
Or is it just me?..

Took the wheel and lost control,
Need somebody else to do the driving,
Are we tryin' to numb our souls?
Or lying and say we're just unwinding?

I quit driving, I can't fight it..
(chorus)

Am I the only one?
Can't be the only one,
Am I the only one?
Or is it just me?

Has everybody lost their minds?
Or is everybody way too wasted?
(chorus)**

"Wow... That is actual amazing!" I smiled, shaking her shoulder.
I saw a little smile playing on her face.
"It's alright..."
"Play it tomorrow. Surprise everyone! Even Ashley and BVB! They won't expect it."
"I know... that's why it scares me."
"What?"
"Just... think about what I've already released. It's nothing like this. This is completely raw emotion. I wrote this at the beginning of the tour. I was getting so stressed out I started drinking more often without even noticing. Then when the tour started I realised I couldn't be drinking all time, so I got my meds back."
"But it's not like you've gone crazy on them. Just tell Ashley everything. They're all worried."
"Yeah, then they'll realise it was just me being irrational" she sighed and butted out her smoke. "Okay, better get back on the bus, time to go."
"Yeah, I'm sure my band is waiting for me. See you tomorrow" I said, getting up from the ground.
"Yeah, see you."

Notes

The original song it called 'Is It Just Me' by HInder. It just suits Riley really well and I might use some of their other stuff too.
Happy reading. Please leave comments and vote guys <3
-Tina xx