Ashlandil

I pulled away in annoyance, my stomach dropping to the floor.
It was my kid after all, and Kacy knew it.
This sucked.
I gazed at her, debating on killing her right there and then and taking care of the problem.
Kenali wouldn't approve, though.
I tightened my grip on Kacys hand so she wouldn't pull away, my eyes flicking to hers.
They glazed immediately.
"You don't know who the father is, amd you don't remember ever having any interaction with me whatsoever. If you decide to keep the baby, tell it it's father died before it was born and you better fucking give it the best life you possibly can, always putting it first. It'll have a trust fund. Now, get out of here."
I let her go, and she stood on wobbly legs, looking muddled as she stumbled out of the shop
That took care of that.


Kenali

"Ashlan will be back tomorrow," I sighed, stirring the fruity drink with the little straw that came with it. "I can only pray he has good news."
Cronus snorted, on his eighth beer already as he sat beside me at the bar, both of us drowning our woes in the mind-numbing poison. I liked that it lessened my powers over the humans.
"He looks healthy," Cronus said after a moment, speaking of his son. "Not knowing me is good for him."
"I don't want him to have a child." I grumbled. "He'll be distracted."
"I felt such guilt when I learned his mother was pregnant. I never wanted to curse that child. But it seems the world was kind to him."
"What if he wants to see it? It'll break his heart if he gets attached and dies!"
"She was a good woman, she put that child first," he sniffed. "It's aged her so much. I messed up her life."
We looked at each other unhappily, then took a long swig of our drinks.
"I'm sorry it hurts so bad, Cronus," I sniffed.
"I'm sorry too," he said, and I squeezed his hand.
"Kenna?"
I blinked the tears from my eyes and looked over, seeing Jake staring at me, several beers under his arm.
"Hi, Jake!" I flashed him a smile.
"What are you doing here? Where's Ashley?" he asked, glancing at Cronus rough appearance.
Cronus leaned back on his stool, gazing calmly back at Jake, his multiple lip piercings glinting.
"He had to fly out for the night, he'll be back tomorrow afternoon," I informed him, signaling for another fruity drink like I'd seen Ashley do. The bar man popped over immediately, pouring me another drink.
"On the house," he told me with a wink, and I sent him a thankful smile, feeling that wonderful tingle start to spread over my skin.
"Don't drink too much, okay?" he warned me. "You don't handle your alcohol well."
"I'll be fine," I assured him, patting Cronus arm. "I have Cronus with me."
"Ahuh," Jake didn't think Cronus was a safe companion; that was sweet of him, caring about my well being like that.
He really was the bands father figure.
So did that make Jinxx the mother?
Hmm.
I was getting really drunk.
I shook my head, trying to clear it.
"Eho are you with?" I asked curiously, glancing around.
"All the guys. We wanted to drag Andy out of the apartment," Jake shrugged. "He's been moping too long. Yoj guys can join us if you want."
I glanced at Cronus, but he shook his head a little.
"No thanks," I sent Jake an apologetic smile. "Me and Cronus need to catch up. But tell them I said hi!"
"Okay, will do." Jake took a careful step back. "But we're right over there if you need us."
I nodded, watching him go before swiveling to look at my fellow angel.
"Why don't we get out of here? You can crash as Ashleys for tonight if you want."
"Thanks." he downed what was left of his beer. "As long as he doesn't come in and try to kill me."
"Don't be ridiculous," I snorted, slipping off the stool and leaning dangerously.
"Whoops!" I giggled, Cronus hastily grabbing my arm. "Too much fruit! Have you ever tried one of those? So good!"
"Let's get back before you fall over. What's the address?"
I rattled Ashleys address off, and darted ahead of Cronus and outside into the cool night air. I glanced up at the night sky, seeing all the pretty stars.
"I wish it stayed night like this," I sighed.
"It does in some places. You'd like Alaska. It's just cold."
"Ugh! I hate the cold," I wrinkled my nose. "The warmth is what I crave."
"I'm not surprised, Hellfire."
I stuck my tongue out at him, and he chuckled for the first time ever. Yknow, he really wasn't that bad once you got to know him, and even for an angel he was good looking.
I frowned at myself.
I must be needing to feed again, which wasn't a good combination with my drunkenness.
That was how I'd been when I'd slept with Andy.
Well I'm not gonna sleep with Cronus, I told myself as I trotted along beside him down the sidewalk, feeling flushed. He's not even remotely interested.
Plus it would make Ashlan REALLY mad.
Right?
But he was sleeping with other people; I wasn't stupid, I knew he would feed before he came back so his health would be top notch.
He had too.
He became ill and grouchy when he was monogamous for too long.
I sighed, leaning against the light pole as we waited for the light to change.
I missed him so much.
I missed him now like I had Andiel before.
And I was so confused on my feelings toward him, I didn't know how to feel.
Or even act.
I couldn't even look at him.
"What's wrong?" Cronus frowned at me as I sighed, trying to let my frustration go.
"I'm just confused."
"Over?" he guided me across the street, Ashlandils apartment building rising up in front of us.
"I shouldn't believe anything Seraphine told me, but some of it struck a nerve," I admitted as we walked into the building and headed for the magic box that teleported you. "And I just can't get over it."
"About Andiel tricking her into Falling?"
I looked up at him, surprised.
"Yeah, I know about it. I fell only five centuries after her," he shrugged, us stepping out of the magic box and walking down the hallway to the only door on the left; his apartment took up one side.
I frowned, taking my key and entering the apartment, flicking the lights on.
"Is it true, what he did?" I asked after a moment, deciding I wanted to know.
I dropped my key on the counter, turning to look at him as he shrugged out of his black jacket, his dark red t shirt ripped and sleeveless, showing off his muscular arms.
Dammit, brain.
"Do you really wanna know?" he asked, sitting himself down on the couch and propping his elbows on his knees.
"Not really, but tell me anyway," I sighed, kicking off my boots and sitting down beside him Indian style, facing him.
He raised a brow at me, and then shuffled slightly to gaze at me.
"You have such child-like qualities, Kenali, it's refreshing," he chuckled, clasping his hands in front of him. "I don't see how your heart has made it here so long untainted."
"Ashlan," I said instantly, gazing at him. "He's taken care of me."
"He's a good angel, always has been. Geneva broke his heart in the beginning and made him bitter, but he always meant well."
"You knew about that?" I was surprised.
Cronus nodded. "Yes. I hadn't Fallen at that time but I watched. She was his first love, a carrot headed thing with many freckles and wild hair," he chuckled. "But she was vying for the attention of another mortal, and only loved him when he enamored her. It broke his heart."
I already knew how his story with her ended.
My poor Ashlan.
But that wasn't the story I wished to hear.
"So tell me of Seraphine and Andiel," I ordered impatiently. "Did he really trick her, Cronus? How could he do such a cruel thing?"
"Each one has a different side to their story," he said after a moment, looking at his hands. "And I only know of what Seraphine told me. Andiel may have a different version of events."
"But he would never tell it if it is true. How could the Father allow such treatment of one of us to another?" I frowned unhappily. "For so many of us to Fall needlessly... It makes me sad."
"He has gifted all of us with free will, Kenali. It's both a gift and a curse. We choose what we wish to do, and he doesn't stop us because he does love us unconditionally... He wants us to be happy, and in his own way, he lets us. We made the decision to Fall. We make the decision to love and lie and mistreat others. Angels and demons are no better then the mortals, we just know more then they do. Another curse in itself."
"When did you become so wise?" I sniffed, not even sure why I was tearing up. Here I had thought Cronus was a being of little words...
He sent me an attractive half smile, piercings glinting. "If I was wise I wouldn't be here, Kenali. It's taken me centuries to figure this out."
I sighed.
"I've been here months and I've wished every day I could go home."
"This is home," Cronus gazed at me sadly. "This is all we have left, all of us in between."
"In between?" I asked; what did he mean?
"We have Fallen from Heaven, but we have not yet gone to Hell. We're not demons until we go full dark, yet can we really call ourselves angels anymore?" he shook his dark head. "We're just stuck in between."
He was like a philosophy book.
I frowned more as I looked at him, watching how the lights reflected in his thick, glossy hair.
I averted my gaze hastily to my legs.
Perhaps sitting so close was a mistake.
I shifted, scooting a few inches away, and Cronus raised a brow at me.
I felt my cheeks redden.
"Am I suddenly less appealing?" he asked.
I shook my head quickly, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
"No! It's not that --- it's just," I hesitated, unsure how to explain.
"You're hungry?" he snorted. "I know what your sin is, Kenali, Raza had it figured out quickly."
I blushed harder, feeling embarrassed.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of," he told me, "At least yours is pleasurable. I just steal from others and it makes me feel well."
"I would trade you if I could," I told him, completely serious. "The repercussions of my sin aren't something I enjoy."
"Are the mortal men not as pleasing as Ashlandil?" he asked in amusement, and my face became hot again.
"I... I don't know," I mumbled, looking down again. "I've only been with him and Andy, and that was a drunken accident."
That I regretted deeply and couldn't even remember.
"Really?" Cronus looked shocked. "That's it?"
I nodded.
"That's... Astounding, really. Has Ashlandil not been with others?"
"Of course. He can't survive off one partner, he becomes ill."
Cronus shook his head, amused.
"If you need, you can feed off me, Kenali. It's the least I can do after what happened." he sighed. "I should have been there for Theda, but my son..."
"I don't blame you for not being there; even if you had been I doubt Theda would have listened she grieved so deeply."
Cronus just shrugged, looking away.
I hesitated, then lightly touched his arm. "It wasn't your fault, Cronus. If anything it was mine for coming in and disturbing his meditation while he waited for food. I got him started, I ---."
"You couldn't have known. And I could smell your blood all over that apartment when I returned, Kenali, I know he injured you badly. How did you survive? You couldn't have been in any condition to heal yourself."
I squirmed, slowly dropping my hand to my lap. "Ashlan fed me his blood, and I forcefully took some of Andiels. Razas blood, it..."
"Made you go crazy." he clenched his hands. "He went full dark then, didn't he?"
"It drove me to ths point I didn't recognize Andiel or Ashlan, so it had to be strong," I curled a strand of hair around my finger absently. "He murdered so many humans."
"Yeah, it was bad. I don't see how Ashlandil managed to kill him; I know he's older then most of us, but... He had to go dark to defeat Raza, and you can only do that so many times before you can't come back."
"I know, I worry so dreadfully for him."
Cronus glanced at me, and then his hand closed over mine, jerking it away from my hair.
"Please don't do that."
"Do what?" I looked at him, startled, seeing his strained expression.
"Twirl your hair around your finger. It... Just don't."
"I didn't realize I was, I'm sorry," I retracted myself from his grip.
He looked away, looking embarrassed. "Your sin is quite good."
I blinked. "What do you mean? I'm not doing anything."
"You do things without realizing it, like twirling your hair. Your trying to draw me in to sate your hunger without even realizing it. You... Know my weaknesses."
"Oh." I blushed. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," he shifted uncomfortably. "And I don't care if you want to feed. But if you don't, it's probably best if we end the conversation now. You smell amazing."
I ... Smelled?
"I do?" I sniffed my hair; it smelled like strawberries and bar smoke.
His eyes roved to my hair, and I dropped my hand quickly. "Sorry."
I needed to get to bed.
Alone.
I shuffled, and got to my feet. I stretched, feeling my muscles loosen, and started off, picking up my boots.
"I'll bring you some blankets and a pillow," I called over my shoulder, disappearing quickly into the bedroom. I shuffled to the closet, pulling out an extra blanket and pillow.
I paused a moment, glimpsing myself in the mirror.
Did my sin really cause me to know others weaknesses? Was that the only reason the others were so drawn to me?
That Ashlandil was?
It wasn't actually because of me?
I frowned, then shook the thoughts from my head before heading back into the living room, pausing as I caught sight of Cronus.
Oh hot cakes.
He was shirtless, wearing some gray pajama bottoms.
Ashlandil was muscular and well fit, but Cronus was the definition of buff.
Like his abs had more abs.
How was that even possible?
I think his body was just a sin.
I needed to stop drinking and then hanging out with attractive beings.
"Here," I mumbled, thrusting the pillow and blankets against his chest, staring intensely at my feet. "I hope the couch is okay."
"It's fine. I've slept on worse," he shrugged, tossing the pillow down and flicking the blanket out, my eyes drawn to his arms.
Well.
"Kenali," Cronus sounded amused.
"Mhm?"
"You want to feed or not?"
"I do." I flicked my eyes up to his. "Very much so."
He grinned slightly, chuckling again as he turned toward me.
I shouldn't do this.
Not to Ashlan.
But I couldn't help myself, I was suddenly so hungry.
I locked my fingers into Cronus curls and dragged his face down to mine, crushing my lips against his forcefully.
He moaned as I ran my fingers down his chest.
Don't do this, I thought to myself.
But I suddenly didn't care.

Notes