Between The Roses

You know that feeling amongst people that you always dread feeling because you realize that your situation is serious and can really impact things? That is the exact feeling running through my nerves at this moment. I sat across the table from Callum with Chris and Cole on either side of me while Brett and Matt sat on either side of Callum. We were all silent as we sat there, no one really wanting to begin the conversation that will inevitably in a way suspend Zara from the band for the time being. A sigh escaped my chest and I bit the inside of my cheek.

“Alright, well, why don’t we get started?” Matt broke the silence as he look around the table.

“So what exactly are we talking about today?” I asked Matt and he stared back at me.

“Zara and what we are going to do about her situation,” he responded and I nodded. Matt then looked at Chris.

“Let’s start with you. How is Zara doing?” He asked and Chris sighed.

“Making progress but not as fast as either me or her doctor want,” he answered and Matt nodded.

“How long do you think she will need to recover?” He asked Chris.

“She has just begun opening up to her therapist and doctors. I think she is going to need a pretty big chunk of time to get better, at least six months,” he explained and I looked down at my hands.

“Okay. Now, I have been talking with Atlantic and they would like to see you guys write and record a new album in the next few months, if you can. They know about Zara’s situation and understand if you choose not to make and album right now. But, you guys do have an option to record an album,” Matt looked between me, Brett, and Callum.

“How are we supposed to make a new album without a drummer?” Callum asked.

“I have a friend who has worked with Atlantic for many years and was actually signed to them for quite some time. He is a fantastic drummer who is looking for a band to take him in for however long they need him. His name is Aidden Stiles and it would be extremely beneficial to let him step in while Zara is out,” Matt spoke loudly for all of us to hear and I sighed.

“You do realize that doing that is going to kill Zara? Falling For Fatality is her lifeline and all she cares about basically. If you basically suspend her from the band until her fucking therapist decides it is time for her to go back to making music, which by the way is a form of therapy and is very beneficial to one’s psyche, than I think it is the wrong move,” I snapped at Matt who looked at me.

“Sadee, I did not say Aidden would replace Zara, I said he would step in while she is out. Zara will always be a part of the band. But she is in a very bad place in her life right now and working the way you guys do when you make an album would only make things worse for her,” Matt responded and I rolled my eyes.

“You’re just offering this Aidden person because he’s your friend,” I stared at him with angry eyes.

“Are you feeling okay today Sadee?” Callum asked.

“No actually. I have been vomiting my insides out for the last two weeks straight. I would much rather be at home with my husband. Now, if you are going to sit here and say that you want someone to step in to do Zara’s job I am going to disagree with you. She has been my best friend since we met, I know that once she gets word that we are in the studio without her and with some new guy doing her part, she is going to be destroyed,” I explained and Matt sighed.

“I understand that Sadee, but being your guys’ manager, I think that you should be making a new album and now waiting for Zara to get better,” he told me.

“Well in a few weeks I won’t be able to do shit so why not wait for Zara?” I asked.

“A lot of pregnant singers can still to their jobs up until pretty close to giving birth,” Matt shot back and I groaned.

“That’s not the point Matt! I know I could do that, but I’m saying I’m not going to. I would like to enjoy being pregnant and not working all the time. How about we take the next few months to write a shit ton of songs for multiple albums? Hmm? Or pursue other projects that we have been putting off because you keep forcing us into making a new album? I know that Cal would love to spend time with his kids and girlfriend. Brett here just got married and I’m sure he wants to spend time with his wife,” I stared at Matt. He closed his eyes and sighed again.

“Well it’s too bad that you aren’t the manager who calls the shots now isn’t it?” He asked. I narrowed my eyes and him and shook my head.

“Wow Matt. Go fuck yourself,” I shook my head at him and pushed my chair away from the table and left the building. He has some fucking nerve if he thinks he can talk to me that way.

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Two Weeks Later
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Even with the passing of time, nothing really changed with the Zara situation. Matt was still urging me to follow his directions and have a temporary drummer come in, but I was standing my ground. Over the last two weeks I had gone to see Zara four times, and she was excited each time I saw her. But even with the relaxing time seeing her, I was still stressed beyond belief. Andy noticed I was stressed and kept trying to get me to relax and watch movies with him or go shopping for the baby together. None of it worked, until I remembered my ultrasound was today. Andy was in the studio working and was probably hating himself for having to miss it, but I got Lettie to agree to accompany me.

“So are you going to find out the sex today?” She asked as we sat in the waiting room. My hand rested on my recently protruding belly and I pursed my lips.

“Um, I don’t know. I kind of want Andy to be there with me but I kind of just want to know. So I’m kind of in a bind,” I shrugged at her and she chuckled.

“That’s understandable. You want your husband, the father of your unborn child, to be there. And I know that Andy wants to be here. So if you want to wait, go for it,” she said and I sighed.

“But I wanna know so I can start decorating the nursery,” I groaned with a chuckle and she laughed.

“How about this. The doctor can tell me the sex and I will keep it safe with me so I can do a gender reveal party for the two of you in a couple weeks?” She suggested and I stared at her with my lips pouted.

“Deal,” I spoke quickly and she nodded. After that the two of us grew silent, watching the people around us while we waited. My mind began to wander as I sat there. Even though Zara looked happier and more at peace with herself, I know she isn’t better quite yet. But I also know that she is probably at a place in her recovery that she could leave the facility and live at home with Cole, or even live with Chris and his family. The one question that has run through my head since I found out she overdosed what why? She was always so hardworking when making an album or touring. Why was she doing something that could throw all of it away?

“Sadee Biersack,” I heard my name and turned my head towards the voice. It was a nurse. Both Lettie and I quickly stood and followed her back into the doctor’s office. The first thing she did was weigh me, something I very much disliked.

“136 pounds, very nice,” she smiled at me as she wrote it on the paper. We then walked into a room and I immediately climbed up and sat on the exam table while Lettie sat next to me.

“I’m going to quickly take your temperature and then your blood pressure, alright?” The nurse asked and I nodded in agreement. She began taking my vitals and I sat there like a robot. When she was finished she looked at me as she stood and smiled.

“I will let Dr. Parksley know you are here,” she then left the room. I looked over at Lettie with a smirk.

“She was definitely a new nurse,” I giggled and Lettie smiled.

“Was she even a nurse or was she just a tech?” She asked and I shrugged.

“You know, I am 18 weeks pregnant and I still don’t necessarily feel pregnant, except for the occasional all day sickness I get,” I explained to Lettie.

“Some people do, some don’t. So, have you and Andy begun decorating the nursery or deciding on baby names?” She asked and I shrugged.

“I believe Andy went off and bought a crib the other day, without consulting me on it. So let’s hope it isn’t ugly. But other than that, no decorating. I’ve picked up some gender neutral clothes. And I think I’ve mentioned a few names to him late at night as we are going to bed, but we haven’t really had a full blown discussion about names,” I answered and she nodded.

“Answer me this, do you want a boy or a girl?” She asked.

“Uh, well, I’m not sure. Having a boy would be awesome, because girls are difficult and moody and so not something I want to deal with for 18 years. But then again boys get hurt all the time and with both me and Andy being musicians who travel quite frequently, I’m not sure,” I shrugged again and Lette nodded.

“I know that in the waiting room I said that I would do the gender reveal party for you, but this is your last chance to decide, do you want to find out the sex?” She asked me seriously.

“I don’t know. I wanted Andy to be here when I found out, but he has to be at the studio. What do you think I should do?” I asked her and she shifted in her seat.

“Well Sadee, I have known you for a few years and in my opinion I think you will beat yourself up over not finding out and it will eat you alive not knowing, so, I think you should find out,” she answered my question and I groaned.

“Fine, I’ll find out,” I said and then the door opened to the room. Dr. Parksley walked in with a smile and went right to the monitor.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Biersack. How are we feeling today, and since your last appointment?” She asked as she logged into the computer and began typing things.

“I had some pretty severe morning sickness for a few weeks but I think it has all but subsided,” I told her and she nodded.

“Good, good. The morning sickness should taper off since you are in the second trimester. Other than that, how have you been? Stress-free? Relaxing like I told you to?” She sat down on the stool and turned to me.

“Um, well, I haven’t been stress-free, but I have been relaxing more, Andy makes sure of that. I haven’t felt too weird or woozy so I think that’s a good sign,” I chuckled and my doctor smiled before standing.

“That is good to hear. But I want to remind you that I would like it more if you were stress-free, or at least had very little stress. You are still technically a high-risk pregnancy. I don’t want to have to put you back on bedrest. But, let’s move on. Lay back please and lift your shirt,” she instructed me and I obliged. She then got to work on checking my stomach, the measurements and such. Then she turned to the monitor and grabbed the bottle of the cold, blue gel. A second later she squirted some onto my belly and began doing the ultrasound. As she moved the wand around and checked things she was nodding and writing some things down.

“Alright, everything is checking out to be in the normal range. Your baby is growing right on track. Now, you are 18 weeks along now. As you probably know, you can find out the sex. Would you like to?” She asked me and I sighed before nodding. She then moved the wand around a bit before stopping.

“Well Sadee, you are going to have a little boy,” she smiled at me and pulled the wand off and handed me a towel to wipe the gel off.

“I’m having a boy?” I asked and she nodded.

“You are. Would you like a copy of the ultrasound?” She asked and I nodded quickly.

“I can do that for you. But I do want to talk to you about something. I don’t want you to get scared or freak out about it because there is nothing wrong. But we do run tests here that can check early on in the pregnancy if your baby has a genetic disorder or anything wrong with it. Is getting one of these tests something you would want to do?” She asked and I looked over at Lettie, who shrugged.

“Um, I think I should talk with my husband about that before making any decisions,” I told her and she nodded.

“That is perfectly fine, just let me know in the seven to eleven days, alright?” She asked and I nodded.

“Okay. I will go grab those ultrasounds and send them to the front desk. Don’t forget to make an appointment and I will see you in four weeks,” she smiled before leaving the room. I sighed and looked over at Lettie. My mind was running in many different directions as I sat there. For one, I’m having a boy, a son. Andy is probably going to be ecstatic about that. On the other end my mind was obsessing over the fact that if I don’t get that test Dr. Parksley was talking about, my baby could have something wrong with him that I would never know about. If she wanted me to be stress-free, she shouldn’t have told me about the tests.

Notes

Ahh! A brand new chapter! So exciting!

So Matt wants to pull a temporary drummer in while Zara gets better. What will she think about that? Sadee surely told her about it, right? Wrong. Zara has no idea. Should Sadee tell her?

Sadee is having a little baby boy! Down in the comments it would help me a lot if you guys could comment boy names for me! There are still quite a few chapters before she actually has the kid, but I want to prepare for it.

Let me know if there is anything specific you want me to add into the story!

Sadee's Outfit:
http://www.polyvore.com/sadee_between_roses_chapter/set?id=194498452

Peace <3