My Fallen Angel

I awoke slowly, my head absolutely thundering.
Why did my head hurt so badly?
I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to just go back to sleep, but I couldn't, I was too warm.
I went to shift, and flinched.
Ow, why did everything hurt like that?
I peeled my eyes open, seeing the hotel room.
Last night was almost completely a blur to me.
I hesitated, then slowly sat up, glancing down halfway at the tattooed arm curled around my chest.
Those were not Ashlandils tattoos.
I stiffened, and looked over, seeing Andy.
He was still asleep on his stomach, his face buried in the pillow.
We were both naked.
And I was sore.
And his back had serious scratch marks.
Oh god.
What had I DONE?
I felt panic swell through me, and I hastily slipped out of the bed, grabbing my clothes out of the floor and hazardly jerking them on. I grabbed my shoes in my hand, freezing when he shifted, his arm reaching out over the vacant side of the bed.
Oh god.
I opened his door, peeking down the hallway to make sure it was empty. I darted out and practically ran to my room.
I went to shove it open, but it was locked, and I couldn't remember where the card was.
Tears filled my eyes.
What was I gonna do?
"Ma'am?"
I looked over, my lips trembling, to see a woman in a apron and pushing a cart hesitate a few feet from me. "Honey, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I wept, rubbing hastily at my eyes. "But I lost my card and I can't get in."
"Well don't cry!" the woman said quickly, bustling to my door. "I'll let you in, okay? I have a card."
She swiped it quickly, and I heard the door unlock.
I shoved it open, and gave her a watery smile.
"Thank you."
"Of course," she looked at me in concern. "But are you okay? Did someone hurt you?"
"What? No," I sniffled, stepping into my room and throwing my shoes down. "But thank you, so much."
The woman nodded again, and the look of concern didn't leave her face as I closed the door.
I felt disgusting.
What had I done?
Had I SLEPT with him?
I hadn't wanted it to be like that!
I ran to the bathroom, throwing open the shower door and turning it on, quickly shedding the dress.
I glanced over, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and cringing.
The evidence was damning.
Hickeys roved across my throat and on my breasts, and my wrists were bruised as well.
I could almost see his finger prints on my hips.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and shuffled into the shower, the water burning my skin.
Oh god.
I pressed my hands over my face.
No wonder the woman had asked if someone had hurt me.
I sobbed, slipping down the wall.
I loved him so much, I hadn't wanted to sleep with him like that, not drunk and completely out of my senses; Ashlandil should have never left me alone with him!
But it wasn't his fault.
It was all mine.
And he was with Juliet! I had helped him cheat on her --- one of the worst sins.
Oh god!
I whimpered, curling my legs to my chest.
I'd made his sins so much worse.
"Kenna?"
Oh no!
I silenced my sobs, hearing Ashlans voice.
No!
I didn't want him to know!
Please leave, I prayed, clenching my hands tightly. Please don't come in here.
At least give the bruises time to fade!
I felt so ashamed.
I heard the bathroom door open, and I froze.
"Kenali?"
"Here," I said weakly, not wanting him to come any closer. "I'll be out in a minute!"
"Where have you been?" he demanded, and I squeezed my eyes shut. "I looked for you for over half the night!"
"I'm sorry," I whispered, staring into the water. "I --- was locked out of the room."
"Yeah... Are you okay?"
"Fine!" I stood quickly.
There was a moment of silence, and then the door started to open. I slammed my hand against it, cracking the glass with the force.
I blinked.
I had never done that before.
I pressed my hand against it, not wanting him to open the door, and I felt the glass slice through my palm.
My blood sizzled as it slipped down the door.
"Kenali! What the hell?"
"Just go away!" I hissed, clenching my hand. "Leave me alone!"
"What --- open the fucking door!" he thundered, smelling my blood. "Or I'll rip it off the fucking shower!"
"No!" I shrieked. "Get out!"
Ashlan growled, and I jerked my hand out of the way as he shoved the door open, the glass cracking completely.
I blinked at him through my wet hair, crossing my arms.
"What's your problem?" I snapped.
"What the fuck?" he hissed at me, glaring. He went to move my hair off my shoulder, and I jerked away from him, my shoulder ramming into the wall, cracking the tile.
he stared at me, his hand recoiling.
"Kenali?"
"I did something," I whispered, staring into the water again. "Something really bad."
"Baby... I doubt it's that bad."
"It's bad. But I didn't mean to."
"Whatever it is, it's okay," he told me softly, slowly reaching forward to turn off the hot water. "It's never as bad as you think."
"Please go away." I whimpered.
"Kenali." Ashlan stepped into the shower, the steam dampening his clothes and hair. "I'm not leaving. What happened?"
"Where were you?" I felt the Tears rise again. "Why did you leave me alone with him?"
"What?" he frowned at me, and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my damp form. "Baby, I had to take a call. I looked everywhere for you; I even came back to the hotel. I couldn't find you."
"Because I was with him," I wept.
"Who? Andy? Did he hurt you?" he suddenly demanded, whirling me around to face him.
"No! Of course not!" I sniffled, mopping at my eyes.
Ashlandil stiffened, and took my hand, gazing at the bruises.
"Kenali...?"
"I slept with him," I blurted. "I'm not sure how it happened --- but my power didn't work, and I was so happy he wanted to kiss me and not because he was enamored," I started to sob, "and, and it jus-just ---."
"Oh, shh, baby, it's okay," he pulled me into his arms. "It's okay, it's okay."
"It's not okay," I grasped tightly to his wet shirt. "I didn't want it to be like that!"
"Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay," he smoothed my hair desperately, repeating himself over and over as he calmed me. He brushed my hair over my shoulders, his eyes lighting on the hickeys.
His eyes twitched.
"Are you mad?" I asked after a moment, seeing him grit his teeth.
"No, of course not. Not at you. You did need to sleep with someone else," he sighed, "but I never thought he, of all people, would take advantage of you while you were drunk. Not with his angel conscience."
I whimpered, pressing my face against his chest.
"I'm so sorry."
"Kenali, you've nothing to apologize for," he murmured, kissing my cheek. "You needed that. You need to be strong so we can fight Seraphine, and now you're in top form. Might need to work a little on your strength," he glanced at the broken tiles.
"I'm awful," I whispered. "I've made him commit one of the worst sins."
"HE commited the sin willingly, love. You didn't make him do it." he stroked my face.
I brought my eyes up to his face, and he gave me a soft smile.
"Don't worry yourself," he tilted my face up. "You needed it. Did you wipe his memory?"
Oh no!
My eyes widened.
"I just ran away!" I gasped. "He was asleep, I ---."
"I'll take care of it," he sighed. "Take a shower, maybe one not so hot. Put on some clean clothes. I'll come back when I'm done, ok?"
I bobbed my head.
Ashlan sighed, and tilted my head up, giving my swollen lips a gentle kiss.
"Everything is gonna be all right, Kenali, I promise. I'll take care of him."

Notes