My Fallen Angel

I gagged, Andy holding my hair behind my head as I stayed bent over the toilet. He kept murmuring comforting words, but it was just irritating me, not making it better.
I wasn't sure why I was so sick, what had come over me --- but I hadn't stopped puking since before we left the party, it was awful.
And the veins in my arms were pulsing painfully, it was all I could do to make sure Andy didn't see them.
Where was Ashlandil?
This was the exact time I needed his help.
"It's gonna be okay, Kenna," Andy told me again, brushing at my lips with a cold cloth. "It's okay."
I just turned my face away, breathing hard.
CC appeared in the doorway. "Did the pepto not help?"
"No, it made it worse," Andy sighed, rubbing my back; I'd at least been able to change into some sweats and not get my dress dirty kneeling in the bathroom of the bus; we didn't get a hotel until tomorrow, unfortunately.
"Damn. I tried calling Ash again, but he's not answering." CC mumbled, shrugging his shoulders. "He ran off with that reporter chick."
I stiffened.
Fucking Geneva, if that was really her.
Why of all times did he have to find her?
Why did I care?
I shuddered, and felt another wave of nausea sweep over me. I barely had time to lean over the toilet as I spilled my guts into it, black blood mixed with champagne.
"Champagne," I mumbled, remembering that it had tasted a little funny compared to the others I'd tasted.
"What about it, sweetheart?"
"Did she get a bad glass or something?" CC leaned against the doorway, and I really wished he would leave.
This was kind of embarrassing.
"Must have," Andy sighed, massaging his temples; I knew this wasn't how he'd wanted to spend his night, and I felt really bad for making him leave the party that was in his honor because I was sick.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled after a moment, and he shook his head.
"It's not your fault you're sick, Kenna," He told me, kneeling beside me. "You must have gotten food poisoning or something."
Or something.
"I'll try Ashley again, maybe he can help."
"How can Ashley help?" Andy muttered in irritation. "He'll just be doing the same thing I am!"
"Yeah, but he's her boyfriend, maybe ---."
"Ex boyfriend," he snapped, and I felt him tense beside me. "And don't bother him. If he wants to go off and get a random fuck, let him!"
I winced.
"Andy!" CC glared at him, his eyes flicking to me before back.
Andy pressed his lips tightly together, then started to rub my back again, ignoring his drummer completely.
I sighed, and flicked the toilet lever, feeling smothered.
"I need some air," I mumbled, struggling to my feet. Andy helped me up, and then outside into the cold air.
I felt it cool my over heated skin in relief, and I leaned back against the bus, closing my eyes.
Why was I so sick?
Ugh.
"I wish I could help," Andy gazed at me worriedly. "If it's food poisoning or whatever it'll be out of your system in a few days."
"A few days?" I croaked in horror, opening my eyes to look at him. "No!"
He just looked at me apologetically.
I wanted Ashlandil.
I wasn't sure why, but he could make it better, or at least he knew how to comfort me, he'd done it so many times in the past.
I hated myself for wanting him, though. I finally had Andy, the one i'd been wanting for centuries, and here I was, wishing for the demon instead of the angel.
Or at least the angels human form.
"I'm gonna be sick again," I muttered, and sprinted back onto the bus, throwing myself into the bathroom and shutting the door firmly behind me this time.
I leaned over the toilet, my stomach heaving, but there was nothing left to come out of It.
I whimpered, and leaned my head against the tiled wall, feeling the coolness.
Ugh.
That First Minister was going to suffer for this. I had been sort of dizzy before, my black veins acting up, but when I'd drank that champagne, everything had escalated.
I clenched my hands.
Had he tried to drug me?
I pressed my lips together, feeling bile rise to my throat.
That disgusting mortal!
I would rip his weak head right off his shoulders for this!
I groaned as I leaned over the toilet again, blood dribbling over my lips.
The others couldn't see this, couldn't see my blood bubbling as it touched the water.
I couldn't let them in here, despite Andy kept knocking on the door asking if I was okay, if I needed anything ---- I needed Ashlandil!
Fuck!
I gagged again.
I doubt I had ever been so sick before in my life, and I could feel myself weakening the more blood I lost, and I huffed, dabbing at my lips quickly, my blood eating through the towel like acid.
Ungh.
"Kenali?"
I raised my head automatically as I heard his voice.
"Ashlan," I whimpered, and seconds later he opened the bathroom door, still dressed in his suit and looking worried.
"Kenali, what's wrong?" He asked, going to his knees beside me. He glanced down, seeing I was vomiting blood, and he hesitated, tugging on my sleeves to look at my arm.
"I think... he tried to drug me," I managed before puking up more blood, he quickly grabbing my hair for me.
"Who did?"
"That... that...." I couldn't finish.
Ashlandil winced, and he nudged the bathroom door shut so we could be alone.
"How long have you been like this?"
"Since the party," I rasped after a moment, my stomach cramping. "They think I have... food poisoning."
"In a sense, if you were talking about the First Minister," Ashlandil sighed. "He's known for that, Kenna, I thought you would've had more sense then to consume anything he gave you."
"It was just a glass of champagne!"
"It doesn’t matter." He seemed irritated with me, and I wasn't sure why. I hesitated, gazing up at him, before I felt another swell of sickness sweep over me, and I raised my hand to my nose worriedly as I felt it start to drip as well.
"Fuck, Kenali!" Ashlandil shoved a towel under my face. "What the hell?"
"It's not my fault," I mumbled, holding it against my nose, literally able to hear the material disintegrate. He sighed, as if this was painstaking for him.
I glared at him. "You don't have to be here if you don't want too. You can go back to your precious Geneva if you want."
Ashlandil stiffened as if I'd punched him.
His red eyes swept to my face, narrowing.
"How did you know?"
"You called her Geneva," I mumbled, looking away. "And you were absolutely enraptured by her."
He didn't say anything, just looked at me, as if judging my reaction. Did he think I would harm her?
Really?
I would never hurt her.
I shuddered, squeezing my knees up to my chest and resting my face against them, panting for breath.
This was ridiculous.
This shouldnt be happening to me.
"Here," I suddenly smelled blood, and I raised my head, seeing Ashlandil bite deeply into his wrist.
"That's not ---." He shoved the wound into my mouth before I could protest, and his hot blood rolled across my tongue, tasting divine. I closed my eyes with a moan, and my hands clamped around his wrist, holding it to my lips.
He grunted, his hand spasming in pain as I drank greedily from him.
"That's enough," he suddenly jerked away from me, and my eyes flashed open.
I licked my lips hastily, not wanting to waste any.
Why was angel blood so addicting, yet human blood tasted like dirt?
I felt some of the nausea start to go away instantly, and I relaxed, leaning my face against the wall again, keeping my distance from him despite how much I had wanted him here.
"Was she all you remembered?" I asked after a moment, genuinely wanting to know.
Ashlandil glanced at me, as if seeing whether or not I was being cruel, and then shrugged. "She's the same, just adapted to modern times, I suppose."
"What's she like?"
He hesitated, but he knew I wasn’t a threat to her, I would never do that to him. I knew how much pain he still harbored over her first death.
"Sweet," he said after a moment, looking down at his hands. "She means well. She's always been like that. Even when... even when before she told me she would marry Ansel, she tried to be so kind about It...."
He clenched his hands in his lap, shaking his head. "And I killed her for It."
"You were new, you were weak," I spoke after a moment, hesitantly reaching over to touch his arm. "Your body was craving a sin so badly it didn't matter at that point."
"If that's the excuse you want to use," He sighed, and I frowned, lifting my head from the wall to look at him.
"Ashlandil, you're not a monster," I murmured, sensing how much he hated himself for his actions. "You're not, really. Please don’t feel that way."
He glanced at me, then pulled away from my touch, shaking his head. "It's in the past, it doesn't matter."
"Are you gonna see her again?" I asked, feeling my nausea completely disappear. Now I just felt tired, and I rubbed my eyes, smearing makeup everywhere.
"Tomorrow, at the concert." Ashlandil nodded. "I invited her. Would you... wanna meet her?"
"Of course," I blinked at him. "If you want me too."
He shrugged, and I sighed.
"Does she think we're together?"
"No, I... told her the truth." He looked at everything but me. "Well, I told her we weren't together; she probably couldn’t handle the truth, huh?"
I gave a weak chuckle. "Probably not, no."
His lips twitched slightly, and he looked at me, his soft red eyes glancing me over. "Feeling better?"
"A little, thanks," I nodded, feeling overly warm again; the bathroom got so stuffy.
"Come on, then, let's get you to bed," he stood, and I hesitated before pushing myself onto my knees.
"Kenali?"
"Just give me a minute," I murmured, feeling my stomach tighten painfully again.
"Fuck," I gasped, and then ducked my head over the toilet as blood started to pour from my mouth again, most of it his this time.
"Jesus!" Ashlandil knelt with me immediately, pulling my hair back and petting my back. "Kenali, are you not feeding?"
"I am feeding," I rasped, lifting my head, blood dripping from my lips. "On Andy."
"Babe, you can't be with just him, i've told you that from the start," Ashlandil sighed, knotting my hair into a bun on the back of my head.
"It doesn't work like that."
"You haven't been feeding either," I muttered crossly at him. "I know you haven't. You look as sick as I was in the beginning, so don't berate me."
He frowned. "I have been feeding."
"Not the proper way," I wiped at my mouth with my hand. "You can't make me believe that. I can look at you and tell, you don’t smell like anyone, and you haven't since we... since we broke up, I guess."
I frowned at the toilet.
Why wasn’t he feeding ---.
I groaned, losing the contents of whatever was left in my stomach again, and Ashlandil sighed.
"Feed, Kenali. Go with Cronus again if you have too, it's not like he can give you the black veins twice."
I wanted to kick him. "Are you trying to rub that in or something? You tell me not to be monogomous but you get pissy when I sleep with someone who isn't you."
He brows furrowed. "I do not."
"You do too! That little stint with Andy proved that much," I mumbled, laying my head against my arm. "You had to kiss me to rub it in his face."
"I told you, I'm never going to do that again. That kiss after that was it, okay? We're done."
"Fine," I muttered, seeing his jaw clenching. "We're done."
"Fine," he snapped, and then huffed, as if he was getting irritated with himself.
"I'm sorry," I sighed after a moment, raising my head. "I'm being ill with you, you don't need it right now."
"It's fine, you're sick. Iriel said the black veins would start to act up any time you got weak, so you need to feed on someone else; I told you Andy wouldn’t be sufficient enough to survive off of. Find a mortal if you must." He shrugged at me. "It doesn't matter; just don’t let one of them get you pregnant, for God's sake."
I winced at His name.
"Guys?"
For fucks sake, Andy.
I glanced at the door in irritation, and Ashlan chuckled at me.
"Loverboy a little attached, is he?" He murmured, and I glared at him.
"Shut up. What?"
"You feeling any better?"
"A little," I sighed, flicking the toilet latch as Andy started to open the door, looking concerned.
"Do you need anything? Is she really okay? Is there anything I can do?" He looked at me helplessly, and I relaxed, seeing the concern on his face. I really shouldn’t be so annoyed, he cared, at least, he wanted to do something for me.
"She'll be fine in a little bit," Ashlan told him, patting my back. "She'll sleep this off and be good in a few hours, right?"
I just looked at him.
Surely I would, right?
I glanced up at Andy, seeing him leaning against the doorway, biting his lip.
I averted my gaze quickly, feeling a stirring of want, my sin trying to get me to feed.
"I'll be out in a few minutes, I think," I said after a moment, running
my hands through my hair. "Just... gimme a few minutes, okay?"
"Okay," Andy said hesitantly, and looked pointedly at Ashlandil.
"I'll be right out," he forced a smile at his lead singer, who didn't seem impressed, but dutifully closed the door behind him.
"Ashlan ----."
"Come on, sweetheart," he sighed, and pulled me into his arms. I stiffened, but he merely lifted me up, his warm arms supporting my legs and back. "I'll get you upstairs and you can get some sleep, and tomorrow, eat something."
"But I don’t want too," I mumbled, pressing my face against his neck, and I felt him shiver slightly as he opened the bathroom door, heading for the stairs.
"Yo, I'm putting sickling here to bed!" He called down the hall to Andy, who nodded.
"I'll be up in a minute then!"
Ashlandil hurried up the stairs, going to the very back where my bunk waited behind closed doors, and he laid me down gently. He pulled the waste basket over to the bed, and I sighed, pressing my face into the pillow.
"You gonna be okay?" He asked me, tucking my hair behind my ear as he squatted down to my level, and I nodded, looking at him.
"Yeah, I think so. Next time I'm just going to rip his throat open," I mumbled, closing my eyes. "This sucks so bad."
He chuckled at me. "Yeah, he's a dick. Just be more wary of him, okay?"
"Okay," I murmured, feeling his thumb caress my cheek, and I turned my face into his touch thoughtlessly, nuzzling; it felt so nice.
He stilled a moment, then sighed. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against my forehead before rising to his feet.
"I'll tell Andy you want him."
"Mhmph." I could feel myself sinking down into a sleep, and I kicked the covers off my legs, too hot.
I thought I heard him chuckle before he left.

Notes