Everything hurt.
I shifted, and whimpered, opening my eyes against the bright sunlight.
Where was I?
I blinked, recognizing the bunk, and then pressed a hand against my head as it started to pound.
My throat hurt, and my skin felt itchy and burned slightly.
How did I make it on the bus?
The last thing I remembered was Ashley holding me, feeding me his blood, and then it was like everything went black.
Had I passed out?
My head turned as the curtain was pulled back, and Ashley sent me a relieved smile as he knelt.
"You're awake," he sighed, a large red scratch running down his face.
"What happened to you?" I whispered, reaching forward. I ran my finger down the scratch, and he grimaced.
"I'll tell you later."
He caught my hand. "How do you feel?"
"Awful," I croaked. "Why do I ache so badly?"
"You have to recuperate," he told me, lightly squeezing my hand. "Raza beat you up pretty bad. It'll take you some time before you're healed. What do you remember?"
"Um. You feeding me," I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "Andy holding me. Everything is kind of fuzzy."
I didn't miss the relief on his face.
"Why?" I stared at him. "What happened?"
"Nothing," he said quickly, shifting on his knees. The bus hit a bumped, and Ashley cursed as he hit his head on the bunk.
I chuckled weakly.
"We'll be in town in a few hours, then we can get you something to eat," he said, his thumb caressing my cheek. "See if we can't heal you up."
"Ok." I nodded.
I liked that plan.
I winced as I tried to move, and Ashley pressed me back down. "Don't try to move, okay? I'll get you something to drink."
He straightened and I watched him disappear with a sigh.



"Come on," Ashley grunted, lifting me up in his arms and carrying me towards the front of the bus.
"Ashlandil, no. I don't want to," I whispered, burying my face in his shirt. "It hurts my eyes!"
"You've been on the bus for three days, Kenali, you need some sunlight while we've stopped."
"No!" I squeezed my eyes shut against the brightness. "Take me back!"
I felt him step off the bus, and I cringed as light flooded my eyes. I pressed my hands over my face, trying to block it out as he carried me across the road.
I slowly let my eyes slip open, letting them adjust to the burning sunlight.
"Where are we?" I muttered.
"Outside of some small town. The guys all went to restock on food, so we have probably an hour without them." Ashley sighed, and stopped
I glanced over, seeing we were on the edge of a large field, the sun bright overhead and the heady scent of flowers filling my nose, making it burn.
I wanted to go back to the darkness.
"It hurts my eyes."
"You can't hide on the bus for the rest of the trip," Ashley frowned at me, and slowly started to set me on my feet. "We need to get you healed up."
"I don't feel like healing."
I didn't feel like doing anything, honestly. I just wanted to sleep for an eternity so the ache in my bones and the acid burns on my skin could be forgotten.
I looked down at my hands, seeing my nails cracked and bruised.
I looked like death again.
The fact I was standing and not falling over was a major improvement, however. Yesterday I hadn't been able to stand by myself.
I sighed. "Take me back."
I didn't like the way the grass felt against my legs.
"Kenali," Ashlandil frowned at me. "You love the country."
"Not right now. I wanna go back." I insisted, clutching his arm tightly.
"We're not going back." he scowled at me, the red claw mark on his face almost completely healed. "Not until you ---."
"TAKE ME BACK."
"NO."
"Then I'll go back myself!" I snapped, jerking away from him and turning around.
I hesitated; where had we come from? My sense of direction was completely off.
I couldn't see the road or bus from here.
"Kenali," I felt his hands gently cover my shoulders. "You need to relax. You're not well yet."
Like I didn't know that by all the pain in my body.
Aggravated, I whirled to face him, glaring up at him.
"Take me back!" I repeated, clinging to the sentence. It was all I wanted, just to go back, but I wasn't sure where I wanted to go.
Did I mean the bus, or did I mean home?
I hated this world so much, why would anyone want to live in it?
"Take me back," I started to weep. "I just wanna go back."
"Kenali," Ashlandil murmured, brushing the tears away from my eyes gently. He pulled me to him, letting me cry against his chest, rubbing my back in a soothing circle. "It's okay."
"It's not okay!" I clenched my hand in his shirt. "I hate this place! I don't want to be here, I want to go home! I want to go home!"
My legs trembled, and I started to slip to ths ground, he going with me. He went to his knees, cradling me like one would a small child as I sobbed, unable to control myself.
The more I had thought about this world, the more I disliked it, hated it, wanted it to just burn. There wasn't enough pleasure or happiness to fill the void this place had created in my heart.
Andiel was right to wish me not to have come here.
I would die here long before I ever got to see him again.
"Shh," Ashley whispered, stroking my hair. "It's okay, love. You don't have to cry. I'm so sorry I wasn't there in time. This is all my fault, I'm so sorry!"
"It's not your fault," I didn't want him to blame himself, "I was foolish to think I could do anything here. I'm not strong enough."
"You are strong!" his hold tightened on me, almost painfully. "And you're not foolish. A little stubborn and bitchy sometimes, but not foolish. You have a heart of gold, Kenali, don't let it be tarnished."
I sniffled, pressing closer, trying to stop crying. I was such a bother to all of them, but I didn't want to be! I wanted to help, keep all of the humans safe, protect them!
But all I seemed to do was get beat up.
I couldn't hope to beat Seraphine like this.
"Kenali, please don't be sad anymore," Ashley pressed his lips against my temple. "No more tears. We'll fix this, alright? I'll protect you."
"You shouldn't have too. I should be able to protect myself!"
"Then I'll train you," he told me, pressing his face into my limp hair. "Once you're better, I'll train you to properly fight, to protect yourself and whoever else you want too."
I hesitated, pulling away slightly. "You will?"
"Yes." he nodded, red eyes serious as the breeze shuffled his dark hair around his shoulders. "I swear it. I'll teach you how to fight."
I looked down, frowning. I could smell his musk, a dark, soft scent that I had started to associate with comfort now.
"Ken?"
"Hmm?"
"You need to heal," Ashley sighed, brushing my hair behind my ear. "I can get you someone, or ---."
"I don't want someone else," I frowned as I turned my gaze to his. "I'm not going to sleep with some random human, that doesn't seem right."
"You'll have to eventually to keep your strength up. One partner will not keep you sated long ---."
"No." I said stubbornly. "I'm not going too."
He gave an aggravated sigh. "Kenali ---."
I didn't want to talk about this anymore.
I abruptly pressed my lips to his, my fingers tangling in his hair as I kept him still, hungrily devouring his lips and keeping total control. He seemed surprised as first, and then his hands rested on my hips, seemingly resigned to let me have my way, as if he didn't want too.
I pulled away slightly, hurt.
"Do you not want to?" I asked after a moment, suddenly unsure. We had just slept together once, and it had been wonderful, but he hadn't made one move towards me since.
And now he spoke of finding me someone else, as if he didn't want to sleep with me anymore.
Not that I should care; we hardly liked each other.
"What? Of course I do." he frowned, stroking my face. "I'm just worried."
"About what?"
"You. You hate me, Kenali, it just seems strange you would want to sleep with me."
So it wasn't just me?
I felt a little relieved; I had thought since Razas blood had stained me, perhaps he wouldn't want to anymore. I had no memory of what had happened once his demon blood had kicked in, and I knew I had done something; Ashley had been acting strange ever since, amd Andy had avoided me every moment possible.
What had I done?
Ashley was the only being in the world I had who understood.
I didn't want to lose him now.
"You're the only one I trust, Ashlandil," I looked down at my fingers where they were knotted in my lap. "I wouldn't with anyone else. I couldn't."
He didn't say anything immediately, but stroked my hair, and I didn't want to look at him to see his reaction.
"Kenali," he murmured, pressing his fingers under my chin and raising my eyes up to his. His thumb brushed my lips as I pressed them together so they wouldn't tremble.
I didn't want to cry again.
I wanted to be stronger.
Ashley sighed, and his lips slowly brushed mine before settling, his thumb stroking my cheek as his tongue lazily met mine, taking his time. I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning into him as I sat across his lap.
After a moment he pushed me back, the soft grass pillowing my body as he laid me down, feathering slow kisses across my cheek. I shifted, allowing him to slip between my knees, his body pressing against mine making me feel so much more reassured he actually wanted to be with me.
His lips slipped down my throat, careful of my shoulder, and then down my chest. He paused at the hem of my shorts, pressing a kiss to the bare skin of my waist where my shirt had come up, a black bruise visible.
He started to tug my shirt off, but I grabbed his wrist, shaking my head quickly.
"Don't," I murmured, knowing my torso looked like a battleground.
He hesitated. "It's not that bad, Kenali."
"Please."
He relented, rising up to kiss me again, and my tongue met his eagerly.
I hurt, and I felt ridiculously self conscious of my bruises and scratches; all they did was remind me how weak I had been against Raza, and I didn't want Ashlandil to see them.
He sighed against my lips, pressing closer to me, forcing my legs wider to accommodate his hips. I shifted, feeling the more familiar feeling of desire start, and I pressed against him as much as I could, his fingers tightening on my hips.
His fingers drifted down my body, and I felt him pop the button to my pink shorts, tugging them down my hips and off easily; he was becoming so proficient in getting me out of my clothes quickly.
His lips went to my jaw as his fingers found their way between my thighs, and I gasped as he abruptly plunged them inside me, arching my hips.
He started a slow pace, and I moaned, feeling pleasure start through my skin.
"Ashlan," I breathed as he slipped another finger inside me, his pace becoming quicker as his thumb started to massage the rest of me in slow, harsh circles, making my muscles tighten.
His lips crushed mine suddenly, and he moaned into my mouth, his erection pressing against my thigh.
I needed him!
I jerked on his belt, my fingers fumbling to get it off. He swatted my hand away, and it irritated me he had to stop touching me long enough to jerk his jeans down his waist.
I felt a cry pull from my throat as he finally slipped inside me, his fingers threading through mine.
I clenched my hands in his, biting my lip as his hips met mine, shooting spirals of pleasure through me at every thrust until I thought I was going to implode.
I moaned, Ashlandils lips catching mine as he ground his hips roughly into mine, pressing me into the ground..
"Ashlandil ---."
He groaned, his fingers abruptly digging into my hips.

He shifted, and I gasped, feeling everything suddenly explode. I clutched him to me tightly as I lost control, and he leaned his forehead against mine, kissing me desperately as we lost it together.

Notes