Returning To You

I shift awkwardly in my seat. I really don’t want to talk about Andy.
“I just love him,” Karen gushes. “He’s so insanely hot.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, picking up my pizza.
“Get out that magazine,” Paige says, gesturing at my bag. “I want to see the sexies.”
With growing dread, I pull out the magazine. I can’t very well refuse. I would look even crazier than Paige probably already thinks I am. I lay the tabloid on the table then flip through the pages until I find him. Andy.

Both girls sigh as we stare down at him. Saying he looks good is an understatement, like saying the surface of the sun is warm. He’s beyond gorgeous.
“What’s the article about?” Paige asks, reaching for the magazine. “The tour?”
“Who cares?” Karen slaps Paige’s hand away. “I want to see if there are more pictures.” She flips the page. Several more pictures of Andy cover the next two pages. Andy walking into a recording studio. Andy ducking into a cab. Andy leaving a restaurant with Jake, Ashley, Jinxx, and CC. A knot has formed in my stomach, and I’m sure I’m about to start crying. This is why I’ve avoided most media this year. I knew I wouldn’t be able to deal.

“I can’t believe we get to see him in a few weeks,” Paige says happily. “What’s the countdown?”
“Fifteen days until BVB” Karen replies. “It can’t come too soon.”
“You’re seeing them?” I ask, confused.

“Yeah, we’re spending a few weeks following the band. Starting in Boston. We’re road tripping.”
The tour… of course. The girls are going to see them in concert.
“You should totally come,” Paige tells me. “We’re following them up and down the east coast for two weeks. It’s going to be amazing.”

Her causal offer has the effect of making my urge to cry intensify. My eyes start to water.
“Hey, are you okay?” Paige asks.

I try to smile, but I have a feeling it comes out much more like a grimace. “Yeah,” I manage. I reach for my Coke, hoping to dispel the lump in my throat. I need to hold it together until I get back to the peace of my apartment. I have a feeling my self-imposed Andy-information-fast is about to go out the window. I’ll probably be gorging on pop-culture websites within the hour.
Then again, there’s probably no better source for information than his fans. “Is it a big tour?” I ask, trying to keep my voice casual. “I’ve been so busy with school that I haven’t really heard much about it.”

“Yeah, they keep adding dates,” Karen says, leaning over to get a better look at Andy's tattoo-covered biceps. “These guys are so on fire right now. And they get more popular every day.”
“Whatever,” Paige scoffs. “Bandwagoners. We’ve been fans from the start.”
“Hey, those bandwagoners are good for us,” Karen says. “The bigger Black Veil Brides gets, the more tour dates they add, and the more chances we have to see them.”
“That’s true.” Paige takes a bite of her pizza. “And the more attention they get from paparazzi.” She points at the magazine. “This totally made my day. They can invade his privacy all they want.”

Karen laughs, but I feel sick. This conversation is dancing far too close to way too many forbidden topics. I need to get out of here.
“I should get going,” I say, throwing my napkin onto my half-finished pizza. I stand and gesture at the magazine. “You guys want to keep that?”
“Nah,” Karen says, pushing it in my direction. “I get that one delivered. It will probably be at the dorm when I get there.”
I don’t want to admit how relieved I am as I slip the magazine back into my bag. “Thanks for inviting me to lunch.”
“Any time,” Paige says. “And you should really think about coming on the tour. It’s going to be so much fun.”
I give them both a small smile and turn to go. It was nice of her to offer, but the last thing I need to do is to go running off after Andy Biersack. He’s not a part of my life anymore. And the only way I’ll manage to hang onto my thin grasp of sanity is if it stays that way.

Notes

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